“Megan, I celebrate you every day of every year. I celebrate your beauty, love, and respect.” He glanced away. “When you left me…that was the worst fuckin’…just fuckin’ kill me if I do something that make you want to walk away. I thought about all the shit I put you through over the years, startin’ with tellin’ you to fuck me if you wanted to stay at the club. I made you give up your body for something I coulda and shoulda done cuz you needed me. I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I ain’t too sure how you fell in love with me because I was such a motherfucker.”
Lifting up on her elbow, Megan smiled. “You still are, my love,” she said, leaning over to kiss him. “It’s one of the reasons I love you. But you make it sound as if you forced me to have sex with you.”
“In a way I did.”
“It was the only way you could justify sleeping with me. I was too young for you and, yet, you wanted me. You didn’t turn me into a prostitute and you didn’t force me,” she repeated fiercely.
“You think if you’d turned me down, I would’ve been a good motherfucker and let you stay?”
“Maybe you would’ve found a room for me, but I doubt that. You had so many reasons to stay away from me. A lot of them valid. However, you have tostopreducing me to a brainless idiot. I was old enough to make my own decisions. Justas I decided to go with Kendall that day,Ichose to make love to you. I was eighteen. A grown woman.”
He frowned, thinking of Rebel.
“We have three years before she’s grown, Christopher,” Megan said softly, knowing him so fucking well.
“The idea of her with any motherfucker killin’ me, butespeciallyone five, ten,fifteenyears older than her. I can do without this fuckin’ type of karma.”
“I don’t think you can imagine Rebel with someone her own age.”
“When did you fall in love with me? I think you ended up with me cuz you was carryin’ CJ and you ain’t had nowhere else to go.”
“Your relationship to Johnnie is showing,” she said with a little sniff.
Christopher stiffened. Not only because she compared him tothatmotherfucker but because ofthatmotherfucker and what they’d once shared. “What the fuck you mean by that flamin’ fuckin’ insult?”
“That I’ve told you a hundred times I was fascinated by you the moment we met and fell in love with you the day you took me to Long Beach and hugged Patricia. I knew then that I’d love you forever. And I had choices, Christopher. I could’ve left or stayed at that motel since you were paying for it and sending me money. Or I could’ve gone with Johnnie.”
He glowered at her. “Do you got to keep bringin’ that motherfucker up?”
“I’m not doing it to make you jealous. I want you to stop doubting yourself because of me. You are a god. Others may see that as hyperbole, but tome? You’re my hero. My god. My everything. That eighteen-year-old girl who gave herself to you was never so lucky that such a sexy, experienced man wanted her. I love you so much.”
“You acted like you ain’t wanted to leave with me today.”
“One, you still have Torie’s bike.”
Horror washed through him and his gaze flew to hers. “I ain’t had a chance to get rid of it and you rode with me on Valentine’s.”
“I rode with you today as well, Christopher.”
“That’s one of my favorite bikes,” he told her. “The other one ordered—”
She huffed. “Keep the stupid bike. The other reason is because our children need me, too. Jo, Gunner, Rebel. I thought you’d go to the club after you left Kendall’s office, especially given all she told you.”
“I need you, too,” he grouched.
“And I wouldn’t change this day for anything, but just because I’m being theirmotherdoesn’t mean I’m not your wife. We’re grown people. They are kids.They need me,” she said gently. “I can’t be a good mother if you take me away from them.”
“I’m so fuckin’—”
“Christopher Caldwell,stop. We’ve made up. Stop worrying about me. I’m fine. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Let’s move past this.”
“This morning triggertized me,” he said, using Axel’s term.
She giggled again. “Axel seems to have an admirer.”
Christopher puffed out his chest. “He a bad lil’ motherfucker, baby.”
“He’s a little sweet pea,” she agreed.
