Not when she looks at me like me believing in her gives her life.
Chapter Six
Lola
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Ford,
This notice is served by Mount Crest High to officially acknowledge a concerning issue regarding the recent academic performance of your daughter, Lola Ford.
- Excerpt from academic notice letter
Brown,cloggy water spurts out of the tap. I jump back but it’s already splashed over my white top. “Perfect.”
I put the mug I found down on the worktop and leave the water running in the hopes it will wash out the pipes and turn clean. It was one thing putting on a brave face while Roman was here but now he’s gone the room feels cold and empty. The bones of a skeleton.
I open the refrigerator next only to be hit with a dank smell. I check for dead body parts in case Gregor was a secret cannibal, but the refrigerator is empty. It’s also not turned on.
I drop to my knees and squeeze my arm down the gap between the wall, my hand searching blindly until I find the plug. A soft whir fills the room as the fridge comes back to life. I lean against the wall and give the old machine a pat. “You and me, bud, we’re gonna be alright.”
I hadn’t actually planned on moving in till I’d had time to renovate the apartment but there was no way I was telling Roman or my parents that. I had a bag packed anyway because I’d learned a long time ago to hope for the best, prepare for the worst. The worst turned out to be just a little worse than I was expecting.
Tears push at my eyes, and I tip my head back, willing them not to fall. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to change my family’s opinion of me.
It doesn’t matter that I’ve independently traveled the world for the past five years, managing my finances, my visas, and all the other hundred things you need to be responsible for while traveling. It doesn’t matter that the last time I actually did anything reckless I was eighteen.
To them I am still the wild child. The girl who hung out with biker kids and crashed a car into the town welcome sign, because apparently street racing isn’t as easy as Max made it look.
I should have known my announcement wouldn’t go down well.
On the bright side, thanks to Roman, I can at least sleep on the bed tonight. I was ready to fight him when he followed me out of the house but somehow, he managed to say just the right thing. I’d forgotten how good he is at that.
I spent the last six years actively not thinking about Roman because he made it perfectly clear I didn’t stand a chance, which just makes everything he did this afternoon all the more confusing.
I trail my fingers over my arm, still feeling his touch. I hadn’t planned to tell him what happened when I was traveling but I’ve only ever lied to Roman once and I didn’t want to do it again. The look on his face when he saw this place was bad enough as it was.
The light bulb hanging from the ceiling flickers and a sigh slips from my lips as I look around the room. Old tape peels off on the floorboards and there’s so much dust in the air it coats my tongue as I breathe. The irony of Old Man Gregor telling me to look after this place when he’s left it in such a state would be funny if I had the energy to laugh.
Maybe I’m in over my head. I miss the crappy hostels and quirky B&B’s. I miss not having to answer to anyone but myself. I miss Scott.
I remember then that he messaged me while Roman was here, asking if I could call, so I get out my phone. Scott picks up on the first ring, his forever windswept blond hair and boyish smile appearing on my screen. His smile fades, though, when he sees me.
“What’s wrong? What’s happened?”
I shake my head, blinking back tears. “Nothing. It’s just a lot, you know? My apartment’s a mess, Roman makes my head spin, and I really, really need a coffee.” I’m used to working in cafes and restaurants where I had an endless supply of caffeine but despiteowninga coffee shop, I have not a single element required to make one.
“You could always come back to New Zealand… you know, totally for your sake and not to keep me company or anything.” There’s a teasing hint to his tone as he tries to look oh so innocent.
I laugh a little, but his words remind me of the message I got this morning. The one telling me I should have stayed away.
I chew my bottom lip. “Something weird did kind of happen.”
“Yeah?”
I tell him about the message and Scott’s lightness falls away. “Lola, that’s serious. Have you told the police?”
I grimace. “I can’t. Not without them asking questions.” I pick a bit of tape off the floor and finally voice what I’ve been afraid of saying. “I think it might be Carson. He’s out of prison.”
Scott runs a hand through his sun-soaked hair. “Fuck. Maybe youshouldcome back out here, Lo. I don’t want that guy anywhere near you.”
