Robert backed up a few steps and held out his hands to wave her off from her intention, but Anice was not paying attention to him. A moment later he found a squirming bundle of babe in his hands. Craig, who had just found comfort in his mother’s arms, decided he did not like teetering in Robert’s hands and let out a yelp as he sought a more comfortable position. Afraid he would drop the babe on the ground, Robert began to shift his hands beneath the small body, trying to get a better hold of him. He was met by Anice’s laughter.
“Nay, Robert. You must support his head and the rest of him, too. Like this,” she said as she guided his hands into a better hold.
The bairn did not like it any more than he did and let his mother and all those within the yards know it with his scream. Finally taking pity on both of them, Anice lifted the babe into her arms and placed him on her shoulder, patting his bottom and doing that soft cooing again. She looked around them and walked off in the direction of a patch of shade nearby. He followed, still wondering at her reason for asking him to meet.
Sitting on the ground, she laid the babe down on the plaid she used as a sling. Robert remained standing next to them, watching the men in the yard, though he would rather havebeen staring at this new Anice.
“They’re to marry,” Anice said. Robert followed her gaze and saw her maid, Firtha, walking with the eldest of the blacksmith MacInnis brothers. “Ramsey asked her months ago, but she told him she would wait until the babe came.” A sigh of frustration and something else escaped her. “Now, they make their plans.”
He was puzzled by her reaction. “Is there some problem with them marrying?”
“Oh, nay, Robert. She came with me from my home already widowed. I doubted she ever thought to marry again until Ramsey began wooing her. I wish them both much happiness.” Her words may have said it, but there was no warm wish for happiness in them.
“But that is not what you wanted to talk about, is it?” He decided to wait no longer.
“I have not had the opportunity to thank you properly for your help with Craig’s birth.” She paused and looked up at him. “Not many know the extent of your help, so I did not speak of it within. But I know that you saved my life and my son’s that night.” Her words now were filled with emotion.
He crouched down closer to them. “I did nothing that anyone would not have done to help.”
What could he say? He had thought about that night and his actions over and over since it happened. He truly did only what he knew was needed. He only realized the irony of his actions later. But he believed that even if he’d had word of Sandy’s death ahead of time, he could not have done anything differently. Robert knew deep in his heart that he had separated Anice the woman from Anice his brother’s wife even before that night. And, although he might have hated his brother for all he had within the clan, Robert did not feel the same about Anice. He would have done anything to save her. In the end, he could only nod at her words of thanks.
“I do not remember much of that night beyond the pain and fear, but Firtha and Ada, before she returned to Dunbarton, both sang your praises.” She reached out and laid her hand on his knee. “Thank you, Robert. For being there, when and where most men would never be. And for what you did.”
A shock moved through him as he realized this was the first time she had ever touched him of her own accord. The hairs on his thigh tingled as her hand rested there. Other parts of him also reacted to the touch, parts best not involved in thoughts of his sister-by-marriage. He stood and her hand dropped to her lap.
“Ye are most welcome, my... Anice.”
Even as he stumbled yet again over her name and title, he thought that maybe it would be best to keep clearly in mind those things in their lives which separated them. She was a lady, the daughter of one earl, the daughter-by-marriage to another, and mother to one who would be as well, when her son inherited the title. He was the bastard half-brother to her dead husband. She would always be the Lady Anice and he would be the outcast.
’Twas better to know his place in all this than to let himself hope once again for more than his father was willing to allow him. But, instead of her recovery and expected return to her duties overseeing the clan cheering him, it made it clear that his departure was nearer at hand than he would like.
“If that is all...?” He saw that his coldness hurt her feelings but it would be easier this way for all concerned. “I will take my leave then. I have many duties to see to before dinner.” He nodded at her and turned without hesitation.
A clean break, a quick retreat would be the wisest course. But could he do it? Could he push her away even as his heart and his body wanted to pull her close and hold her forever? The irony was not lost on him this time either, for now that Struan had set things in motion for his departure, he had found reasons to stay.
Anice. His brother’s wife.
She closedher eyes and lifted her face to the rays of the sun that streamed through gaps in the shady canopy of the tree.
The clan’s life went on around her as she sat and enjoyed her few moments of rest. The piglet, her son, she thought with a deep sense of fulfillment, slept next to her, blissfully unawareof anything save that his belly was filled. Letting the cool breeze move over her, Anice sat and listened to the activity around even as she tried to discern when she had insulted Robert.
Only bits and pieces of memory existed in her mind about those nights and days. The words through the panel in the workroom had seeped into her consciousness before she ever really heard them and the next thing she remembered was standing in the great hall challenging Struan. A thick darkness covered her memories from then on, as if she were looking through a heavy fog at the people around her. Struan’s voice—or was it Robert’s?—promising something... she could not hear the words now but the feelings in those words reassured her. Firtha, Ada, Rachelle, they were there too, caring for her and the babe.
The one occurrence that was clear as the crystal goblets she’d brought with her in her dowry was Robert’s face as he turned the babe within her. Although she surely would rather not have been awake during that painful and embarrassing process, she could even now see that same fierce determination on his face that he’d worn when she witnessed his fight with Brodie. But, when directed at her, his efforts were gentled and his touch careful and measured. And successful. She opened her eyes now and glanced down to check the babe who was making sucking sounds even now in his sleep. The wee piglet.
So, how had she insulted Robert when she’d meant to express her undying gratitude for his actions? Was he angered by her delay in speaking to him? Surely, he knew how near to death she had been that night. And how long her travel back from death’s door had taken. ’Twas just yesterday that she took over the full nursing of her son. And just three days past since she ventured into the yard and bailey outside the walls of the keep.
She had tried to look for him several times but when she did come down those few times for meals in the great hall, he was elsewhere. Robena the whore’s name had been whispered about and she decided she would ask no further about him or his whereabouts. And Struan had warned her that, following his involvement in her son’s birth, for her to seek him out orspend more time with him than their duties demanded would be extremely inappropriate, especially considering their different stations in life. And there was the fact that men simply did not take part in the process of birthing a bairn, let alone reaching in there to pull one out. She shivered, the tremors making gooseflesh rise on her arms. No, men did not. But Robert had and she thanked God for it every morn and eve in her prayers.
So, what had she said? She thought over her words and then remembered touching his leg as she spoke. The heat of a blush moved up through her face and she touched the warmth in her cheeks as she realized she had placed her hand on his knee. Part of her was horrified at her action and another part was elated. Anice knew that her touch had been an innocent one, to emphasize her words of thanks. But not long ago such an expression would never have happened—it would have required her deliberate action and she simply would not have done so.
But that Anice was gone. She had faced death twice and survived and that knowledge alone gave her the strength to live and change. Gone was the fear that she’d lived under for the last two years, since Sandy returned the first time for their marriage. She had lived for a year with the fear of what was to come and then these last months trying to recover from it. Then she almost lost her life and her bairn when news of Sandy’s return and then his death reached Dunnedin.
She was lucky to be alive and as she let out more of the old Anice, the Lady Anice as she called herself to Robert, she found she could enjoy life again. Smiling and laughing had become part of her once more. She grinned as she even remembered raising her voice this last week to several of the servants. But far from being bothered by it, they looked surprised then beamed at her reprimand. It felt good to be free of fear.
Anice leaned down and adjusted the covering over Craig, tucking the loosened end under him to hold him secure and keep him warm. Even on a summer’s day, the air was chilly here. Smoothing down his little crest of red hair, she touched a soft kiss on his forehead.
“I will take care of you and your clan, my weeMacKendimen,” she whispered. “At least until your own wife is chosen and begins her duties.”
