Once I make it back to my place, I text Noah to let him know I’m home, and try to act as normal as possible. He doesn’t text back right away, which is a little out of character. When he finally does, all he wants to know is if it would be okay if he didn’t pick me up later and we could just meet at the club.
Trying my best to not feel the littlest bit upset and hurt he wouldn’t pick me up, I tell him it’s fine and I will ride with Gwen, but can’t wait to see him there. He texts me back that he’s busy and going into a meeting so he won’t be able to respond, ending with a quick “love you.” I respond the same, but something doesn’t seem right. I try to ignore it and tell myself I’m overreacting and overanalyzing the situation, but the burn, the burn simmers just under my skin and warns me to pay closer attention.
After a meal with enough calories to last me a week, a couple of Advil, and several glasses of water, I decide a nap is exactly what I need to help the situation. I lock myself in my room, and close the blinds. The worry of not knowing exactly what I said and what transpired keeps me awake for a while as I toss and turn with my thoughts.
Am I sure I didn’t say anything horrible? Why can’t I remember? It’s strange and out of character for him not to pick me up for a party that he planned. Maybe he had something come up?
Eventually, I fall asleep and hope that when I wake up, things will be back to normal.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Noah
Friday goes by in an angry rage.
The more I think about everything, turning over every word Eva spoke, the more I become irritated. Furious. Enraged with self-hatred. I lose myself in my work, hitting things in place with extra force, and slamming things down obnoxiously. Fuck it, I don’t care. The good thing about being my own boss is that I can act any way I want to, and no one is going to say a damn thing.
Eva texts me around lunchtime and somehow it makes my mood even shittier. The night before has left me with so many unanswered questions, and painful past memories of rejection. It hurts to think maybe she doesn’t love me as much as I love her. That maybe she couldn’t, or rather wouldn’t, give me her world like I have so easily given up mine.
So I make up the lie that I have some meeting, try to end the call sweetly, and get my ass back to work as fast as I can.
What if I can’t promise you forever?
Her statement clings to my every thought, creeping in at every moment just when I think I’ve finally succeeded in making my mind go silent.
Isn’t that what you do? When you fall in love, isn’t that supposed to be the most natural part? I wanted to be with her so badly, I did whatever it took to keep us together. If she can’t do the same, what the hell am I doing here? And where in the hell does this leave us?
I thought everything was great. Love hadn’t felt more perfect with any other woman in my whole damn life. Not even Becky. But damn it if I’m now not thinking I have been played this entire time. I shouldn’t have fallen for her blue eyes, long blonde hair, and body that looks like it was made for sin.
I love her.
I know I do. I thought for sure she felt the same damn way. I didn’t think I was running off headfirst into us like some kind of fucking idiot. I thought that I could trust her.
As evening approaches, I try my hardest to forget the last 24-hours. I want nothing more than to turn off my mind and enjoy the night. Maybe what I need is to see her again, hold her again. The connection between the two of us is always so strong, somehow maybe that might make everything right and calm the anger and nerves I’ve been dealing with all day.
I’ll be able to tell if things are okay between us by looking at her, spending time with her, and feeling her skin against mine.
I’m late getting off work, which means I’m late getting home, and now late arriving to her party. I hadn’t intended for it to be that way, but it’s unfortunately how it happened and to hell if I could have helped it.
Stepping into Gatsby’s, the place is roaring, just like you’d imagine it would be back in the twenties. It’s packed and music blares from a DJ booth set up behind the very elaborate bar. Our group has reserved a special room in the back of the building, and I slowly make my way through the crowd in that direction.
Entering the room, I first notice a few of Eva’s work colleagues. Then Rex and Michael. Trevor has shown up as well, and is busy talking to Gwen. I can’t help but cringe a little when I see Gwen. The fact that she left Eva in the condition she did last night still bothers me.
And Trevor, well he can go straight to hell. I know he’ll do anything to try and make Eva his, and so I do my best to push through the crowd and find what’s mine.
There’s my girl.
Looking absolutely ravishing in a light blue dress, her hair is long and cascades in beautiful curls down her slender back to her thick hips and thighs. She hasn’t noticed me yet, and so I take my time walking up behind her. Slowly, I grab her around her waist and notice she jumps slightly as I pull her closer to me.
I breathe her in, and her signature vanilla scent mixes with the smell of her shampoo and calms my nerves. She doesn’t turn to look at me right away. Instead, she continues the conversation she’s having. Her reaction burns me a little, and I try my best to ignore the sting. I tighten my grip and nestle into the side of her neck, right where I know it drives her wild. I don’t care that this room is full of people. I need that connection. That spark. I need her.
Instead of arching her head to the side, allowing me more access and room to do as I please like usual, she shrugs me off, then looks at me annoyed and rolls her eyes. That’s definitely different.
“Nice of you to finally show up,” she says as the person she’s talking to takes their leave.
“I got stuck at work,” I try explaining. “I wish I hadn’t. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to pick you up. Happy birthday, darlin’. How was your day?”
She backs up a little, putting more space between us. Extremely confused, I release my grip on her waist.
