Unsure, Dina said, “I don’t think it’ll be so bad, and I trust Enoch.God wouldn’t let him live among us if he weren’t wise.”He barely suppressed the urge, as he often did, to reach and touch the archangel’s hand.“I’m sure the Lord keeps us in mind.”
The archangel paused.“You don’t have the faintest idea of how wicked the humans are.All you read are fairytales and children’s stories.You can’t tell fantasy from truth.When they rise to Heaven, they will bring war back to us.”
“But Metatron said,” Dina argued softly, “that God will only bring the humans who are good here.All their wickedness will be washed away.”‘Metatron spoke of another baptism.’Dina didn’t really know what baptism was, of course, but he knew it meant a great deal to the man-turned-angel.
“There are no good humans,” Uriel grunted, then leaned back against his chair again.“But if we’re to believe they’ll all transfigure into angels, which supposedly Enoch has, then that wouldn’t be much better.We will all suffer.The humans will ascend into Heaven, and we will fall.”Quieter, he added, “And we have sown the seeds of our own destruction.”
A deep, deep frown tugged on Dina’s lips, as he turned to his book once more.“I hope that doesn’t happen,” he said simply.“I hope the humans will be very kind.”
There was, yet again, a moment of silence, but a hand eventually lowered itself onto Dina’s hair, covered by the same lace veil he’d worn for many, many centuries.“I don’t know why I tell you this.”In his chest, Dina’s heart had stuttered in confusion, in joy at Uriel’s gentle touch.“You never understand.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”The prince shifted again, but not significantly, perhaps just crossing his legs.“You were made this way.We’re all designed.”
Dina wanted to lean into the touch, but he knew Uriel would jolt away from affection, maybe snarl at him; it had happened each time the young angel had tried to simply embrace him.“I wish I’d been made a little less like this,” Dina said off-handedly.“But I also like living here with you.”Dina’s thinking made him smile again, then lift his body up to look over the armrest and at Uriel’s sullen face.“You should talk to me more.”
Furrowing his brows, Uriel nearly scoffed, but he didn’t remove his hand from Dina’s head.“About what?I’ve told you plenty of things already.Too many things.Haven’t you been listening to me just now?”
“But there’s a lot you haven’t told me either.”Dina waved a hand in the direction of the books.
“Such as?”Uriel prodded, his tone a little fonder than it ever was.
“Such as…” Dina glanced at the mouth into the labyrinth, thinking of the day that he knocked the archangel’s most precious scrolls to the ground, then fallen to his knees and hurriedly pulled them all into his arms, but the prince of wisdom had appeared instantly, then shouted at him.
‘It was the first time you’d ever screamed at me.You were always upset with me, but had never raised your voice, so I began to cry.Right in front of you, I started sniffling and rubbing both my eyes.It only made you angrier, but as you bent to pick up your writing, your hand lingered over the sketch of a star in between the calligraphy.You weren’t very good at art, often ordered other angels to illustrate your manuscripts, but you could very well draw suns.Wiping at a tear, I stared at the star with you, and I said that all of your favorite scrolls have stars.You didn’t answer me.I said that I knew this because I drop things so often.You said that, one day, I will break something of yours, and you will break me.’
The archangel’s hand began to drift away like a lonesome twig swept by flood.
Dina whispered, “Why do you have this library?”It was Uriel’s home; he slept in a dark room far from the exit and far from Dina’s own bedroom.“I noticed that all the oldest writings in here are about the stars.”‘You don’t like that I’ve noticed, but Metatron has noticed too.’
“To remember,” Uriel replied simply, “histories and dreams.Eternal life means eternal memories.”
“What is there to remember,” Dina asked, “about the stars?”
The question lingered, as the young angel had thought it would, but not as long as expected.Uriel, oddly, chuckled, and said, “Many angels before you have asked.One angel, Danel, when we were building the city, tried to meet the stars and find out everything about them to impress me.Many angels have tried to impress me.”He listed a few names, some known and some unknown.“Lucifer, too, once followed after me, and I avoided him.And there was… Kokabiel.Angel of stars.”
“I remember him… He was very strange.”
“I hated him.”Dina was saddened again — an angel should never hate — but Uriel continued, “He knew every detail of what came before somehow.When I told him to explain himself to me, he laughed in my face.”
At this, the young angel raised a brow.“What is it that came before?”To Dina, the devil had come before, and all of Heaven had come before.He didn’t remember the city of angels before sin much, as one of the first things he had ever done was sin.‘I still remember him.Golden-haired and bright eyed, the devil cooing in my ear to take the pretty rings I liked.’But the rest of life before the war, he didn’t remember well.He should have been like Uriel, should have kept his own library of the world he needed to remember.
It was one final hesitation before Uriel surrendered.“You can go to where my oldest scrolls are and read the truth for yourself.If our world will end soon, alongside that of man, then I won’t feel shame for much longer.”Dina realized he still held his book, his human likings.“So go and read, if you like, but it’s in an old script.You’ll have to learn it.”
“I’m not very good at reading,” Dina lamented because he was not good at quite anything at all.“Can’t you read it to me?”
“I can’t.”However brisk his response, Uriel didn’t sound so cold for once; he was like the fire still before the both of them, crackling and warm and dying.“You should learn, then you should read the histories as I’ve written them.Then, afterward, you should…” His voice — uncharacteristically uncertain.“You should climb up into the cosmos and see the stars for themselves.”He extended both his thumb and index, curling the rest of his fingers.“Travel forward, do not veer to the left or right, until you come upon a star.The stars are always moving, so I can’t tell you which one you’ll meet first that way, but if you don’t go straight, you won’t find your way back.I want you to touch it, try speaking to it.Sometimes, they talk in their sleep.”
“But I thought the laws say we mustn’t leave Heaven without purpose?—”
“I’m giving you purpose.”Uriel turned his head to him.“Do as I say.I’m still your prince.I want you to know the entire truth, not the kinder version that Heaven has invented so they can sleep soundly.I can’t go with you.The Lord has ordered me to study the Earth for some years.I’m leaving very soon.”He breathed in deep, then exhaled slow.“I need someone to know before we’re all gone.”
“Uriel,” Dina called, his eyes squinting in innocent fear.“Do you really believe that our world will end the same as the humans’?Do you believe all us angels left here will fall?”
“I heard that all of time will end soon from God’s own mouth.”
Threats of God collectively punishing all angels had been shouted from the rooftops when the Watchers’ sins reached Heaven, when Dina was thrown out into the street.He remembered a kick against his head, hands grabbing his clothing, spit landing on his face.They said the sinners had caused this, surely Azazel, surely Armoni, or any of the others.But it had been Armoni and Azazel that so gently led Dina through life in the shadows after the war, who were so patient with him, who preached hope with kisses to his cheeks.“Will I see old friends again before the end?I want to.”
