‘There are always suspicions and nebulous threats between any and every clan in the kingdom, my lord,’ she interrupted. From his surprised expression, he was neither used to being interrupted nor had expected it from her. ‘All I’m asking is an escort to Skye.’
‘What about Alan?’ the lady asked softly.
‘Lady?’ she replied.
Plainly put, all of this centred on him. Sorcha needed to get away before he returned with the truth. For now, though, it was all speculation. As long as he did not bring back someone who actually could identify her, she could deny it all.
‘’Tis ironic somehow that you should end up in the same place and in love with the man so linked to yourdeathand your escape.’ Sorcha could feel herself blanch at the words. ‘And the one man who could seek out the truth of both matters.’
‘I cannot put him in the position of choosing his honour over me, my lady. If he kens the truth, he has no choice but to tell my father and his uncle. ’Tis why I must leave before he returns.’
Now, their gazes at her softened, as though her admission had eased whatever their concern was. Sorcha had decided, in those long nights of contemplation before coming here, that she would not deny her feelings for Alan to them.
‘And you give him no choice in this matter? No chance to make his own decision after finding out the truth of you?’ The Mackintosh asked.
Courage, her mother’s voice whispered once more.
‘I am a coward, my lord. I cannot face him after the lies.’ Sorcha looked away, staring at the window on the wall there so she did not have to see the expression of disappointment at her admission.
‘Your actions say otherwise, lady,’ he said, drawing her attention back. ‘I ken a few, a very small number of, well-born women who would be able to survive as you have, first with your father and then on your own, using your wits to make it from day to day.’
She noticed he tightened his hold on his lady’s hand then and the tears that spilt down Arabella’s cheek at his words that were high praise indeed. Then, he lifted his wife’s hand to his lips and kissed it with a reverence that nearly undid her last vestige of control.
‘I suspect that he will continue his search for you if he finds you gone when he arrives,’ he said as he stood once more. ‘But I agree to your bargain, my lady. With a few modifications.’
‘What changes?’
‘The first place he will seek you out will be on Skye, so I will send you to kin of mine in the north. After he gives up on his search, then I will see that you are escorted to your chosen convent.’
It made sense. If Alan felt towards her as she did for him, he would not meet the news of her departure well and would try to find her. Especially with the unanswered questions she kenned he would have. A man like Alan did not give up easily once his interest was roused.
‘Very well,’ she said.
The Mackintosh retrieved cups and a jug and filled one for each of them. He sat back down and waited for her to do the same. The time for reckoning had come.
It took some time to reveal her knowledge and to answer the dozens and dozens of questions that the laird and lady asked. At first, she thought that Arabella did not believe her words about her uncle’s plans, but it soon became clear to Sorcha that the lady had a full understanding of her kin.
When a servant knocked on the chamber’s door summoning the laird below-stairs, Sorcha was exhausted and empty. As he left to see to the matter, Brodie Mackintosh turned and faced her once more.
‘I cannot order you to wait for him, but the lad deserves to hear the truth from your lips, just as you should hear his from him.’
He was gone before she could reply. His words, not the ones about staying but those about Alan’s truths, struck her. With their conversations and hearing about him from the lady and from Clara and Jamie, Sorcha felt that she knew him well. Only now did she think how there must be reasons for his estrangement from his family, his almost-exile by his uncle, and those things in his character or life that drove him to search for all manner of things and people lost. She turned to face Arabella Cameron.
‘You understand why it can be never be more between us, do you not, lady?’ Surely the woman of breeding and experience understood her dilemma. ‘So many would pay a price for my actions. He would be in an impossible situation.’
‘Sometimes, Sorcha, I think it best to let a man decide his own fate.’
‘I cannot stay here and risk recognition when The Cameron comes to pay a visit. Or, God forbid, my father comes here.’ Sorcha shook her head. ‘We both know that as close kin to the chieftain, Alan cannot marry at will. ’Twill do us no good to continue with any hope that there is a way for us to be together, lady.’
The tears would not stay then, so Sorcha stood and curtsied. She needed to leave.
‘I pray you to send word when your husband has made arrangements. I would like to leave as soon as possible.’
She stumbled out the door even as the lady called her name, grabbing on to the railing on the wall to make her way down the stairs. Without looking left or right or pausing, she made her way out of the keep and out of the gates. Caring not for her destination, she walked and walked and walked, somehow ending up this time in front of Clara’s cottage. Lucky for her, since Alan was not there to search and find her if she got lost now.
* * *
A messenger from Brodie came the next day and told her to prepare to leave Glenlui in two days’ time.
