“So he is not forcing you to this way of thinking? Or is Philippe persuading you somehow?”
“Nay,” he said, shaking his head now. “Sebastien said that men of honor follow their consciences and honor their pledges. I want to be a man of honor.”
Sitting back in her chair, Lara was overwhelmed by the lessons taught and learned in just these last few months under Sebastien’s guidance. Her husband had treated them all with infinite patience and care and honor. Oh, she knew he manipulated her at times, but he never did it to hurt or harm her, and she recognized when he did it. Mayhap that was part of his plan?
She sought her bed earlier than usual that day, exhaustion driving her to it just after eating with the children. She was no less confused when she woke up in Sebastien’s embrace in the middle of the night. Once more he warmed and protected her, with no expectation of a return on his actions.
In the morning, when her face was less swollen and she could see more clearly, she sought out one of the books in her mother’s collection, an illuminated history of the MacDougalls. One of the pictures portrayed her great-great-grandfather pledging himself to the king who had granted their original charter of lands and titles.
Looking at both the men involved, Lara noticed first that there was nothing subservient about her ancestor’s stance or gaze as his hands were held by those of his liege lord. And there was nothing prideful or gloating in the appearance of the king as he accepted the words spoken by his vassal.
As she translated the pledge from Latin, she let the meaning flow over her. Everything became clear to her as she contemplated what Sebastien offered and promised her.
She took to her chambers, chasing all away with a tale of tiredness, and spent the day thinking on the words that could express her decision to Sebastien. Finally, when Margaret brought news that he and his commanders would meet in the hall before their supper, Lara knew it was time.
Time to make her choice.
Chapter Seventeen
Lara could not wait for supper to do this, for her stomach rebelled due to nerves. It had to be now. She made her way from her room to the hall where Sebastien met with his own commanders. His troops were divided into six companies, each with a different skill or superiority in some aspect of warfare. One contingent was skilled with bows, another with sword and lance and another with ax and pike. As Malcolm had explained to her in the last day, some had trained with the Black Douglas before coming to Sebastien, and some of his men had fought with Sebastien for the last three years.
She walked with a boldness she did not feel to the front of the room where they had maps spread out and were deep in discussion over their upcoming mission. One of the men noticed her and called out to Sebastien to bring her to his attention. Soon the room had quieted and, after each man stood and bowed to her, they waited to discover her purpose here.
Standing before Sebastien, she wondered why she had ever thought to betray him. How could she do anything but love this man who had given her so much and saved her from so much else? Lara saw the puzzlement on his face and smiled at him. Then she knelt before him, with her hands extended out to him and her head bowed.
The words that she had practiced all morning and most of the afternoon swirled around in her thoughts, and she began to repeat them out loud for all to hear.
“By the Lord before whom I, Lara MacDougall of Dunstaffnage, swear this oath, and in the name of all that is holy, I will pledge to Sebastien of Cleish, Laird of Dunstaffnage, to be true and faithful, and to love all that he loves and to shun all that he shuns, according to the laws of God and the order of the world. I swear that I will not ever, with will or action, through word or deed or omission, do anything unpleasing to him, on condition that he will hold to me as I shall deserve it, and that he will perform everything as it was in our agreement when I first submitted myself to him and his mercy and chose his will over mine. I offer this unconditionally, with no expectations other than his faith and favor as my lord and husband.”
She finished the oath and waited, with head low and hands outstretched, for his reaction. No one spoke a word. There were no whispers or noises in the hall in spite of the large number of people who were watching her submission to her lord and husband. He stepped closer and she felt his hands cover hers. She noticed, in that moment, that his were shaking as badly as hers. Then his voice poured over her as he spoke in response.
“I, Sebastien of Cleish, Laird of Dunstaffnage, do accept this oath of fealty as sworn here before these witnesses, and do promise as lord and husband to protect and defend the person and properties of Lara MacDougall of Dunstaffnage who here pledges on her honor that she will be ruled by my will and by my word. I agree to the promises contained herein this oath unconditionally, with no expectations other than her love and faith and favor as my lady and my wife.”
The cheering and clapping that filled the hall in the next moment was deafening, but she heard the word that he had added in his pledge—her love. She raised her head and met his gaze then and read, there on his face and in his eyes, all that he had promised and more.
Sebastien drew her to her feet and pulled her into his arms, wrapping them around her and lifting her to him. And he kissed her in a manner that had little to do with the formal kiss of peace usually shared in this ceremony, opening himself to her even as he claimed her in front of his men and any MacDougalls still present.
“I think they are pleased for us,” he said, leaning close enough to her ear that his breath tickled her there.
“And you, my lord? Are you pleased?” He’d said that this was what he wanted, but how did he feel now that she had made this choice?
“I am well pleased by this, Lara.” He kissed her again.
“My lord? We could finish this later,” one of the commanders said.
Sebastien laughed. “We are that obvious, are we?” He turned back to her. “I would ask your leave, my lady. There are things that must be finished now.” He did not look happy about it, but she knew the truth of it.
“As you wish, my lord. I will await you in our chambers,” she answered as she sank into a deep curtsy.
He said nothing in reply, although the wanting that showed on his face told her so much. Her body reacted to it, warming in preparation for his claiming. Lara walked through the hall to the tower steps.
Callum stepped out of the corridor and stopped before her. “My lady,” he said with a bow of his head.
“What is it that you need, Callum?” She suspected she knew the topic, since Callum was one of Eachann’s men here in the keep. She’d known since the day she listened to Sebastien and James Douglas through the wall. He’d warned her of Sebastien’s approach.
“That was quite a show, my lady. He is already fascinated by you—this should keep your duties to Eachann a secret still.”
“Callum, I am done with that. My cousin has no place here any longer.” She felt stronger now knowing that she had her husband’s protection.
