Kas scoffed, grilling Yanna up and down. The off white one sleeve dress hugged her body like second skin and accentuated her platinum blonde tresses. He had the urge to grab her into his arms and profess how much he’d missed her. Confess how the past three weeks had been brutalizing. How the absence of her presence made his home seem desolate, made the walls seem barren, the air feel drafty… but he refused.
“Because you give a fuck, right? You didn’t give a damn about me when you was doing the hoe shit you did, so don’t ask about me now.”
“I’m sorry… can’t you understand that I was hurt? I--- I thought you had fucked that girl so---”
“But I told you I didn’t!” Kas cut Yanna off, stepping directly into her space. “I looked you in yo fucking eyes and told you it wasn’t what it looked like. You didn’t want to hear me out when all I ever did was try to love you. You got my soul, Jaiyanna… and you crushed that shit without a second thought.”
Yanna recoiled. The realization that she’d wounded Kas so greatly wounded her.
“Kas…”
“So, who the fuck is Trell?”
“Nobody.” She answered quickly.
“Yea, that’s what I thought.” Kas chuckled. “Aye, look, from now on, carry it how you always have… you ain’t my girl, and I am not yo nigga. I needed a minute to clear my head, but I’mma go back inside and be present for my brother and sis. Do me a favor and stay the fuck away from me.”
Kas didn’t pay Yanna a second look as he walked back in the direction of the venue. Yanna felt dumber than she’d felt in her entire life. She’d acted irrationally. Let her own fears convince her that Kas’ actions were malicious. A stupid hoe. It was theperfect summarization of how she felt; maybe Kas had been right about her all along. What the hell had she done?
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
2 WEEKS LATER…
Tez keep telling me he just turned 30
Having Dreams of being single forever he’s getting worried
And I’m scared too…
“Me, I haven’t changed much, you know how I play it, better safe than sorry… say that shit, Aubrey,” Yanna spoke to Drake as she vibed to his verse on Alicia Keys’ “Unthinkable”.
Moment of honesty, someone’s gotta take the lead tonight who’s it gonna be?
Not the hell me, was Yanna’s inner response as she shook her head, pushing her phone away from her. She’d almost dialed Kas’ number. That would ruin everything. He’d given her the perfect out, and if she went back, she’d have no one but herself to blame when it all went to shit… again.
You give me a feeling that I never felt before…
She scoffed at that part. What the hell did Alicia Keys know anyway? Yanna was fighting feelings she didn’t want to have.Feelings she thought she’d trained herself not to feel, yet there she was. Sitting in her room listening to love songs like a regular sucker for love.
If you ask me, I’m ready…
Yanna could’ve cried. She wasn’t ready. Not for the uncertainty that came with being in love. And surely not for the three objects lined on her dresser, taunting her. She was going stir crazy… had been that way for a few days. Ever since her little illicit frolic in the hotel, she’d had this feeling… like something was incredibly wrong. Like she’d messed up in the most Jaiyanna way possible. When she’d checked her tracking app and realized her period was three days late, she learned her suspicion was confirmed. Yanna had gone to Walgreens and purchased at least five pregnancy tests. Each one yielded the same results… she was pregnant. She needed someone to talk to but didn’t know who. Troi had been her first choice, but she didn’t want to bother her. Not only was her cousin set to get married soon, but going to her with her current problems was embarrassing. Troi had always been the smarter one, the one who was more mature. She was always so well put together and decisive. Yanna, she was the hot mess who made life decisions based on what Troi had already done. She’d never been very mature, and indeterminacy was her primary personality trait. Dispelling her latest woes to Troi would make her feel small. Grabbing her phone, she dialed the one person she should be going to at a time like this.
“Yea?”
“Hey, ma.”
“Heyyyy baby girl… what got you calling your mumma at this time of night?”
“It’s 3:19 in the afternoon.”
“Is it?” Janis questioned, laughing out loud when she realized it was indeed light outside. “Well, shit, I done lost track of time. Anyway, girl what you want?”
A deep sigh escaped Yanna’s lips because she could tell her mother was drunk. “You know what, never mind. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Hanging up the phone, Yanna slid out of her bed and pushed her feet into a pair of slides. She grabbed her things off the dresser, secured her keys and phone and hopped in her Jeep after locking up. Venturing out of her neighborhood, she jumped on the highway heading 95 South.
Tree limbs rustled against the windows of Yanna’s Jeep as she sped down the long driveway leading to the three homes. Never had she needed to divulge her personal business to someone so badly. Normally, she valued her privacy, but the burden of realizing how badly she’d screwed up was too large to bear alone. Finally reaching the winding driveway, she pulled in front of Layla’s house, quickly spilling out of the driver’s seat. Like the contents of her pocket were on fire, Yanna sprinted to Layla’s door and rang the doorbell five times. A few seconds later, Layla opened the door. Seeing her warming smile did something to Yanna’s emotions, and the waterworks started immediately.
