“You’re always putting me in my feelings,” I cooed, leaning against him and wrapping my arm around his.
“Good feelings I hope.”
“Always, bae.”
“Aight,… so since you technically broke our birthday tradition with mine, are we keeping the rest of our holiday traditions?”
“Hmm, I don’t know. We always spend Thanksgiving together here and pick a place to travel for Christmas. You still okay with that?”
“Raven did ask if you wanted to join her for Thanksgiving this year.”
I lifted my head to look at him. “Well yeah, but I ain’t going unless you are.”
Draco chuckled. “We can slide through for a minute. Her man was cool. Pops mentioned wanting us to come over for Christmas if you’re cool with that. I want you to myself for New Years though. That whole weekend, actually.”
“New York, or Vegas?”
“Why do we have to choose?”
Our eyes locked, and I noticed his smile was warmer. He never used to smile as much as he did now. While I could say I was sure a lot of that was because of us, I knew it was also because he was out of the streets and that his family was trying to make amends. I didn’t know what the future had in store for us, but for the first time in my life, I knew it would be bright.
A Little Over Five Years Later
“What you gon’ name my granddaughter? Her? She?”
As much as I didn’t want to laugh, I did. Regardless of how much I said I didn’t want a closer, personal relationship with Pops and Clover, they didn’t really accept that. They gave me the time and space to breathe and feel comfortable, but they also kind of bullied me into coming around more and talking to them after everything went down with Cordova’s cousins and Clov getting shot.
I think that moment showed them that regardless of how they treated me, that I was him.Him. That I really was that nigga. That man. That I was loyal, honorable, and about that life. Regardless of how I downplayed it, I knew I saved my brother’s life that night. I thought it would feel like I was saving an enemy’s life, but the whole time he was bleeding out, all I could do was pray to God that He gave Clov a second chance.
Slowly but surely, I started coming around more. We didn’t talk every day, and I hadn’t completely let my guard down with them, but we did have a good time when we were together, and I let them be around my family.
I proposed to Cordova in New York when the clock struck 12:00 for the New Year five years ago. We got married in a small, intimate wedding on the lake behind our home. My folks came, Raven and her now husband were there, and Lily wanted to come,… but I told her to stay her ass the fuck in Atlanta before I sent her and Megan to be with their brothers.
Cordova was still doing interior design part-time. She did start her own candle and bedding line. I’d retired her from her job, so she filled her days doing whatever she wanted to do, and eventually, she felt ready to take on the task of starting her home goods business. I couldn’t wait to see how much it flourished inthe future, but she was adamant about not taking on too much so she’d never lose her passion for it.
We’d created the family we never had and always deserved. This morning, my wife gave birth to baby number three. She was the first girl, and that was what made Pops’ comment so funny. He’d retired from being hands-on with the business. Clover had taken over, and he had a solid team behind him. Nathan had retired like he wanted, but Keem was still rocking with his oldest brother in the streets.
All in all, life was good, and I couldn’t ask for anything more.
I had more money than I’d be able to spend in this lifetime, from my time in the streets and expanding my adult arcade business. Currently, I had ten locations all over the United States, and they were flourishing. The only goal I had for my life was to get my wife pregnant two or three more times and to grow old with her sweet, beautiful ass.
“I’m Him, but nah, Cordova didn’t give me that privilege. Since I named our sons, she wanted to name baby girl.”
“What did sis decide on?” Keem asked as we all stared at the newest addition in our family through the glass. I’d just come out from holding her because she’d fallen asleep. They wanted to go in, too, but they were cool with waiting until it was time for her to eat and be changed again. She had the prettiest eyes, and they wanted to see them. Cordova said they were warm and soulful like mine,… whatever the fuck that meant.
“Cordelia,” I shared, and all their heads snapped in my direction, making me chuckle. “It means Heart in Latin. Cordelia Renee Jones.”
Pops gripped my shoulder as he swayed. His eyes were wide, and they immediately filled with tears. He pulled me into his arms and sobbed, and I couldn’t help but flick away a tear myself. It had never felt right to me that my mother had named me, and it felt even stranger that she gave me her last name.For a while, I considered changing my name altogether. The only reason I didn’t was because with having a name like Him, I had no choicebutto be confident and secure enough to be able to say that shit with my chest—to actually be Him.
I considered taking Cordova’s last name when we got married, but her family wasn’t shit either. Her parents were cool, but they were gone, and I wanted us both to have a fresh start when we created our family. The more present Pops was in both of our lives, the more it seemed fitting to use his name. I got my last name changed legally, and Cordova was now a Jones, but I told him the kids would have their mom’s last name. Cordelia was the first child we’d had that I felt secure and comfortable enough giving my last name to, so she’d be different from her brothers in that way, and so would the rest of our kids. On the bright side, we’d be able to carry on both the Smith and Jones legacies through our kids.
“Aight, Pops, damn. You snottin’ all on me and shit,” I teased, needing him to cool it before he made me cry for real. I’d already been an emotional wreck since my baby girl got here, and his display of emotion was only making it worse.
“I’m s-sorry, Son. I just… I’m happy and I can’t believe it.”
My brothers laughed and talked shit as he wiped his face as tears continued to fall.
I excused myself and made my way back to Cordova’s room. When Cordelia woke up, she’d feed her, I’d change her, then I’d let our family and friends see her. As soon as I walked into the room, my wife’s face lit up. I was sure mine did too. Even after five years, Cordova was still my happy place of peace. She was still my favorite person in the world.
