Catriona sat at the table once more and pulled the cup nearer. Instead of the usual smell she expected, this was something else. Something pungent. Something...bad. Trying not to offend, she slid the cup away without taking a taste.
‘I need to leave Lairig Dubh and I would be grateful for any advice you can give me.’
‘Where will you go?’ Ciara asked, drinking more of the now noxious-smelling liquid.
‘That is what I wanted to ask you. You have travelled widely on the earl’s business and I thought you might have knowledge of a small village or town where I could live and seek employment.’
It made her dizzy. She could not identify the ingredient that bothered her, but the smell turned her stomach and she gagged. Pushing up from the chair, she ran out the door and into the fresh air. Her stomach lurched and she wanted to vomit. Standing there, trying to breathe while her stomach rebelled, she was surprised when Ciara stood beside her, holding a cold cloth on her neck.
‘Have you been ill?’ Ciara asked.
‘Nay, not ill exactly,’ she explained. ‘I just have not been feeling well.’
‘All this upset, no doubt,’ Ciara said, though her tone echoed disbelief. ‘Come, sit here and talk.’
They settled on a bench there by the door and soon the coolness of the cloth made her feel better.
‘So when do you plan to leave?’
‘As soon as I can make arrangements to go,’ she admitted. ‘Soon, it will be difficult to stay.’
‘And the house? Will you sell it?’
‘Ciara, I have not signed the papers. It does not belong to me,’ she explained. ‘I told Aidan I would use it while I needed it and not accept it from him.’
‘I thought I was clear—that contract was for your peace of mind. The house is yours. The laird, not Aidan, put the deed in your name.’
She blinked. She owned the house after all. She would have to sell it or rent it if she left.
‘Would you consider staying and working for me?’
‘For you?’ The offer was quite unexpected.
‘Aye, for me. Not that you will have to, but I need someone to oversee my household. The children adore you, you know both the cook and the nurse and we work well together.’ Ciara shrugged. ‘I am guessing that you want to leave because Aidan will marry?’
‘I...I cannot stay. I cannot be his leman once he marries, Ciara. I have seen it and I cannot.’
‘Can you stay and make your own life here? You do not have to see him. He will be moving to Ord Dubh as soon as he marries.’
Cat knew that much, but there were so many memories here that would always remind her of him, of them. And then one day, he would return as laird and earl in his own right.
‘I am guessing not. Well, at least now you have the means to go or come as it pleases you.’
‘Thanks to him, I do.’ Catriona felt the sadness descending on her. ‘So, have you any ideas? Muireall’s husband has friends in one of the northern villages and I thought that might be a good place.’
‘Will you tell him of the bairn before you leave?’
She frowned at the younger woman. Was Ciara carrying again?
‘What bairn? What do you mean?’ she asked.
Her stomach began churning again and this time she could not dispel it. She fell to her knees and vomited right there in the grass. It went on and on, until her belly emptied itself completely. Sitting back on her heels, she tried to take a breath in. Ciara was back with a cold cloth and a cup of water for her to rinse her mouth.
‘That bairn,’ she said with too much joviality for the situation. ‘The one you are carrying. The one, if my counting is correct, will be born in about a seven month.’
‘I am barren,’ she said aloud, needing to remind herself. Catriona’s hand drifted to her belly. ‘The healer said when I lost the babe that I would never conceive or carry again.’
‘Ah, so you did lose a bairn, then? I wondered.’
