Robert stopped and looked at her. “Are ye certain ye understood this? Are ye certain that this is a deed done and no’ some idea being chased around?”
Part of her wanted to scream in disbelief. Did he think she was some lackwit who could not follow a discussion?
“’Tis difficult indeed to misunderstand when someone tells you that you are to be sold to the highest bidder and you must leave your son behind when you go.” Her voice rose in exasperation, “Even some dim-witted man would have no problem with such a thing.”
His chagrined look tempered her anger. Then she realized she was yelling at the one man who could help her. She held her head in her hands and waited, hoping some of the throbbing and dizziness would lessen. It did not.
“I beg your pardon, Robert. And the answer is aye, Struan said that these negotiations are already under way.” She closed her eyes once more and leaned back against the tree, willingunsuccessfully that the pain would lessen.
“What help do ye think I can give ye, Anice? Yer own father and yer father-by-marriage seek out this alliance.” He looked at her, expressionless. She did not know how he felt about this. Would he help?
“I am running away.”
His mouth dropped open in shock and for a moment they just stared at each other. Then he began to laugh, in deep loud guffaws that filled the air. Craig stirred a bit and then went back to sleep. Finally Robert stopped and looked at her again.
“Women like ye do no’ run away.”
She stiffened at his words. “Women like me?”
“Aye, my Lady Anice. Ye were married to the next MacKendimen laird and ye gave birth to another. Ye are highborn and valuable. And ye carried Struan’s heir away from Dunnedin? Ye think he’ll no’ come looking for ye?”
“He never sought his son’s killer. Why would he seek us?”
Robert stared at her without answering and she read in his own eyes the same doubts about Sandy’s death that she had. Never had a word been spoken of it between them, but doubts about the circumstances were there.
“Just because of that—ye took his grandson and his only heir. He will follow ye to the ends of the earth to regain Craig. And he may verra well kill ye for doing it.”
The blood left her face and she swayed, putting her hands on the ground to keep from falling. His words terrified her. Did she really face death if and when Struan found her? She had not considered that possibility because she thought that if she found Robert, she could convince him to help her.
“Please help me,” she whispered.
He walked over and crouched down next to her. Lifting her chin with his hand, he forced her to look at him.
“The only way I can help ye is to return ye to Dunnedin and help ye come up with a tale about yer leaving that is no’ so far-fetched that Struan canna find some way to believe it.”
She shook her head. That could not be the only way out of this.
“If ye make this into some foolish woman’s fear, Struanmay be convinced to allow it to pass wi’out further punishment.”
“This cannot be the only way. Robert, I cannot lose my child. I cannot!”
He stood and walked away, remaining some yards away from her while staring off into the forest. He was thinking, she could see that in his expression. He talked without facing her.
“Then ye must negotiate for yerself. Even as ye beg forgiveness for this lapse in judgment and swear to be a dutiful daughter and wife to the MacLaren heir, set yer own terms. Since boys are fostered out anyway, ask that he be with ye until that time. Struan can send someone as a guardian for the boy to live with ye and see to Craig’s upbringing and care.”
“But I am his mother, I will see to—”
“As a woman, ye have no standing when it comes to this.”
His words took her breath away. No standing? She had carried and borne him, almost at the cost of her own life, and she had no say?
“Anice, I ken this is no’ what ye wanted to hear but this is the only thing ye can do.” He finally looked over at her.
“I cannot marry him.”
There. It was out. She’d spoken the words that showed her true fear. It wasn’t about losing the babe. She would lose her son as Robert described in a few years anyway. As the heir, he would be sent to the home of one of Struan’s allies to grow and learn and forge relationships and bonds among that clan. The basic terror for her was once again being under the control of a husband.
She had just accustomed herself to the freedom she thought she’d earned as a widow. Now, the life that she thought lay before her was gone and another one, not of her choosing, faced her.
