Connor rose then, walked to the large window that faced the yard and stood silent for a few moments. James felt the urge to confess all manner of sins during that silence, but he held his words behind his teeth and waited on the laird. The less said, the fewer transgressions revealed.
“If you have concerns about your upcoming nuptials, just know that many marriages face less than auspicious beginnings,” he said without facing James. “My own, for example, to Lady Jocelyn.”
A subtle description for an event known across the Highlands and most of the Lowlands as well. Having had, as the story went, killed his first wife for not giving him a son, Connor MacLerie forced marriage on Jocelyn MacCallum in exchange for her brother’s life. Inauspicious would not have been the word James would choose to describe that situation, but he did not challenge Connor’s choice.
“Ciara Robertson would not seem too hard a burden for a man to bear. She is lovely, well-spoken, educated, amiable...and wealthy. Most men would fight for her hand in marriage,” Connor said as he turned to face James now. “Before you take any actions, you must be certain about the path you are taking. Have you considered the cost to your family? To your reputation? To the lass?”
Was he certain? Could he break the betrothal and face all the ramifications of that action? Would he place Elizabeth in danger of sharing whatever sanctions would face him in this? He was about to nod when the laird asked the pivotal and most revealing question of him.
“There is a woman involved?”
Could Connor read his thoughts? James had shared more details of his quandary with Lady Jocelyn but not with Connor. She’d suggested he speak with the laird to see what could be done. Dare he confess it all to the man who could destroy everything with but a word?
“Elizabeth,” James said quietly before meeting that intimidating gaze once more. Then, he said her name once more making it a declaration for the first time. “Elizabeth MacLerie.”
“Ciara’s closest friend?” Connor asked. James winced at the tone now in the laird’s voice as he nodded.
He took no pleasure in knowing that he would hurt Ciara. Truth be told, she was a fetching lass. Intelligent. Skilled in numbers and languages. Trained by the best—her stepfather—to understand financial matters. A gift to the man who would marry her. But during their journey back here to her home, back here to their wedding, his heart had been stolen by another.
Elizabeth was the perfect foil to Ciara—auburn hair to her fair, talkative to her quietude, practical to her well-schooled, and in love with him when Ciara loved another. It had taken him longer than it had taken her to realize the feelings that grew between them and the strength of those feelings. Now though, after watching the growing misery in his betrothed’s eyes as their marriage approached and knowing his own, he knew he must take action. No matter the cost.
“Aye, Ciara’s friend. Laird, it was not something we planned—”
“I did not think that,” Connor said sharply. “Elizabeth knows you are here? Speaking to me about this matter?”
Ah, therein lay the problem—he had not consulted Elizabeth yet. They’d spoken of their feelings in hushed tones during the dark of night when they could manage some time together. Or other times during the journey here. He had not pulled his courage together until this morn, with the wedding swiftly approaching.
“I...” He could not think of how to answer. Connor held up his hand to stop him.
“I cannot make this decision for you and will not make it easy for you to do so, either,” Connor said as he sat once more. “There will be problems, serious and possibly deadly effects of choosing to ignore your duty to your family and to your honor, James. If my softhearted wife led you to believe I would support you in this, you should know that she was mistaken.”
James’s stomach clenched at the strong words in spite of having considered all those things before stepping foot in this chamber. The lady’s words had sounded promising, or mayhap he had simply heard what he wanted to hear?
“Other men have faced this same conundrum and made their own choices—as you must.”
Connor stood and strode to the door of his chamber. The discussion was done. Connor MacLerie, the MacLerie and the Earl of Douran, had heard him out and would do no more. James wondered, though...
“Will you speak of this to my parents?” he asked.
“What would I tell them? You came seeking my counsel. No more, no less.”
With nothing more to say, James left the chamber. He had duties to see to and things to accomplish, but more than that, he had a decision to make. As he left the keep and considered his next step, he knew his mind and his decision had been made already.
Now, if only Elizabeth would agree.
Chapter Two
Elizabeth MacLerie paced the small clearing, trying to sort out her feelings and thoughts over the matter of her and James. The guilt in her heart grew each time she looked at him and thought of her closest friend. So much so that she considered going to speak to Father Micheil and confess sins of pride and, worse, coveting and lust, to the holy man. Pushing her hair over her shoulder, she glanced once again down the path for James.
The scene she’d interrupted yesterday had given her, and her desire for him, pause—it was difficult to watch him embrace and kiss the woman he would marry, especially when that woman was not her, but was her best friend, Ciara. If not for the sadness and guilt in his eyes when their gazes met, she would have refused this meeting. She would have accepted that she would have to force the soft feelings from her heart. He’d begged her to hear him out and so she would. Even if it was the end of her dreams.
They were, the three of them, in a terrible situation where none would end up happy, but where all must carry out their part for the sake of their families and their honor. Ciara, she knew, loved Tavis, but would marry James because of the benefits it would bring to both of their families. James, if his words were true, loved her, but must marry Ciara for the same reasons—family and honor. She loved both her friend and James, and must stand by and watch them wed and face a life of misery watching them make a life together.
It was a hopeless situation that would lead them all to an unhappy life.
She turned at the sound of leaves crunching underfoot and found James there, standing in the shade of a tall tree and staring at her. The serious expression on his face lightened for a brief moment as their gazes met but was back in place when he reached her side. Elizabeth’s knees trembled and breathing became difficult as she faced the end of things between them.
James took her hand and lifted it to his mouth, kissing the inside of her wrist and sending shivers through her whole body. She, the one who had counseled Ciara against the need for feeling such things, now fell victim to every sensation that raced through her skin and her blood. He placed another kiss in her palm before entwining their fingers and tugging her along to follow him deeper into the cover of the forest.
