“And you still wish to marry me?” she asked. For was that not the primary question to voice?
“I gave you my word when we made our plans to leave Lairig Dubh. I will not go back on that even now.”
Was her heart bleeding? The piercing pain caused by his lack of enthusiasm and tone of entrapment took her breath away. Unable to speak, almost unable to remain upright, his truth tore her apart. He would marry her because he’d given his word. In spite of her lack of virginity and deception, he would continue in their bargain because he’d given his word. After breaking it with Ciara, she knew him well enough to know he would not do that again. But, where were the soft words of yesterday? The pledges of love and hope and a life together?
She really had no right to disagree, so she sat behind him holding on to the edge of the saddle to balance and barely touching him, as he guided the horse to the main pathway and they continued on their journey. He was once more trapped in a marriage bargain because he needed to do the right thing by her. But this time, she’d been the cause of it and would not be his escape but his captor.
James heard the pain in her voice and felt it in her body as she sat behind him, stiff as a fence post. Had she thought he would disavow her? Had she thought they would have an ugly, angry confrontation over her lack of virginity? Part of him did want that, that primitive part he buried deep inside and controlled and had planned it when he’d asked the question of her. The part more like these Highland warriors than the Scottish nobleman he was raised to be.
She had given herself to a man before him.
Had she loved that man before him? If so, why was she not married to him? How had he not heard of her disgrace? Or had she managed to keep her fall a secret?
This, he realized, was what came from living for passion and making decisions based on lust and love rather than calm, rational discussions and reasons. He’d broken the code he’d lived by and now he would pay the price for such arrogance and bad judgment.
He shifted and glanced back at her to see how she fared this morn. James had not noticed her moving with any obvious pain or discomfort and she’d given no sign that he’d hurt her when he’d bedded her. Remembering for a moment the sheer pleasure of their joining, he tried to understand why she’d lied to him.
Was her past experience the reason for her enjoyment of the physical pleasure between them?
Now her acceptance of his touches and caresses took on a new meaning. Did she compare him to whomever she had in her bed before him? Did she regret what they had done? She’d never paused or shown any reticence in the act or anything he’d done. Would she be so at ease in bed if she’d been forced in the past? Was that how she lost her virtue?
That would explain some of his confusion, for why would Ciara remain friends with a woman who had no honor? Why would Connor allow her to remain in Lairig Dubh if she brought shame on her family? She would have been sent away if this had happened in his family. So, why did Connor allow her to stay?
If she had told him the truth, told him of her lack of virtue, would he have pledged his love or promised to marry her? Would he have risked everything—family, fortune and future—to be with her? Would he have fallen in love with her? At this moment, he just did not know. And at this very moment, she could be carrying his child which gave him fewer choices.
She sighed then, a soft sound he doubted she even was aware of, but he heard it. His body heard it and he fought to keep the desire he had for her, even now knowing what he did, under control. Until they cleared things up between them—though he was not certain he wanted to learn the details of her past—he would not lie with her. It might be too late to turn back, but it was not too late to try to gain some honesty between them.
The sun broke through the clouds then, promising an easier path this day. Pushing off the doubts and the questions, he took the road’s measure and decided they could safely ride faster.
“Hold onto to me, Elizabeth,” he said over his shoulder. “We must ride faster to make up some of the distance.”
Elizabeth said nothing but he felt her arms encircle his waist and her hands take hold of his cloak. And the way her breasts, those wonderful, sensitive, responsive breasts that had risen to tight peaks in his hands, pressed into his back. His cock rose until it nearly reached where she rested her hands. If she moved them a slight bit, she would touch him there. He shuddered at the thought, causing her to shift against him.
It was heaven and hell all in the same moment.
They traveled as long as they could, stopping only twice to refresh themselves. If they ran into more storms, they would be forced to delay locating Father Ceallach another night. James had no doubt that they would be pursued at some point—one did not break with the Earl of Douran on his own lands and not answer for it. So, each delay could be the one that allowed their plans to be thwarted.
Due to his unfamiliarity with the lands here, he’d overestimated the distance and the time needed to reach the village and the priest. It was midafternoon when they reached the first of the village buildings—a smithy from the sound and smell of it.
There would be time enough to stop at the inn for a true meal and to buy some necessities before seeking out the good father and finishing this escapade. Then they could begin the marriage based on deception and dishonor.
Dougal and the men reached the peak of what should be the last hill before reaching the road that James must have taken with his sister. It was the only road into the village to the south and then through onto Glasgow. And just beyond the village lay the old priest’s dwelling and small chapel.
Their luck had held for the storms that had plagued the land all of the day before, had broken apart in the skies above and eventually the nearly full moon’s light showed the way. Stopping only to relieve themselves, they ate or drank as they needed while they rode, intent on stopping the Murrays’ heir from taking advantage of his sister and to return him to face the earl’s justice in the matter. They could rest once he was their prisoner.
Niall spied the shieling just before they reached it, for it was hidden from above by the turf roof and the way it was built into the side of the hill. That protected it from the worst of the winds and created a small, sheltered place where animals could be covered. As they pulled to a halt, Shaw pointed out the tree that had burned, struck by lightning most likely.
The shieling looked undisturbed and his hope that they would catch the two inside faded as he untied the rope and pulled the door open. It was empty. Dougal walked inside, waving off the others, and he took in all the signs of a recent use. What struck him as he had pulled open the door was the unmistakable, musky odor of sex.
Christ! The man had already taken Elizabeth. He was too late to save her from shame. He kicked the stool near his feet, sending it crashing into the wall. It was not as satisfying as he’d hoped. But, he would get satisfaction when they caught up with the pair. Young James Murray would pay.
He strode out and mounted his horse. They were on the right path and would catch up with them. He only hoped it was before they reached the priest and made this man’s crime into something too difficult to correct. Dougal motioned to Niall and Shaw and they rode down to the packed dirt path...and on toward the village and his sister.
Chapter Eight
Elizabeth pulled another piece off the roasted quail and put it on her wooden trencher. She did not realize how hungry she was until the innkeeper’s wife began putting plates on their table. The bird, a thick stew of mutton and vegetables, another with cheese and bread. All smelled delicious and could not be resisted after the plain oatcakes of this morn.
A younger woman, mayhap the innkeeper’s daughter, hovered around Jamie, filling his cup with ale as soon as he drank some and offering him whatever he needed. It did not take too much thinking to understand what she offered and only after several dark glares did the girl go away and tend to others.
