She returned a while later and got her cloak and reticule and had Poogan call for a hack. Over his objections to traveling about the city in such a vehicle when her perfectly fine carriage could be readied quickly, Clare climbed into the nondescript coach and went to the one place she needed to see to break from her past.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The key wasalways with her. Whether at the school or at home or even when she was out, it was a reminder to her of promises made and promises broken. Now though, she understood it was the obstacle to the rest of her life. The hack dropped her in the alley between the two large warehouses where a smaller, less obvious door would allow her entrance.
With the key in her pocket.
Unless Iain or his man had had the locks changed. She smiled when the key turned and the door opened.
Hearing nothing that would indicate men were working inside, she stepped within and closed the door behind her. Even though she walked quietly towards the center of the huge building, her strides echoed in the cavernous space. Clare glanced around, remembering the changes, the renovations, that were planned to change this one empty place into a place of training, education and safety for as many young men, and young women in the other building, as they could fit.
Walking around the perimeter, she could hear their discussions as each person gave their opinions on what was necessary. Of how they could raise enough funds to support it as an ongoing project after she paid for the initial development. Peter and Georgina planning what the classrooms would need and how many teachers they would hire if they could. The tradesmen and women who would train the students in skills that would get the jobs giving their ideas of how and when that part of the plan would happen. The architects stammering over her constant demands for improvement of the plans. The solicitors patiently explaining how each change would delay the approvals, never realizing that someone else was actually doing that.
As she walked along, lost in the past, Clare noticed that the building had been cleaned out. No piles of trash or unused slats or other construction materials. There was no sign of any construction yet, but having heard Iain’s plans and knowing how long he’d waited for these Clare knew it would begin sooner rather than later. The scratch of boots on the rough floor made her turn.
“I thought you might be here.” Iain stood in the shadows near the door she’d entered. “You kept the key.” He nodded at her hand. Clare still carried the key in her hand.
“Aye.”
He took a few paces bringing him close to her. She held out the key to him and dropped it in his hand when he lifted his hand in front of him.
“I wondered if you’d resorted to a strategically twisted hair pin or two.” He came closer.
“Do they actually work?”
“Aye, if one has learned how to do it.” He glanced around the structure, and she noticed he was dressed just as he had been the day he stormed into her life—all in black now. No walking stick this time. No hat.
“And you know how?” Clare knew the answer without him saying it. The glint in his eyes and the lift of that corner of his mouth told her he did and that he was good at it. She took in an uneven breath and knew she must leave. Leave this place. Leave him. The question was out before she could stop it. “When do you start...?”
“The preliminary work, the planning reports and the surveys have been done and submitted.”
“Ah. The planning council meeting you mentioned.”
She took one more look around and turned to leave. In a way it was better that her temple to Jonathan’s memory and his legacy would not be here. Clare would build a school in his memory, but now it was more about her need to break from the lies she’d lived than to keep his, their, sainted memory.
“A lesser man might have been alarmed when the woman he loves runs, literally runs, from his declaration to her.”
“Iain.”
“Clare.”
“Maybe if you told me what happened between you and the sainted Jonathan Logan, I would understand.” She stared at his bold question. “All I have heard from everyone who knows you, from the reports Cairns... from reports and even gossip, speak of your devotion to each other, your absolute love for each other. That you gave up your world to be with him and the two of you had a marriage unlike anything in polite society.”
All the lies she’d lived so easily exposed in his words. Oh, she knew Cairns gathered whatever information he could before Iain began his approach. Chalmers had done it for her, but apparently Iain protected his secrets with more vigor than she had. The stakes were so much higher for him, of course.
And yet, she could not say the words that would insult Jonathan. They had loved. They had done wonderful things to help the less fortunate. They had...
“None of this, none of my fight to keep these properties was actually done for him,” she said. “I did it because of my guilt and failure.” He looked askew at her, confusion in his eyes. “I told myself that he offered me everything I dreamt about as a lass—a man who valued my opinion, who loved me and wanted me as an equal partner in his life and in his business and charitable pursuits.”
“And he did not?”
“It was all such a romantic dream, but nay, he wanted a well-bred wife who would know her place and take it. After the excitement of standing up to my father and feeling so very brave and powerful even, things changed. He changed. Well, if truth be told, I just did not see him—I saw what I wanted.”
“Clare, you were young—”
“And foolish and headstrong and unwilling to accept that my marriage and my life was not what I’d left my family and society for. Once I’d thrown my life into a whirlwind of defiance and ultimatums, I could not admit it. And as I demanded he honor our partnership, he—”
“Began asserting his power.”
