“It matters not,” she whispered. “The results were terrible. He boasted to one of Connor’s men and we were brought to Connor to answer for our actions.” She closed her eyes that second and he knew she was reliving her shame.
“What did Connor do?” Jamie was fascinated by how the powerful earl approached problems and solved them. Ruthless, but not mean-spirited. Intelligent, but practical. A good laird and man.
“When it was clear that a marriage was not possible, Connor erased what had happened. The man was banished from any MacLerie lands as well as Connor’s allies, even some of his enemies for fear of antagonizing him, too. The only people who knew about it—my parents, the man who’d heard the boast and me—were warned never to speak of it again.”
She met his gaze then and he knew the worst was yet to come. Shifting on the stool, he held out his hand to her and she sat next to him on the ground, not looking at him. He tangled his fingers, the ones not broken, in her hair, smoothing it from her face as she spoke.
“The waiting was the worst. To see if there would be a bairn. I could not keep it, so Connor said plans would be made if there was one. I have never prayed as much as I did those weeks until my courses finally came.” She smiled softly at him then. “Well, not until these last days for you.”
“So, a youthful mistake.”
“That is what Connor called it. After some time had passed and he was certain there was no gossip about, he began allowing me to travel with Ciara. Since she was closely watched, so was I.”
“He can be a wise man.”
“Aye, he is. But when crossed, he is terrifying. And now, I have done that. I ruined his plans for Ciara’s marriage to you.”
“Elizabeth, we fell in love.”
“And tried to run away.”
“To marry, lass. An honorable estate that.”
“It only shows my weakness and my bad judgment. If I beg him, I think he will let you go.” He pushed to his feet then, straining every muscle to stand and not fall on his face once again.
“I am going to marry you, Elizabeth,” he swore, pulling her to him. “You will be my wife.” She pulled away and, damn his weakness, he could not stop her.
“I will not marry you because you think it is the only honorable way in this, Jamie. I will not let you marry me and then have to be content because it was the thing to do. I do not want contentedness between us,” she said vehemently. “I thought I did. I thought Ciara was right in that regard, that a calm, reasonable marriage was the one to pursue, but now I know I could not accept it, for you or from you.”
“I was being daft, Elizabeth. I know I do not want a contented marriage with you, either. I want a loving, screaming, fighting, greeting, making-peace, passion-filled marriage. And I want it with you and no other.” He took a step toward her, reaching out to her. “As I laid there thinking I was going to die, all I worried about was that you would never forgive me for the way I treated you. For doubting you. For doubting our love.”
She stared at his face, trying to understand his words. Why did he need to be forgiven? And how could he accept that she came to his bed used and impure? Elizabeth wiped the tears from her eyes and watched his face. She’d been a fool the first time, believing false promises and pretty words.
But this was Jamie. He was willing to lose everything for her. He suffered at her brother’s hands and did not rebuke her for it. He loved her. She loved him. It should be simple.
It was so complicated.
Loving someone as much as she loved him was complicated.
But, in the end, all it took was for her to accept the hand he held out to her and take the first step toward him. Then she was in his arms, kissing him as he kissed her back, with little regard for his bruises and cuts.
“What will we do?” she asked when she could pull herself away from his mouth.
“I think I will have to kidnap you from your brother,” he said in a low voice. “And this time we will be married before he finds us.”
“When?” she asked, happy to be kidnapped by him.
“As soon as I can ride and before Dougal can take us back to Lairig Dubh.”
Suddenly, he was sinking and she tried to grab onto him. His legs gave out and they ended up on the ground with no hope of her getting him to his feet once more. She realized he would not be able to kidnap her, nor ride for some days more.
“Only one thing,” he whispered, for Dougal and Shaw were heading toward them. “I think I will need your help when the time comes.” She frowned and shook her head, not understanding. “I do not think I can overwhelm all three of them and steal you myself. I may need your help,” he teased with the truth now.
“I would be glad to help you,” she said, laughing. Dougal and Shaw reached them and helped Jamie to his feet. He’d done too much his first time out of his pallet and it would take a toll on him now. Already he had a greenish tint in his cheeks and he stumbled as they walked him back into the croft.
She forced him to rest for a few hours knowing if he was well, he would fight it. Instead, he fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pallet. Kidnap her indeed!
Then at the evening meal, which Jamie joined them for, glancing with a question in his eyes every time he tasted something she’d cooked, Dougal announced his plans.
