Rex shifts his weight on his feet and waits for me to continue.
“I got to give her space.” I hear myself say the words but I’d be lying if I said I believed them. “She wants other things. I heard her Rex. I will always love her. Damn it, I could never stop. But holding onto her would only be dragging her down - and hell, I love her too much to ever do that.”
“What kind of space do you have in mind?” Rex questions.
There is only one place I can go. Only one place that would not be tied to any memory of her. I don’t stand a chance of staying here and staying away. Her memory would always haunt me. If she needs her space, if she has to say goodbye, then I have to as well.
“I’ve got to go home,” I whisper. “I’ve got to go back to Kentucky. It’s the only place she won’t be. It’s the only place her memory won’t…” I trail off as Rex puts a hand on my shoulder and gives it a light squeeze. “I’m almost done with the construction on the club anyway.”
“Don’t even worry about that,” Rex chimes in. “I trust the guys you have hired to finish it. Shit, I understand man. It is what it is, and you’re doing the honorable thing.”
I roll my eyes and think of another time I had to give myself some space from a certain other woman I needed to escape. This time though, my road is leading me right back to where it all started. Where I first started running, and I realize how important it is that I stop.
Rex blows out a breath and then sticks his hands in his pockets. “When will you leave?”
I look out at the sunrise, squinting as the brightness floods my vision. “The sooner the better,” I answer.
Rocking back and forth a few times on the soles of his feet, he looks off into the distance along with me. A few minutes pass before he says. “Well, I kinda could do with a little space myself, and God knows there is nothing like your mother’s cooking. It’s been a long time since I have seen Jolene, too.” I shoot him a look when he mentions my older sister, which causes his hands to raise in surrender.
“Hold on tiger!” he laughs. “It’s not like you are thinking. But a road trip just might be what the doctor ordered for the both of us.”
I start to add up in my mind how soon I think I can get ready to go. A few days, perhaps a week tops is all I need, and I should be on the road. There is not much to pack, and the rest I can sell, give away, or store at Rex’s until he can get rid of it.
“Hell,” I mutter. “I guess company wouldn’t be so bad. You think you can leave the club that long?”
Rex laughs. “Are you kidding me? Michael would love to be rid of my ass for as long as I am willing to stay away.”
I laugh for the first time in a few days. “I’m guessing it will take me a few days to wrap everything up,” I say as the finality of my decision starts to set in.
“Well, you go ahead and get a start on whatever you need to do. I’m gonna go up in here and say hello, and I will call you later to see what you need.”
Rex starts to walk away., I turn toward my truck, then pause as I suddenly realize I don’t want Eva to know. I don’t want to sneak away, but I need to do this as privately as possible.
“Hey, Rex,” I shout out across the parking lot. “Don’t tell anyone, okay? Don’t let her know I was here, or that I’m leaving, promise me?”
“Don’t worry, I got your back brother,” Rex smiles. “Your secret is safe with me.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Noah
I was surprised at how easy it was to leave everything behind. When you have barely started a life, there is not much to get rid of. The hardest hit was breaking my lease which I had only just started. Luckily, I have always lived with secret savings stash, having grown up poorer than most, so paying off that mistake was easier than it would be for others.
A few boxes, a couple of trips to the local donation spot, and giving a handful of items away for practically free, I found myself ready to hit the road in a few days. Taking shifts driving, it didn’t take long to put everything that had happened behind me. Now, sitting in one of my favorite stopping spots on Beale Street in Memphis, I am only about four and a half hours from home, and two days free from the past that I’m still trying to stop thinking about in California.
The weather is pleasant as it drifts in from the open patio which acts as a small balcony of sorts looking out over the street. The dim light of the sunset matches the dimly lit lights in the bar as a local blues band plays on the stage across from where Rex and I are sitting at the bar. Running my fingers down the condensation on my beer, I am pulled out of my thoughts as my phone vibrates with an incoming call on the counter next to me. Glancing at it, I unintentionally grab the bottle tighter and lift it to my lips. I take a long hard drink to kill the pain her name awakens inside me.
“Still not going to answer that?” Rex asks as he glances down at my phone.
Frustrated, I snatch my cell and shove it in my pocket. I turn around on my stool and look out across Beale Street to all the people coming and going. Laughing with drinks in hand, they stroll in and out of bars listening to life-altering music. I’m neither here nor there, as I’m weighed down by memories too heavy for a Friday night in Memphis.
“If she wanted to say something, she would say it, but she never leaves a message.” I shrug at my lame attempt at an explanation. I take another drink and motion toward the bartender for another. He slides the fresh beer across the counter, I grab it, throw some money on the counter, and walk towards the open patio. Following close behind, Rex doesn’t waste time in pressing the matter.
“You know, I gave you two days and a little over 2,000 miles and didn’t say shit. You even had me lie to one of my oldest friends before following you more than halfway across the damn country. But, if you honestly are not going to pick up that phone and tell her the truth, I might just be forced to.”
I shoot him a glare just as two women catch Rex’s eye across the patio. Rex gives them a disinterested glance, which is very out of character. They try and catch my eye next. I smile politely before turning back to Rex and saying, “Trust me, I said what I needed to say before leaving. She got the message, or will in time. Like I said, if she wants to say something, she can leave it in a voicemail.”
I pause for a moment. Rex looks away from me and out across the street which is quickly filling up with tourists and locals. I follow his stare.
