He bites his lip, avoiding eye contact. “Yeah, but people change. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. We grew apart. We had very different desires in life.”
There’s not much sadness in his tone. It actually sounds a lot like relief. “At least you figured it out before marriage and kids.”
“Yeah. I realized it was over when I went ring shopping. Nothing made me feel anything other than dread. Paying that much for a lifetime commitment to someone I couldn’t picture in my future like I once had made me want to throw up.”
“To be fair, it’s not necessarily a lifetime commitment these days. Not like it used to be.”
“It is for me. If I get married, it’s once. Divorce isn’t an option. That was one of our disagreements. I was too traditional. She wanted a nomadic life.”
I frown. “Nomadic?”
“No roots. Live in a van. See where life takes her.”
That does not sound like the Rachel I knew. She was always the polished, female version of Tyler. “That kind of surprises me.”
“Me, too. But she went through with it. Moved out six months ago. She’s been on the road for a month now. She’ll be back soon to pick up some of her stuff she left behind, but we haven’t talked since we said goodbye.”
“Wow, she actually did it?”
Stretching back, he rests his hands behind his head. “I thought I’d be a wreck without her, but honestly, I can breathe again. There’s one sign you can’t ignore though—one I probably shouldn’t mention to my employee.”
Laughing, I slouch in my chair. “Right now, we can just be two people who maybe aren’t quite friends but more than acquaintances. Not boss and employee.”
“You’re not going to report me to HR?”
“If I do, you’ll know I spent two hours drafting up the email before sending it,” I joke.
He laughs. “Not exactly a confirmation, Holly.”
“Unless you did something completely heinous and unforgiveable, I wouldn’t go to HR. I like the arrangement wehave, and I’d be too scared of who they’d have me report to instead.”
His tongue runs over his lips, and he gives me a look that’s… heated. Almost carnal. Even though he’s still my boss, the way he looks at me makes me wish we were both naked and laying on the top of his desk.
Damn this dry spell.
I want something lasting and forever, but I also really want to get laid. It’s making me a conundrum of emotions.
“The sex changed,” he says quietly, “and then it completely stopped.”
“Changed how?”
My voice comes out much breathier than I intend, and I notice his breathing picks up, too. The room feels charged. That throb between my legs? Yeah, I’ll be dealing with that at home later.
“It became… robotic. Going through the motions. Sure, it felt good, but it wasn’t a connection. Not like we used to have. You wouldn’t know it by looking at me, but I’m a very… sexual man.”
Before this, I might have doubted that confession. Right now? I’m convinced he’s picturing the same things I am.
“I’m on the same page. Sex helps you connect.”
He exhales shakily. “We should probably work on this project before things get complicated.”
Complicated? Sure. Because now all I can think about is his mouth on me, his hands roaming everywhere, and what he would feel like above me.
But, sure, let’s pretend this conversation never happened. Totally doable. Not awkward at all.
The Fake Relationship
My sexual frustration has reached an all-time high. So much so that I almost knocked on Decker’s door to take him up on that offer to scratch the itch my vibrator isn’t fixing anymore.
