Goddamn it.
He’d worked all day to build up to this moment, and in ten minutes, Corbin managed to fuck his sex life, too.
What the bloody hell?
He was lucky he was a calm, patient man, or he’d dunk him in the ocean all over again.
Yeah, he was going to send Corbin to friendship jail in about two seconds.
“I guess,” Gene said, hating that he’d even been pulled into this.
Ethan tried to help Will.
“I’m sorry he’s upset,” Ethan said. “It wasn’t intentional. We were just being ourselves.”
Will didn’t want them to suffer with him.
“Please don’t censor yourselves. You guys were open and warned us both earlier. That’s on us, not on you. Maybe coming here was a bad idea for everyone. We’ll keep our distance. It’s not fair for you and Gene to have a miserable time on your well-deserved vacation.”
Well, at least Will was thinking straight. Gene appreciated that.
Will shrugged.
“I do miss my sex life, but I’m willing to let it go,” he said, trusting them with that. “But I’m not willing to be the bad guy when I haven’t done anything wrong. Yeah, I had a sex life before him that was kinkier, but he had one before me, too. I wasn’t a virgin, and neither was he. It’s not like I said I was going back to my ex to get laid. I didn’t say I missed the dirtier sex—only that it was a part of my past. I just don’t think I can win this one either way. I didn’t think he’d get this angry with me. I’m so upset.”
That’s when they heard him.
“You’re right,” Corbin said from behind them. “That was a shit move on my behalf. The last thing I have a right to do is take shots at you for your past.”
They all stood in the surf that was crashing violently around their legs.
Corbin continued.
“That’s not fair, and I’m sorry. You’re right, Will. Your past is your past, and I’m not entitled to use it as a weapon in anger. I’m sorry I just hurt your feelings, and made you feel like you did something wrong. You didn’t. I’m sorry I judged all of you.”
Will stood there.
He was to the point.
“I’m trying, Corbin. We’re all trying. This isn’t easy for anyone, and they didn’t hand us a manual on how to deal with this. We’re all trying our best, and now Gene and Ethan will have to censor their holiday because we’ve barged into it. Maybe we should head home. They deserve downtime too. They’ve been through a lot as they carried both of us so we could focus on your healing.”
He was right.
Corbin had been a huge asshole, and he owed them all an apology.
“I’m sorry I’ve been a bitch to everyone here. I’m sorry that I’ve made this difficult,” Corbin said. “I’m also sorry that I’ve neglected your needs,” he offered. “That’s not fair.”
Will said nothing.
He let the man talk.
“Because I don’t want to have sex, doesn’t mean you don’t want to have sex. I just got testy because I’m frustrated that I’m not the man I once was. I’m anxious that I’ll never have an erection again, or want to be naked with you. I got bitchy because I don’t know if I’ll ever be back, and that’s a lot to carry. It’s terrifying that I might never find Corbin again. Every day, I feel hollow and lost.”
Yeah, Gene had been right.
At some point, Corbin would regain his common sense, and fix his mess.
“I watch all three of you be whole, and I don’t know how to be part of that. I don’t know how to feel joy and peace. I don’t know how to feel worthy. The best way I can explain it is when they hurt me, they tore me in half, and all joy and pleasure was left in that alley, and all that remains is confusion, anger, guilt, and hurt. I’m a shell, and I don’t know how to fix that.”
