“I hear you… but…”
“But what?”
Yanna wanted to express to Kas how much she feared being like her mother. How on most days she had anxiety from the feeling that she needed to cut ties with him. It was like acompulsion, her brain coercing her to completely part ways with Kas before she got in even deeper. Before her feelings for him grew to the point of no return. Because she knew he’d inevitably hurt her. She knew the aftermath of that would be calamitous. The deeper she felt for Kas, the more she would spiral when he decided he was done… when he finally abandoned her. She did everything in her power to be the opposite of Janis, but her mother’s voice saying,you’re just like mereplayed in her cognizance. Nah, she couldn’t go out like that, so even though she wanted to open up with Kas, she couldn’t.
“You can talk to me, Yanna boo. Please, so I can know how to handle things with you. I pay attention to you so I know how to accommodate you on most things, but it’s still a wall I can’t penetrate. I just feel like it leaves room for misunderstandings between us. Communication from you can go a long way.”
“Not right now. I kind of don’t feel like talking about the whole situation anymore. Can we just chill here and watch TV until I fall asleep? That’s all I want.”
“Then I got you. No matter what, no matter how you feeling, always know that I got you.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
“Yanna, how many times did auntie drop you on your head when you were a baby? I swear something is wrong with you.”
“Onyx must be right there because you fronting. So you trying to tell me that Tae isn’t fine?”
“Even if I agreed that he was fine, it wouldn’t matter because he don’t like coochie.”
“I think he like it on the low. HimandTuson because he kind of cute too.”
“He alright.”
“Give me a couple minutes and I bet I’d unsassy both of them.”
“Yooo, your ass is dumb as hell.” Troi cackled.
They were on FaceTime watching episodes ofThe Influence Atlantatogether. Yanna hadn’t started at WCMG yet, so she decided to stay home and relax. However, not having Troi live a few houses down from her was an adjustment. She didn’t last long before she was on the phone with her cousin, forcing her to watch reality shows.
“I’m just being honest. Anyway, you want to watchBaddiesnext?”
“Hell nah, she don’t. Y’all been on the phone for two hours already. It’s about to be quiet time in this house.” Onyx cut in, taking Troi’s phone from her hand and appearing in the camera.
“First of all, it ain’t never quiet in that house. Dennis the Menace makes sure of that, and when he does go to sleep yo ugly self gone try to fuck on my cousin. That shit damn sure not gone be quiet. It’s not even dark outside yet, you so damn clingy!”
“That’s ight, my Baby like that shit. And I’mma tell my brother you on the phone talking about fucking gay niggas.”
“You know what happens to snitches, right?”
“Yea, but you can’t beat my ass, so there’s that.”
“Ugh, you really get on my nerves. I want my cousin back.”
“Well, you old enough for yo wants not to hurt you. Love you, but Baby got to go.”
“Whatever, love you too, big head.”
“Love you, Yanna!” Troi yelled.
“Love you too.”
“Wuv TT!” Kian gibbered in the background.
“Aww, TT love you too, you little terrorist. Bye y’all.”
Yanna disconnected the call and tossed her phone onto the bed. Bored out of her mind, she decided she’d take a bath and maybe have a mini self-care session. Heading into her bathroom, she ran herself some bathwater, pouring in her bath oils and salts. Once the tub was filled, she turned on Brent Faiyaz’s latest album and stepped into the warm water. Seated, she reached over and grabbed her iPad, pulling up theKindleapp. Her latest read was by author Antoinette Sherell, and Yanna was obsessed with a character named Shabu. She was fully relaxed and had gotten through a whole chapter of the book before her phone rang with an incoming FaceTime. Since she knew it wasn’t Troi, there was only one other person it could be.
“Yes, Kasra.”
