“You heard me,” she taunts. “Did I stutter? Seems to me you couldn’t handle the truth. You’d rather live in your web of lies because it’s safer there. Safer than taking a chance.”
“What the fuck do you know about taking chances?” I yell. “You have no idea what I have given up. What I have taken chances on. With your perfect little life in your perfect little family. Do you ever make any decisions on your own Eva, or just ride the wave of mommy and daddy’s vision for your future?”
Her hand meets my face before the sting even registers. Looking back into her eyes, they don’t even hold a small amount of concern or apology for what she’s just done. I am just about to speak when she says, “Chances? I am here now, aren’t I Noah?”
The door to the bar opens, and Jolene and Gwen make their way out into the night, snickering and whispering before they come into view. Eva’s eyes stay trained on mine.
“We’re done here,” I say, turning to leave.
“Why won’t you fight for us?” she whispers sadly.
With my hand on the door to the bar, I pause. I try to come up with an answer, but shit, I don’t know why. Between the drinks, Becky, the alleyway, and Eva’s confrontation - I can’t seem to find the words. So I answer her the only way I see logical, with a question of my own.
“When L.A. called, why wasn’t your first instinct to stay?”
Opening the door, I step back into the bar and hope she gets the hint and packs her bags and heads home. Reaching in my pocket, I pull out my phone and contact an Uber. Slipping into a nearby booth, I wait in the corner for my ride and wrestle with my demons. The ones that won’t let me fight for a woman I know I can’t live without.
Chapter Forty-Two
Eva
Swirling my spoon in the coffee cup in front of me, the chatter of the cafe is nothing compared to the constant battle going on inside my mind. I was unable to sleep a wink last night. Remembering that Jolene was opening up the diner this morning, I slipped out of my hotel room around 5 a.m. to meet her here. And here I have sat for the past two hours trying to wrap my brain around any sort of way I might be able to work things out between me and Noah.
I’ve already come this far. I am not leaving until he tells me it’s really over. If last night was any indication, it is far from over. If he won’t fight for us, it’s a good thing I’m fueled and driven with every intention of not only fighting for both of us, but winning.
Jolene laughs across the counter with one of the locals. No doubt a regular on her shift. She takes their order and then hangs it up in the window for the kitchen. Turning, she meets my eye with a sympathetic smile before grabbing the nearby coffee pot and making her way over to the booth I’ve been sulking away in.
“Need a warm up?” she asks, though she doesn’t wait for a response and goes ahead and fills my cup. Setting the pot on the table, she sits down in the seat across from me and waits for me to look up. “He can really be a stubborn ass,” Jolene says when I finally glance her way. “Even with all that baggage, I would have thought he’d have somewhat given in by now.”
Remembering our exchange in the dark alley, I blush as I look away over the street not wanting to give myself away. Oh, he gave in, for a brief second to let me know there just might be a chance after all. But is that a chance he is willing to take? That something that still needs to be settled.
“I think seeing you and Becky in one place last night was a little more than he could handle, that’s all,” she tries to assure me, but I just shake my head.
“What exactly happened to him, Jolene?” I ask. “I mean, if I’m going to fight for us, I need to know. I need to be able to understand what I am up against.”
She looks at me, and for a second I swear she just might tell me. Shaking her head, she looks away. “He needs to be the one to tell you that.”
“And what if he never does? What if all of this is for nothing? I never said Goodbye. He did. He left without a word and sent me a damn note. Who does that?”
“A man who is running from a past you don’t understand.”
“Exactly! So, help me,” I plead.
“Noah was engaged before. Did you know that?” Jolene asks.
Shocked, I lean back in my seat and whisper, “No, I didn’t know that.”
“We all make choices everyday, but that’s the ultimate choice in life, right? Deciding who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. Til death do you part. That sort of thing.”
I nod, as she rises from the booth and walks a few feet back around the counter across the room to set the coffee pot back on its warmer. She grabs a plate of food from the open window and delivers it to the person a few seats down. Walking back over, she takes a seat again in front of me.
“He’s a very private man, I’m not surprised he never told you. When daddy died, Noah took over the family farm. Going to school, working, and helping momma was no easy task, but he never complained. When he got a scholarship to college, he was so excited to make something of himself instead of staying in the family business of trying to sell enough tobacco to pay the bills every year, and hoping for a good crop so you can actually afford more.”
Jolene shrugs, then frowns remembering their past.
“There was one catch to his dreams,” she says. “Becky. Oh boy, did she control him worse than he would ever care to admit. And little Miss Becky was not too excited about Noah’s scholarship. You see, she liked having the attention all on herself. She couldn’t have her boyfriend off two states away. Putting a call into daddy, she connived a plan to keep him here.”
The more Jolene talks, a picture of the man I thought I knew begins to make sense. It’s as if I am finally beginning to scratch the service of what I had been fighting against for months.
