I spent so many nights up here, hanging out with the biker kids and dancing in the dark. Even after I burned the barn half down with the fireworks we still came up here.
I stop breathing. My gaze goes to the far corner of the barn and the loose floorboard where we used to stash the fireworks.Please, please let this generation of kids be as stupid as we were.
I made a lot of mistakes back then but maybe, just maybe, my reckless past is going to be the thing that saves me.
I shuffle across the barn, the rough wood catching on my pants. It takes too long but I make it to the other side and press my heel on the floorboard till it comes loose.
A brightly colored box of fireworks sits in the hole and I almost cry when I see the matches on top, except I can’t move my hands low enough to reach them.
Cursing, I shuffle closer and use my feet, wedging the matchbox between my toes until I can grab it. My eyes dart to the front of the barn.
There’s still no sign of Scott but I don’t think he’ll leave me here for long so I work as fast as I can, taking out a match and striking it against the side.
Nothing happens.Fuck.
I strike it again. “Come on, come on.” Finally, the flame catches. I drop it in the gap in the floorboard, on top of the fireworks. Then I shuffle back to the other side of the room,getting as far away as I can because while this might be the smartest idea I’ve ever had, it might also be the stupidest.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Roman
Jesus Christ, Lola, I told you not to jump.
Relax, I’m fine!
You just jumped off a thirty-foot cliff, you could have killed yourself. And I wouldn’t have been able to do anything to stop it.
- Conversation between Lola, age 17 and Roman, age 24
“Thanks, O’Connor, appreciate it.”I hang up and head back inside to find Lola. I don’t like her being out of my sight when Carson’s walking free.
Skyler sweeps past me, a tray stacked with empty mugs balanced on one hand. “Hey, Roman, where’s Lola? We’re running out of apple fries.”
My feet stop moving. “She’s not here?”
Skyler puts the tray on the counter and looks back at me. “I thought she stepped outside with you.”
I grip my phone, panic itching at my back. “I told her to stay in here.”
Beside me, Hux starts moving. “I’ll check upstairs,” he says, “maybe she’s with Brynlee.”
I nod and go over to Cooper and his teammates by one of the longer tables. “Hey,” I say to him. “You seen, Lola?”
Cooper shakes his head but the guy next to him looks up. “The one with the purple streaks in her hair? She went out the back like five minutes ago.”
No. No, no, no.
“Roman?” Mase calls out after me as I run for the back door.
I push it open, scanning the small space out back but all I find is Lola’s apron tangled on the ground.
Mase comes out after me. “What the hell’s going on?”
I stare at Lola’s apron, numbness spreading through my body, an all too familiar dread sinking into my stomach. “Lola’s gone. It’s Carson. It has to be.”
I step farther outside, spinning around, looking for anything that might help me find her because I cannot lose the only woman I’ve ever loved.
I live and breathe Lola Ford, and I can already feel myself shutting down.
