I thought my heart was going to give out as she dropped through the air like a bullet before disappearing deep beneath the water but that was nothing compared to what I’m feelingnow. My throat closes up, guilt wracking my body. I thought I knew where the danger was, I thought I could keep Lola safe.
But I was wrong. And I failed her. Again.
I tilt my head back, searching for air as my chest seizes.
“Roman,” Mase calls my name, and I try to answer but I can’t. Stars break out across my vision and some part of me is aware I need oxygen. Then the little white dots burst into color. Like fireworks.
Wait. No.Thosearefireworks.
The colors are pale against the light blue sky, but harsh bangs thud the air as fireworks fly in all directions on the cliff. And that’s when I remember what else is up on that cliff.
The old barn.
“Skyler,” I shout over the fizz and pop of the fireworks. “Did Lola tell Scott what happened on her eighteenth? Where it happened?”
“She said she told him everything.”
“Motherfucker,” I curse under my breath as I leap back up onto the jetty and leg it towards the shore. Mase is hot on my heels and we make it back to the car just as the fireworks stop.
My heart pounds against my ribcage, rattling my entire body.
I’m coming, Firebird. Just hold on a little longer.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Lola
Oh shit. Shit. Lola the barn’s on fire!
No, no, no, no. Oh my god, my parents are going to kill me.
- Conversation between Sadie, age 15 and Lola, age 15
Ringingwhines in my ears as smoke grows thick around me. I uncurl as best I can from the ball I huddled into when the fireworks started going. It wasn’t like when we were kids. They didn’t shoot straight into the sky, they burst out of the floorboard at all angles, bright lights whizzing and burning, bangs loud enough to burst my ears.
Across the barn, Scott groans and I scramble to sit up. The ropes chafe my skin and sweat breaks out on the back of my neck. It’s so hot in here. And there’s so much smoke.
I can just about make out Scott’s body on the other side of the barn, he’s propped against the wall, gripping his arm.Is that… is that a firework in his shoulder?
My eyes sting from the smoke and it’s not till I’ve blinked half a dozen times that I realize why it’s so damn hot.
The barn is on fire.
Small pockets of flames are dotted around the barn, like dozens of tiny campfires. But the wood up here is old and dry and the flames are spreading fast.Oh, this is bad, this is really fucking bad.
Sweat drips down my face and I’m coughing more than I’m breathing. I inch away from the flames, tugging at the ropes tying my wrists to my ankles. The knots won’t budge though, and my head swims. I cough some more, intense heat singing my arms.
I squeeze my eyes shut, the stinging too much to bear. The fire’s roaring now, flames spitting and crackling around me, smoke so thick it’s like I’m breathing tar. My lungs burn.
I think about my dad and how mad he’s going to be that I started yet another fire. Maybe he won’t mind this time but I’m suddenly desperate for him to shout at me. I want him to wrap me in his arms and tell me off for making him worry. I want another lecture from Roman. I want him to look at me like I drive him crazy, and he can’t get enough. I want him to kiss me, his lips firm and sure.
I want to tell him I love him, not because he fixes everything but because when I’m with him, nothing needs to be fixed.Idon’t need to be fixed.
The fire roars in my ears, wood snapping and crashing to the floor. My mind goes hazy. I stop pulling at the ropes. It feels a little like I’m dreaming.
Maybe that’s why I imagine cool hands sliding underneath me. For a moment it feels like I’m flying and then everything is cold. Cold air. Cold ground. A cold hand on my cheek.
“I’ve got you, Firebird. I’ve got you.”
