A few of the older women looked on him with disgust, as though they thought the same thing. They shook their heads and tsked at him as he passed them.
The worst were those who’d grown close to Arabella during her stay here. The ones she’d worked with and helped. The men who she had cared for when injured. Magnus, Margaret and Bradana were the worst of all. For it was not disgust, but for the first time, disappointment that filled their gazes.
And, as he walked the camp, helping with packing supplies and loading the few carts and wagons they had, he never once saw her. Somehow he’d expected her to be defiant and proclaim her righteousness. Or to be in the middle of things, helping Margaret. Instead, she’d disappeared. Since Rob and the other guards did not raise an alarm, he knew she was here somewhere.
* * *
His first true inkling that anything was amiss was the bowl of porridge that was to be their noon meal. Dark, blackened clumps of some inedible substance sat in his bowl instead of the creamy, smooth porridge he expected. When he took a mouthful of ale to wash it down, he found that it was mostly water.
He blamed it on the conditions in the camp. For in their rushing to pack and prepare, food sometimes overcooked or burned, and ale and water skins were confused.
* * *
Then there was the evening meal. Everyone served themselves from the large pot of stew, but when Brodie dipped the ladle in all he found was the dried-out, burned-on layer at the bottom. When he looked around to see if others had none, they’d all walked away. He sought out Margaret, knowing that she would be quite frank with him if she was angry with him.
‘What is the meaning of this?’ he asked, holding out the bowl of the burned stew scraps for her to see.
‘You must have been late in getting to the stew pot,’ she retorted without looking.
‘What did she say?’ he asked, not intending to dawdle around, pretending not to know who was the person at the centre of this small rebellion of sorts.
‘She? Do you mean the lady?’ Margaret said, facing him with her hands on her hips. ‘Do you mean the lady whose virginity you took?’ she whispered furiously. ‘And without a care today of her condition?’ Margaret glared at him and crossed her arms over her ample chest. ‘That lady said nothing. She has not mentioned your name or what transpired between you.’
He’d not thought about her since he’d left the cave this morn. He was not a man to mistreat a woman who’d shared his bed and yet he’d not given any consideration to her comfort or discomfort on the day after he’d taken her body in so many ways he had lost count of it all. She had not stopped him from doing whatever he wanted to do, in spite of being a virgin.
‘Oh, aye, now you think about it,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘A bit late.’
But now he knew it was all part of her plan to help Alan.
‘You do not know what she did.’
Margaret was in his face, tapping her finger into his chest to make her point. ‘I know what she did. We all know. And we all know what you did.’ She stepped back and glanced down at his groin. ‘You were thinking with the wee laddie and she got the best of you.’ She laughed out. ‘Just like a man.’
‘There is more to it than that. More you do not know or understand, Margaret,’ he said.
‘I understand more than you think, Brodie. You have spent the last years not allowing a woman to get close, always ready to see to your duty to the clan. And this one, weel, you did not allow yourself to want her, either, believing that your cousin would win out. Now, I can see that she loves you and you love her. I can see that she had to make a choice she did not want to make but she made it.’
‘Margaret...’ he began to say. She put her hand up between them, forestalling him from speaking.
‘You have not told her, have you? You are more fool than I thought you to be,’ she said, shaking that same finger at him.
‘’Tis an impossible situation for us, Margaret. You know that. I know it and so does the lady.’
‘You let your duty stand between you so you do not have to take the step you should. And that’s even more reason to make sure she knows how you feel. Love does not come our way often and it is not something you give up, Brodie. Say the words. Let her leave and go to her duty knowing the truth in your heart, in spite of your stupid actions and pride.’
He shook his head and looked up at the sky in frustration. Until Margaret took his arm and tugged on it to gain his attention.
‘The words, Brodie. If I could have one moment to say them again to Conall, I would pay whatever price was asked.’ She looked away then and he knew tears were gathering. He’d so rarely seen this strong woman brought to tears that he was surprised. ‘Give her that much. So that in the dark days to come, she will have your words to hold close in her heart. So that she knows her gift to you was honoured.’
And the dark days were coming. For good or bad, he would step out of exile and present his evidence. There would be no grey, shadowed result—it would be black or white, good or bad, life or death. He nodded then.
‘I will think about your counsel, Margaret,’ he said. She cursed under her breath, but he thought she might have cursed the wee laddie as well as the rest of him, too. He turned to walk away and realised he’d not asked about Arabella. ‘How does she fare?’
‘Well,’ she said. ‘She fares well, which is more than you deserve to know.’
He walked off then with Margaret still speaking her mind. But he did hear the last thing she said before she stopped.
‘Do not wait, Brodie. There is little time.’
