Axel halted in front of him. “My verdict is you’re still a stupid motherfucker.”
Diesel gasped.
“Mom loves you as one of us. She wants to help you find your mom and help her so you’d really smile again. But Reb’s her daughter.You’rean old motherfucker and Rebel’s brother—”
“You don’t understand—”
“Speak for your fucking self, Diesel. Think about it this way. Suppose CJ wanted to be with Jo—sorry C, but this is for the greater good—and Mom asked him if he was out of his fucking mind. He didn’t care though, so I got Mom to back off CJ until Jo was older, then that motherfucker still acted brand new and fucked with Jo. Do you think Mom wouldn’t either want him dead or never want to see him again?”
Although the situations weren’t exactly similar, CJ saw that Axel’s scenario got through to Diesel. However, he was a stubborn motherfucker.
“Jo and CJ are biological—”
Growling, Axel stomped Diesel’s foot.
“Ouch, fuck!” Diesel yelled.
“Ignore the blood part and think about the relation, fuck face,” Axel yelled. “As a matter of fact, CJ would get killed fucking quicker forthat.”
Very fucking true.
Axel stomped Diesel’s other foot. When Diesel went to snatch him, Axel dodged his hands and bit his cheek.
Diesel jumped to his feet, so CJ stood to hold him back. Axel kicked Diesel’s thigh and he sprawled back onto the bench.
“You don’t deserve Rebel,” Axel spat. “You’re mean, whiny, and a feel-sorry-for-himself baby. That don’t mean I don’t love you as my brother. Mom’s a girl like Rebel and she wants to protect her. She must know what it feels like to be with an old motherfucker when she was still a teenager ‘cause of Dad, butat leastDad liked Mom.Youdon’t like Rebel, Jana, Tabitha, or no girl. You barely like Mom. MaybeTabithaisn’t the miserable cunt. Maybeyouare. Maybe Uncle Johnnie isn’t the fuckingidiot of the family. Maybe you are. ‘Cause, motherfucker, you mistaked what Mom meant. Either on purpose to be a whiny baby again or by accident ‘cause you’re fucking stupid. So, which is it, Diesel?”
Glaring at Axel, Diesel clenched his jaw.
“Don’t answer. I don’t care. As for Kaia, I already warned you about that motherfucker. You shouldn’t have hit him.”
“He made Jana laugh.”
“At least somebody did. You can’t even make your fucking self laugh, so we know you don’t know how to make her smile.”
“That isn’t fucking true. Jana laughs with me all the time.”
“Ha! If she ever did, she don’t no more ‘cause you barely want to be around her. Why? ‘Cause you’re fucking guilty. You’re guilty of thinking about Rebel and you’re guilty of acting like that motherfucker you killed!”
“How fucking dare you, Axel! Move the fuck—”
Axel punched the side of Diesel’s head. “I fucking dare. I double dare. You don’t got to be a vile motherfucker and steal a teenager to be like him. He wasn’t nice to your mom even when she got older. He just saw her as a big load. Not even as a people. Forget Reb and Jana. You don’t seeMomas nothing but Dad’s wife. Not your Mom ‘cause if you did, you’d know how much she loves you and how you must be hurting her.”
CJ had seen Axel at his worst. In a rage. Fucking with shit. Screaming and cussing. Fighting. But, other than the times Mom raised her voice at him or Dad spanked him, he’d never seen Axel truly cry. The horror on Diesel’s face at the tears streaking Axel’s cheeks mirrored how CJ felt.
Diesel tried to take Axel into his arms, but their little brother bit his finger, sniffled and wiped his cheeks.
“Me and CJ are on your side,” Axel said tearfully. “We might not like you with Reb, but we love both of you and you are a different kind of brother then me and him to her. We justwant you to like her and like yourself, so you won’t keep her mad. Mom didn’t stay mad with Dad until Jo got out of her and I heard her tell Aunt Bunny it might’ve been post pattern impression besides Dad being a mean motherfucker. Before that she was always laughing and liked to dance and make us laugh. She took care of us cuz she likes herself and Dad and Dad likes her and himself. All you’d end up doing is making Reb cry a lot. Mom was so mad at Dad but she cried every night we were away. Do you want to be mean like that to Reb?”
“No, Ax,” Diesel said tiredly. “Of course I don’t. I love her. Like a sister,” he added.
“Then treat her like a brother and be nice to Kaia. I left Ran and Ry when I heard Harley in the hallway. Kaia was with them, too. He wasn’t spouting stupid fucking poetry or nothing. He was really cool. He kept saying how gorgeous Reb was like he was a blind fucking mouse and just saw a beautiful girl for the first fucking time in his life. Mattie and Harley was right there, too. He was acting as iftheyaren’t beautiful girls too. He kept talking about Reb’s blonde hair, ivory skin, and blue eyes ‘cause he’s fucking stupid. He didn’t even care Harley was right there.”
CJ stiffened. “What the fuck does that mean?”
Axel swiped an arm across his nose. “That Harley might’ve started thinking she wasn’t pretty ‘causeeverybodyalways fusses over Mom and Rebel and talk about their blue eyes and blonde hair. Kaia told Rebel sheisthe gold standard and I asked what that meant. He said Rebel’s the perfect girl, every man’s dream with her hair, eyes, and skin. He had a fucking stupid moment, but I forgave him. I don’t think he knew about how Harley crashed out. Anyway, tous, hair, eye, and skin don’t matter, but to Harley it might make her feel weird. She can make herself get blue eyes and blonde hair but it wouldn’t be real so she still might not feel all the way right inside.” He looked at Diesel. “Kind of like you, D. You got a mom and a dad. Brothers.Sisters. A real big family, but it don’t feel real to you so you don’t really want us.”
“Ax, that isn’t true. I want and love you and everyone in my family. I would be lost without you. I’m so thankful—”
