Momma sits up a little straighter and her eyes widen. She knows I never bring anyone here. Not ever. So I am not surprised to see her so taken aback by my comment.
“Really?” She clears her throat. “Does this friend have a name?”
I think about lying. But I don’t want to hide Hunter. So I take a leap of faith and tell her the truth. “His name is Hunter.”
Her eyes widen. “His? Your friend is a… gentleman?”
Leave it to Momma to go all southern when talking about members of the opposite sex. Worrying my bottom lip between my teeth, I shake my head yes.
“I met him at the shop earlier. He asked me to go out with him. He said he’d wait for me to finish up. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and…”
“Baby, you need to be careful.”
Here we go. Momma’s endless routine of telling me to stay away from boys because they are all no good. There is a lot I don’t know about Momma’s past, about my father, but I can’t understand why Momma is always so against me having someone in my life.
“I am careful, Momma.”
She sits up taller and motions for me to come and sit on the small couch across from her. Reluctantly, I cross the room. She waits to speak until I have met her stare.
“I never told you about your father’s death but I think I should now.” I study her perplexed as she wrings her hands in her lap. “When you were just a baby, your father had an affair.”
The confession catches me off guard.
“It was a very dark time for us. His mistress demanded he leave me and you. Your father refused, and when she wouldn’t take no for an answer, she threatened us and demanded cash.”
“How could she threaten you, Momma?” I whisper.
“She said she had something on your father. Threatened to expose him. He was a mess. I tried to talk sense into him but he wouldn’t listen. I finally convinced him to leave. To take me and you and start over, somewhere she’d never find us. I took you to town and got a few things that we would need to make the trip. Remember? The time we got ice cream and I let you ride the horse in front of the grocery? You always loved that horse.”
I nod. “I remember. That was the day we saw Uncle Jackson. He tried to talk to you but you…”
“Never mind your Uncle Jackson!” Momma hisses. Shocked from her sudden outburst, I stay quiet and wait for her to go on. “He was always coming around, saying he’d help. Telling me it would be okay. Well, it wasn’t okay!”
Momma’s breathing becomes shallow. Her speech slightly slurred, she says, “Your Uncle Jackson is a bad man, Rochelle. He talks and talks, and makes promises, but he never follows through on them. They never follow through on them.”
Her last comment makes my brow furrow. They, as in men. She starts to cough and the sound of her raspy bark makes me cringe, but I try to hide it. A few moments later, she settles down and looks fearfully into my eyes.
“Your father killed himself that afternoon, Baby.” My eyes grow wide. “Now you see why I never told you. You can’t trust them. Any of them, child. I know this boy may seem nice now, but one day, one day he will disappoint you.”
Patting her hand, I say, “Don’t worry, Momma. I won’t let that happen. And besides, I got you, don’t I? You’re all the family I need.” My comment reassures her, but I know I’m lying.
After tonight, no one could compare to the way Hunter makes me feel.
He has a way of looking at me that makes me feel so special. When he holds me in his arms, the world fades until there is just the two of us in a perfect union I never expected.
Dropping Momma’s hand, I rise and walk towards my room. I close the door just as she begins one of her coughing fits. I drop down on my bed, letting out a heavy sigh. My heart breaks from the news that my father had an affair. That had to have been the worst thing in the world for Momma to walk through alone when she loved him so much.
To make matters worse, he took his own life.
I don’t remember much of my father, seeing that he passed when I was so young. Something about him killing himself should hurt, but it doesn’t.
Besides, my Uncle Jackson more or less raised me. I always loved when he would come around, but for some reason, he and Momma would always fight. The last time I saw him was the day we left Georgia. He came by the house and insisted on talking to me, but Momma ran him off. A few hours later, we were packing our bags and heading for the bus stop.
Maybe he was going to tell me about my father. Maybe about whatever secret Momma’s carrying. The one papa took to his grave. Whatever it was, I’ll likely never know because Momma put her maiden name on all accounts after we moved and refused to get anything that would track our old life to our new one.
Like cell phones. They were always off limits. I still don’t have one. Not that we could afford them anyways.
Momma thinks all men will cheat, break promises, never follow through, and always leave. I can’t say I blame her, but surely not every man is like that. My mind trails back to Hunter. My eyes close. My fingers trace my lips. The way he kissed me made me feel adored, cherished, special.
