“I do not fear you. I have not been afraid of you since the first week of your stay here.”
“Then why,” he asked in a softer voice, “do ye walk around me as though ye wait for me to strike out at ye? Ye did no’ treat me this way before we left Dunnedin, Anice, and I would ken why ye treat me differently now?”
Did he speak the truth? Did she treat him differently? Of course she did—they were married now and he was her husband. He was not the same man who had left Dunnedin.
“You are my husband now. You are not the same as before.” Saying it to him made her wince at the absurdity of it. She thought about his treatment of her and her son and realized that he had been the same kind and concerned man as before he’d left to return to the MacKillops. It was only her perception and her anticipation of the change in their roles that made her fear him.
“Have I done something to make ye believe I would turn on ye? Is there something I said that frightened ye?”
“Other than your horrible behavior last night?”
“Aye, other than that.” His mouth moved into that enticing smile that made her stomach nervous. He stepped closer to her, yet remained a few paces away. “Would it help ye to ken that I did no’ sleep with her? I was too drunk and have paid a dreadful price for my stupidity in turning to wine instead of having this talk then.”
“So, you did not have her only because you could not? Now that the effects of the wine have passed, will you turn to her once more?”
“Anice, in truth, ye are the only woman I want.”
Her breath caught and she could not think of anything to say in response to his claim. He stepped closer again.
“I have wanted ye for months now, even when I never dreamed it would be possible. And now that you are my wife, I find that I dinna want to face the rest of our lives with only part of ye.”
“I told you, Robert....”
“I ken what ye said, but yer lips say something different to me when we kiss. Yer gaze is always on me, I can feel it when we are in the same place. I ken that ye are confused, Anice. Just say ye will let me try?”
Oh, how she wanted to give over to him. A part of her that had been buried deep inside was pushing for release. There was fear, fear of pain, fear of rejection, but there was a glimmer of hope and a glimmer of the passion that had lain dormant within her for years. She’d felt it once for the impostor; it had driven her to sneak into his room and offer herself to him. ’Twas only his self-control that had prevented a catastrophe that night. And the feelings, the heat, the passion lay waiting for the right man.
Could it be Robert? Was she strong enough to conquer the fear and take what he offered to her now? A true union, as Lady Margaret had said.
“I am terrified at the thought of it, Robert,” she admitted. “I do not know if I can be a wife to you in this way.”
He held out his hand to her and smiled. “Just take my hand and say ye will try. ’Tis all I ask, Anice. Just that ye be willing to try.”
Her hand moved on its own for she had surely not made up her mind to agree to this. But once she saw his face brightenat the sight of her hand moving, she could not, would not stop it. The least she owed him for all he had done for her and her son was an honest effort on her part. She’d trusted him with her life countless times, could she not trust him with her body now?
Her body shook as he took the final step towards her. Lifting her chin, he leaned down and touched his lips to hers. The same heat that happened with his kisses burned inside her again. Waves of fire pulsed within her and the feel of his tongue against hers made something tighten deep inside her core. With every movement, his mouth caused the heat to increase until she thought she could not take any more. When he lifted his mouth from hers, she knew she wanted even more.
His eyes were glazed and she could feel that his body was ready, and yet he did not throw himself at her as Sandy had done. She found it difficult to breathe at a normal pace.
“I want so much to touch ye. May I?” He watched her and waited, not moving until she gave him the permission he sought. His voice, now husky and deep, enticed her further. She nodded her head and closed her eyes.
His mouth covered her again and as his kiss deepened, she felt his hands glide through her hair. It was thrilling in an unexpected way and it was the last place she thought he’d touch. In a way she was disappointed that he had not touched the place she thought he would first—her breasts. They ached and swelled, almost as though she was ready to nurse, but she knew this was different. His fingers combed down through her hair and she found it strangely exciting to feel the pull on her scalp. Just when her knees felt as though they would collapse, he stopped and looked at her.
“Are ye afraid? May I kiss ye again?”
“Aye. Nay.” She heard the nervousness as she laughed. “I mean, I am not afraid.” She did not know they could laugh while doing this and it felt good to do so. “Please, please kiss me again.”
Robert leaned down but she met his mouth this time, eager to taste him the way he had tasted her. He was close enough for her to feel his body surge each time she slipped her tongue into his mouth. It was a heady, powerful feeling toknow she affected him this way. She was so intent on his mouth that she nearly jumped when his hands glided over her shoulders, pushing her woolen shawl down her arms. Then she felt his fingers trace her collarbone and his thumbs moved down onto her breasts, tickling and teasing them as he went. The intensity of his touch on her nipples was almost painful and she drew in a breath as he moved over them.
“Not good?” he asked, lifting his lips from hers just enough for the words to fit through.
“Nursing makes them ache,” she whispered back.
“But no’ here?” He touched under her breast. “Or here?” He rolled his fingers around the fullness of her and drew circles around them.
The tingling grew until she knew her breasts were swelling in his hands. His touch was stirring sensations within her that she did not know existed. She arched towards him, increasing the contact between them and bringing her closer to the hardness of him. She raised her hands to his shoulders to keep him close.
He lifted his mouth from hers and traced the same path over her neck and shoulders, however this time he used his tongue instead of fingers. Hot and burning against her skin, it moved down and down as he unlaced her gown. She thought he meant to touch her breasts in the same way, but he stopped for just a moment between them and looked at her. She could hardly breathe or focus her eyes on him; the feelings that rampaged through her made concentration so difficult. She let her head roll back as heat exploded inside of her.
