“So far? Is there more then?”
“You’ve given me your word and your actions and your body. Only your heart is left.”
“My heart? You would want my heart?”
“Oh aye.” He sat up and climbed from the bed, searching for and finding a new pair of trews to put on. Standing before her, he decided to tell her the truth of his life. “I grew up with nothing—a bastard whose mother married and had another family and five more children with her husband. My stepfather believed I would train with him to be a blacksmith, but I had no skill with the fire and iron.”
“And your natural father? Do you know who he is?”
“Aye. My mother served in the public room of her father’s inn. One of their guests, a nobleman traveling on King Edward’s business, availed himself of her favors.”
“Oh, Sebastien! Was she forced to it? Was there no one to protect her?”
He laughed and shook his head. “Forced? Nay, she gave herself freely to him, hoping to serve as his mistress and gain some measure of security that can come from that.” She frowned again. “Come, Lara. You know how that works. She caught and bore a bastard, one in a long line for my noble father. It happens wherever the noble class and those below are involved.”
“Like Margaret and Sir Hugh?”
“Just so, but he has made an honorable offer to her.”
“So, then, who is your father?” She had held the question within for an admirable length of time. Longer than most would. She looked at him with such an air of expectancy that he felt tempted to break his vow to never reveal his name.
“I swore a vow not to speak of him.”
Her lips thinned to a line much as Malcolm’s did when the lad was faced with something he did not like. Sebastien reached out to run his finger over them, hoping they would soften beneath his touch as her body had. When they did, his own body hardened once more. He must leave now or he would never escape the chamber this morn.
“I did not begin this tale of woe to gain your sympathy,” he said, pulling a shirt and then a shorter tunic over his head. “I did it to explain that I want it all.” He wrapped the thick leather belt around his waist and buckled it. Sebastien reached under the bed to retrieve his sword and slid it into the scabbard on his belt.
“For so long, I denied that anything about this kind of life—” he waved his hand around the room to show her what he meant “—was appealing. I had the life I wanted—I was a warrior on the good side of the battle, giving my talent with the sword to a man I believe in. I owned my horse, my armor and anything I could carry with me. All I needed.”
She nodded, but he could read her expression and knew she did not understand. She was trying, though, and that touched his heart.
“You have lived all your life with family around you, in one place—a home—with everything you need provided to you. With Robert’s orders to wed you—”
“Or kill me. Forget not that part of your orders,” she added, wagging her finger at him.
“When we wed and he made me warden here with his plans for Dunstaffnage, I discovered that I do indeed want everything I missed. A home. Marriage. Even, God willing, children someday.” His boots were in the next room, so he stood before her, dressed and barefoot. “As I have come to know you, I discovered the woman I want as my wife.”
“But that is a given here, Sebastien. We are wed. You have a wife.”
“I want more,” he said with a sigh. “There is so much within you, but for some reason or for many, you have not shared it with me.” Turning to the door, he shook his head. “You will know, as will I, when that moment happens. When you give your heart to me, I will have everything I have ever wanted.”
His words stunned her into silence for a moment. He walked to the door and lifted the latch.
“Andyou?Are you willing to givemeall? Will you give me your heart?”
There was no reason to lie now, or to avoid the question.
“My heart has been yours from the moment I spoke my vows to you. I may not have known it then, but I do now.”
Whatever he’d imagined would happen when he shared the knowledge of his love with her, the bewilderment and disbelief in her gaze was not it. “But I have been hostile and hateful and rebellious and dishonest with you from the beginning. How could you love me?”
Sebastien released the latch, walked back to the bed and held out his hand to her. She took it and he entwined their fingers together.
“I have seen a woman who is brave in spite of the dangers around her, trusting in spite of her fears, loving to those she calls family and stubborn in her resistance to a man who was her enemy. All traits I admire, lady.”
A knock came on the door, reminding him of those waiting in the yard. “Now I must go and teach both Hugh and James a very important lesson in manners.”
He leaned over for a quick kiss and then left the room. Lara still sat in the same position with the same stunned expression as he strode past Malcolm and Philippe and ordered them to follow. As he made his way down the steps, through the hall and out into the yard, with the boys at his heels, he realized that she’d admitted to dishonesty. It did not surprise him, for he would do the same to protect those in his care and would excuse it on those grounds.
