“Yea, but?—”
“Nah, ain’t no buts, love. I peeped yo steez from a mile away. Fucking with me only because you was mad at the next nigga. A broad like you pulled the okie doke on me one time before, and I’ll never let it happen again.”
“You act like I did the shit by myself, nigga, I’m not capable of getting my damn self pregnant.”
“But clearly another nigga is since I’m apossibility. I meant it when I said I only had one thing for you, yo ass still chose to fuck off with me, so that poor choice is on you. I ain’t no poo putt ass nigga though, so there is one more thing you can get off me.”
Almost instantaneously, Yanna’s phone pinged. Pulling it away from her ear, she saw Trell had sent her an Apple Cash payment for one thousand dollars.
“Wow, really?”
“Yes, really, Yarra. Don’t act all surprised like this was more than it was. You don’t want me, you want that other man, and I don’t want you. I just wanted to fuck. Take the money and get rid of it because this shit is a no-go.”
“I don’t believe this.” Yanna spoke more so to herself than to Trell.
“Believe it, love. A lil’ word of advice for you too… fix shit with the nigga you want to be with instead of letting lil’ girl emotions drive you to make bad decisions. Because when you do shit like that you end up running into a nigga like me that don’t have no heart left to give a fuck.”
Yanna was fully prepared to curse Trell the hell out, but the three beeps on the other end of the phone let her know he’d already hung up. She looked at her phone just to be sure because she couldn’t believe he’d told her to get rid of her baby then paid her for it. Aborting her child would never be an option, but she surely wouldn’t be sending him his money back. She’d accept that as payment for making her feel like a complete fool… mostly because he’d been right. She allowed hurt feelings andoverreacting to lead her to make rational decisions, and now her life was an episode of Maury. Although she knew there were people she could talk to, her embarrassment hindered her from doing so, making her feel alone. Swallowing back her tears, she slid her feet into a pair of sneakers so she could go and spend time with her mother. At the moment, she needed to be around someone who’d also managed to self-sabotage their life.
“Ma, look at these flowers and cards you got. See, people do love you,” Yanna informed her mother, walking through her hospital room and rearranging the bounty of gifts she’d received.
“Yea? What the cards say?Sorry you’ve drank yourself to death. See you at the funeral?”
“Why the hell would anybody say that, ma? It’s mostly people sending you well wishes, thoughts, prayers and all that. Ooh look, somebody sent your favorites… blue hydrangeas. They’re from… what the hell? Trash.” Yanna tossed the bouquet in the trash can after reading the card.
“From who?”
“Doesn’t matter. They’re gone now.”
“Jaiyanna, tell me who they’re from.”
“They’re from Jaivion and just like him, they’re trash.”
“Take them out.”
“Take them out? Why would I---”
“Little girl, take them out!” Janis screamed, resulting in a bout of coughing.
Yanna rushed over to her mother and held the cup of water for her to take a drink. “Calm down. I can’t understand why you would even want anything from him.”
“Sit down, there’s something I think you need to understand about me and your father.”
“Jaivion.”
“Your father. I know you’re upset for how he left us, and I’m not saying you don’t have the right to be. It wasn’t his fault though; it was mine.”
“Hell nah. What you not gone sit here and do is blame yourself. He left you, left us, that could never be on you.”
“Except it is. I’m not some sad ass female down on myself thinking it was my fault because I wasn’t sexy or pretty enough. Hell, only bitch in this city that came close to fucking with me is my sister. When I say it was my fault, I mean it.”
“What? How?”
Janis patted the side of her bed for Yanna to sit. Yanna placed down the card in her hand and went to sit next to her mother.
“So, he’s long gone now, but the man who killed your uncle Jaiden is the same man who killed your uncle Troyan. Your father knew this, but of course me and your auntie Kamilla didn’t. In the months that followed both of their deaths, I watched your father become a different man. He lit the whole damn Northside up looking for this one nigga---”
“I already know he used to be a murderous ass drug dealer. What does that have to do with anything?”
