The sound of his loud voice, calling out orders to this one or that one, echoed through the hall and into the chamber where she waited. Jocelyn cringed at the tone, at the sound of servants crying out and dropping things and then at the silence as they, no doubt, watched him walk by, hoping he would not focus his attentions on them.
It had not been this bad when she first moved here, nor since. But this falling-out between father and son, between chieftain and heir, was tearing the MacLeries apart. And pride and anger was not going to heal this breach.
The door opened and Connor strode in, his pain evident to her in every step he took towards her.
‘You called for me?’ he asked, going to the table and pouring a measure of whisky into a cup and swallowing it in one mouthful.
‘This turmoil is not good, Connor,’ Jocelyn said, walking towards him. Many would stand away, but she needed to touch him, to soothe him when her words would inflame him. ‘And I have been searching for the real cause of it.’
‘Your son’s pigheadedness and immaturity!’ he shouted. ‘He is stubborn, like you, and questions my decisions and my authority.’
At one time, she would have run at such words, but she and her Beast had been through too much for this bluster to frighten her off. She needed to take the proverbial thorn from the lion’s paw, but it was going to hurt in doing so. Taking a deep breath, she walked to his side and touched his arm. He almost pulled it from her. Almost. But he calmed the tiniest amount and let her hand remain there.
‘I discovered two secrets you are keeping, from me and from our son, and I wonder if, in keeping those secrets, you are not feeling guilty?’ The muscles in his arm tensed and she waited for him to withdraw from her touch. When he did not, she pressed on.
‘One secret you keep would have helped Aidan and might have averted this whole situation. The other would have helped you get your way with him and yet you did not use it when you could have. So, would you like to hear what I have discovered?’
Connor glared at her and ground his teeth together, but did not move away.
Men liked to think that only women gossiped or spent time passing tales around, the juicier the better, but, truth be told, men were just as good at it as women were. And no man in Lairig Dubh could share gossip, and in the right circumstances share secrets with her, like Rurik Erengislsson.
She had developed a relationship with the half-Scot, half-Norse warrior in her first days here, even if they did not recognise it. He became the one man she could count on, no matter the situation, and he stood at her back at times when Connor could not. Though things became strained recently when her brother pursued his daughter, Rurik had seen the love between them and given up his resistance to the match.
So, when she needed to know what was truly going on with her husband and the clan, she spoke to Rurik. He probably did not even realise the importance of what he’d shared with her, but she had. A good challenging game of chess and the man spilled out information he would never have shared if he wasn’t concentrating on and distracted by his next move.
‘Aidan was not the one who decided on Gowan’s assignment that day. The one that took him from Lairig Dubh and began...’ They both knew what it all started. ‘The names of those being sent had already been chosen. Aidan only thinks it was his decision.’
‘So, what of it? It was a test of his abilities and he failed,’ he growled out.
‘But instead of stopping him, you let Gowan go. You knew of Aidan’s attraction to the man’s wife and you let him go.’
He let out a breath filled with pain and guilt and his eyes confirmed her suspicions. He had made the decision. He allowed the situation, even knowing what would most likely happen.
‘Gowan was the best man to go. We needed his experience and his training skills with those new soldiers,’ he explained in a voice that showed his conviction wavering. ‘I made the decision for the good of the clan.’
‘That is why you were willing to give Catriona the house and the settlement when Aidan asked for them. Not because of his guilt, but your own?’ she asked, not expecting an answer. Jocelyn walked over to one of the large chairs and sat down. When Connor did the same, she continued.
‘You just did not realise that his heart was already engaged. That this woman was different from all the rest who came before.’
‘I believed that when Gowan died and Aidan thought he’d caused it, he would lose interest in her. She’s too old for him. She’s too poor. She’s uneducated. She’s—’
‘She’s not a whore.’ His eyes flared then in surprise, something not common to her husband.
‘How do you know that?’ he asked. ‘The men I spoke to said she was.’
‘I spoke to the ones you did not. The ones who saw the whole of the incident that led to Gowan’s marriage to her. Her father was trying to force her into selling herself and she fought him and the men he tried to sell her to. Gowan heard the commotion, took her from there and handfasted with her the next day. Their marriage in church happened later when they arrived back here some weeks later.’
‘I should have asked you to gather the information I needed,’ he said with a harsh, sarcastic chuckle.
‘Aye, you should have, for I also found out she thought herself barren because she’d just lost a babe and had nearly died from it.’
He stared at her for a moment, his gaze filled with admiration. But, that moment passed and the anger flowed back. It would take more than just a secret to break down his resistance to the whole truth of the matter.
‘That led me to the second secret you keep.’
‘What secret is that, Wife?’ he asked, shifting on the chair to face her.
‘You did not tell Aidan the truth when he confronted you about your role in Catriona’s departure. You allowed everyone to believe that you forced Catriona from here. That you decided to exile her to some secret place to get her away from Aidan.’
