He walked past her, pulled the door open even wider and called out in his battle voice to those outside. It took little time for their journey to begin.
She did not ask and he did not say what his plan was, but she knew her husband and little that he set his mind to do was ever left undone.
The thorn was loosening a bit.
Chapter Twenty-Three
They circled each other over the next sennight, acknowledging the other with the slightest of nods or glances. But Aidan had decided not to press her at this point. He did, however, find ways to observe her when she did not know he was there.
The people in Rob’s clan had accepted this stranger into their midst and seemed to have a care for her. A small girl brought messages and bundles of food to her from the girl’s mother and other women in the village. A strong older boy helped her with the harder tasks, such as cutting and carrying peat and wood for her fires. She spent time during the day working in the new garden she’d carved into the small plot next to her cottage. He wondered if she grew betony yet.
Aidan accepted the duties he was given and let everything else ruminate while he looked for a solution. The one thing that had not changed was his love for Catriona.
And when a note passed to him from someone in the keep informed him that his parents were now travelling towards Keppoch Keep, his path became clear to him and the cost of his youthful stupidity must be paid by him and no other.
* * *
Catriona finished her tasks, put away her mending and put out some of the candles. She poured the last of her tea into her cup and sat sipping it before going to bed. Tired from staying busy and from the demands that pregnancy put on her body now, she had been finishing up and seeking her bed earlier each night.
Her cold, empty, lonely bed.
The one in which she tossed and turned every night, examining her conscience and the same question—could good come from a bad beginning? Or did the bad taint everything that came from it?
Though she would love the babe as much as she loved his father, could she accept him and be happy when a man’s death had been caused by them?
She was no closer to an answer, in spite of knowing he was there in Keppoch village and keep.
Though she’d seen Lady Matheson and now knew of the connection between her and Aidan, she could not figure out why Lord MacLerie had sent her here. If Aidan had not found her, she could have been happy here among these people.
Since that night when he’d recognised her, she waited for him to appear at her door, demanding that she listen to his side of things. Instead, he gave her a wide circle, not approaching directly or even too closely. It was almost as though he was giving her the time and distance she wanted.
The problem was that she wanted him. Now that this babe seemed firmly in place and growing well, she wanted to share the small joys with the man she loved. The last time, she had lived in fear through the whole time, never knowing what to expect and then getting worse than she could have imagined. What would it be like to go through this with Aidan at her side? With both of them wanting this babe? With both of them...
The soft scratching on the door startled her. She put her cup down and went to open it. Sometimes, one of the village women, Seonag or Isobel or one of the others, would send over their leftover food from their suppers for her. When she put her hand on the latch, he whispered through the door.
‘Catriona? I would speak with you, if you would grant me a few moments?’
Damn her traitorous heart, for it raced in reaction to his voice, his whispered words, and even just knowing he was so close to her now. She tugged the door open and forgot how to breathe once again.
He looked wonderful and terrible at the same time. She wanted to push him away and take him in her arms. She loved him and wanted to hate him in the same moment, but love won out. She knew then that she could not hate him, not even knowing that he thought he was responsible for Gowan’s death. For in the long and lonely nights filled only with time for thinking, she’d realised that Munro played just as much a part in his father’s death, maybe more so than even Aidan.
If Munro had not believed the worst, for whatever reason he chose to do so, he would have let things lie and never summoned his father home. In his attempt to punish her and humiliate Aidan, he’d sent the message that forced Gowan on to that road that night and to his death.
Up to that time, nay, up until Gowan was long dead and buried, she was a faithful wife to him. Aidan’s sins were of lust and pride and for coveting a woman who was not his to covet.
With that knowledge in her heart, she waited on his words, hoping he would ask for her forgiveness so she could do so. Instead his words shocked her.
‘I have come to say farewell to you, Cat.’ He did not try to come in, but only stood there outside her door. ‘It is unfair for me to disrupt the life you have found here on your own. I thought...I thought that if I could say the right words, you might...’ He paused then and gazed at her. ‘I have realised that I expected what every other man has expected of you—that you would do what I wanted because I wanted it so. I thought that if I came and said the words I wanted to tell you, you would accept them and forgive me.’
He looked away then and she felt the tears beginning to gather in her eyes. ‘But I was wrong. The things I did were wrong. The way I forced you into my protection and manipulated you into caring for me was wrong.’ Aidan laughed sadly. ‘I thought you were like all the others and, in that, I was truly and completely wrong.’ He cleared his throat and glanced back at her then.
‘Aidan, I...’
He shook his head. ‘I pray you let me finish first?’ She nodded.
‘On the morrow, I journey to a cousin’s lands in the north. I will tell my sister where I am so that if you have need of anything...’ His gaze fell to her belly and she instinctively placed her hand there. ‘She will know where I can be found. My father is supporting you and the bairn?’ he asked.
‘Aye,’ she forced out, the tears now tightening her throat and spilling over and down her cheeks. ‘He paid me for the house.’
