‘What is this about, my lord?’ she asked softly, her gaze not meeting his. ‘Why this? Why me?’
‘Catriona.’ He waited for her to look at him. When she did not, he spoke her name again, louder. ‘Catriona.’ Those deep-blue eyes filled with sorrow now met his and he ached to destroy every bit of sadness there. ‘I caused much of the pain you are suffering. I wanted you and wanted no one and nothing to stand in the way of that.’
‘So Muireall was right, then? This is about guilt and desire? Mostly guilt from the sound of it.’
He smiled. Muireall, like many MacLerie women, was intelligent and outspoken and, most times, correct in her assessment. ‘She is partly right. Guilt? Aye, guilt drove me to arrange with my father for this house and a settlement for you.’ He stepped closer to her, crouching down so that their faces were at the same level. ‘But never doubt that desire played a bigger part.’
A lovely blush crept up from her neck to her chin and then into her cheeks, brightening her paleness.
‘I have never been alone with a man not my father or my husband or other kin,’ she whispered. ‘Or spoken of such matters before.’
‘And I have never explained my desires to anyone before,’ he admitted with a grin. ‘Actually, I have never had to talk about them with the woman I want—we usually went straight to bedplay and discussed very little at all.’
Another admission, but a true one. As her blush deepened, he realised that with most of the women he’d wanted or slept with, a wink or a kiss told her she was wanted and they ended up entwined in passion. He’d never wanted or had to discuss personal matters with a woman.
He wanted her. He got her. He had her.
‘And now?’ she asked, her voice trembling.
‘Now, you own this house. ’Tis yours along with the settlement from my father.’
‘And the contract that your cousin presented to me? What does that mean? I ken you feel guilty about the rumours that spread. I ken that you overstepped, but ’tis not like you killed Gowan and owe me a widow’s portion.’
Could she see the truth of it in his eyes? He looked away and took a breath. If she knew the truth, there was no chance of anything between them. If she knew he had been the one to send Gowan away, she would hate him for ever.
‘My father believed it the right thing to do since Gowan has served him for nigh on a score-and-ten years,’ he said.
His father’s shocked expression as Aidan had taken responsibility for something he’d caused flashed in his thoughts. Though feared and ruthless, his father also lived by a clear rule of right and wrong. This was the right thing to do for many reasons, some Aidan would not share now or ever with her.
Ciara’s reaction was more comical. She had perfected Duncan’s glacial expression while still young and that led to her being able to observe treaty and alliance discussions. She learned not to react, not to give away her feelings or opinions on any matter, large or small. Her experience deserted her a sennight ago when she was brought in and asked to handle this personal matter. Though it pleased him to know he could act as a man should act, it saddened him somehow to realise that no one expected him to do that.
‘And the other reason?’ she asked, breaking into his reverie. ‘Has that faded away?’ Neither from her words nor her tone could he tell if she would be pleased or not by the answer he gave.
‘I still want you, Catriona. God forgive me, I want you as I have not wanted a woman before.’ It was the truth.
She trembled, then, at his words. Could she tell he would have stripped off her clothing and carried her to the bed if she but gave the word? The length of his shirt and plaid covered the strength of his erection from her sight, but he felt it and knew his words were true. He’d lived in a state of constant arousal since his first sight of her at the well.
There was, though he was loathe to admit it, something more and very different about her and his need and desire for her. He’d never wanted to forgo his pleasure in the past, yet he would wait if she said he needed to. He’d never wanted to explain his actions or take responsibility for them, yet she made him want to take the right path. Now, more than before, he would do what he needed to do to see things right by her.
‘But I will wait until you give the word. I know you mourn and you are ashamed. I know this is unexpected....’
‘It is too big,’ she said, pushing up to stand. He moved back to give her room.
‘So only the size of it matters, then?’ Another time, another woman would have heard the innuendo in his words, but not now and not Cat. ‘No matter. It is yours to do whatever you wish to with. Sell it. Give it. Live in it. The choice is yours. Sign it or not—just live here and make it your own.’ He turned to face her as she paced along the hearth. ‘I just wanted to make things better for you.’
‘And for you, my lord? Is this not about having a house where you can visit your leman?’ She glared at him now. ‘Tell me true, I beg you.’
He did not tell her. With just three long strides, he crossed the room and took her by her shoulders, drawing her to him. If she’d been afraid, he would never have done such, but there was no fear in her gaze. Staring at her mouth, he wondered if she would slap him this time.
He slid his arms around her and possessed her mouth with his. She tasted sweet, her mouth hot as she opened for him, hot as he plunged his tongue deep inside her. Aidan slipped his hands up to her head, tangling them in her hair and holding her mouth to his. Over and over, he kissed her, needing and wanting to be deeper inside her and letting his tongue do what his cock wanted to do.
She gasped for breath against his mouth when he lifted it from her and they shared the same air, their panting breaths echoing in the silence of the room. When he regained control, control that was stretched to nearly its breaking point by this artless kiss, he stepped back. No slap this time, but when Catriona lifted her hand and touched her lips, it threatened to rip any control away.
Before he could fail in his attempt to put this in her control, Aidan walked to the door and lifted the latch, letting the cold air pass over his heated body.
‘I want you, Catriona. As my leman, as my lover—what you call it matters not to me. I want to peel through the layers you have built up to reveal the woman beneath. I want to strip you naked and have my way with you. I want you to have your way with me,’ he said, passion tightening his gut, his throat and his ballocks. ‘But it is your decision and it does not change that you own this house and receive that settlement.’
Her body shivered at his words. Good, for it told him that she was as affected as he was by the restrained passion between them. ‘That is the last time I will kiss you until you ask it of me.’ Opening the door wider, he smiled at her.
