“Tell me what ye have done, Iain.” Her words were calmer than he thought they’d be. As he looked at the lady, he realized that Robena could have no better protector than her.
“I asked her to marry me, Anice. Plain and simple,” he explained.
“Nothing men do is ever simple,” she muttered.
“Anice, I kenned he was going to do this,” Rob said. “I did not think it such a bad thing for Robena.”
The lady, always so gentle and kind, looked as though she was going to kill someone. For a moment, he thought her husband would be the target, but when she turned her gaze on him, Iain thought again.
“I love the lass, Anice.” Sometimes, the truth was the best defense, and it seemed to soften the lady’s resistance.
“Does she ken that, Iain?”
“Aye, I told her. But she doesna believe it. She doesna believe she can be loved or can live a different life than the one she has.”
“And if she refuses yer offer? What will ye do then?”
Anice watched him closely while her own husband stood there at her side. Aye, Robena could have no better people watching out for her than these two.
Unless it was him.
“I have given her the chance to think on it. Then I will make my decision.”
“Can ye stand by if she declines and remains here as a . . . as she is?”
A whore.The lady would not speak the word, but they all understood. If Robena turned him down, she would remain here, making a living by providing pleasure to other men. Could he truly leave her here knowing that?
If he loved her, if he loved her enough, then . . .
“Aye. If it is her wish to remain here, then so be it. I just want her to have enough time to consider it.” He ran his hands through his hair and shook his head. “I did not like leaving her there alone, but Struan will not allow her here.”
“What?” Anice stood then. “I have invited her here. I have made certain she is welcome.”
“And Struan has warned her not to come. ’Tis his right as laird,” he explained to a person who understood her father-by-marriage better than anyone else did.
“That explains much. I wish she had spoken of this to me.”
“She seems to understand her place and accept it more than any of us do,” Rob said.
And that was the heart of the matter. The woman he loved accepted her place. She understood the boundaries of her life and had discovered a way to exist within them. Was that how she survived? Knowing the expectations and keeping to them?
He did not want to believe that she was happy living within those limitations. He took her recent exploration into helping the midwife and learning from Moira as a sign of some unhappiness or some unfulfilled need within her. As much as he thought she would be happy as his wife, mayhap not even loving her gave him the right to expect it of her.
“Just make certain she is well,” Iain said.
Turning away, he left the solar and made his way back to the chamber assigned to him.
He was a fool, and nothing was worse than an old fool.
He was no better than anyone else who tried to control her or bend her to his will. Worse, he was a liar as much as she was. Though he’d claimed he would allow her to do as she chose in this, in truth there would be no way he could stand by and let another man touch her. Not now.
Not again.
Good Christ, but he’d gotten himself into a quandary here. He’d thought he would come in, offer to take her away, and she would jump into his arms and be happy. He laughed then. Not Robena. She was strong enough to live life, even if she did not realize that it was that inner strength that kept her going.
He would go to see her on the morrow. He would say . . . something . . . that would ease his way and give her leave to ignore his offer. Not that he wanted her to refuse him. He prayed with every part of his heart and soul that she would accept it and him, but whatever happened, he would not make things worse. Well, not worse for her.
The amount of wine he’d had dragged him into a restless sleep, and he tossed and turned all night. He would wake and reach out for Robena, only to remember that he did not share her bed this night. And he did not like it.
