The words halted CJ and he faced Diesel again. He didn’t even pretend not to know what he meant. “Did I fucking lie?” he snapped. “Rebel wants what she wants. The only fucking thing that’s stopping a catastrophe isyourdecency.”
“Are you trying to get me fucking killed?”
“You’re attempting that on your fucking own, dickhead.”
“The fuck I am.”
CJ was so sick of the constant arguing with the motherfucker. He took offense toeverythingCJ said. “Diesel, if you don’t know how the fuck you tipped your hand earlier, who the fuck am I to clue you in?”
“I’m not a fucking predator.”
“Since those words didn’t cross my lips, you’re revealing how you feel about yourself.”
Diesel laughed bitterly and discarded his cigarette in the ashtray. “How the fuck does it feel, my perfect little brother? Nothing to worry about but showing your fucking face at school and smiling.”
“I resent that.”
“Do I look like I give a fuck?” He glared at CJ. “Perfect world. Perfect life. Perfect boy.”
CJ clenched his jaw, ignoring the hurt he felt at Diesel’s derision. Axel was direct and said whatever was on his mind, butonlyDiesel, Rebel, and Dad struck below the belt with such cruel words.
“You’d never dream of fucking up,” Diesel continued, taking CJ’s silence as license to spew more bullshit. “You’re afraid of your own fucking shadow because you’re trying to protect your flawless reputation.”
“Do you know what your fucking problem is?”
Diesel’s smile was chilling. “The beauty of being so fucking blemished is I don’t give a fuck howyoufeel about me.”
“Lies, motherfucker.Lies. If you didn’t give a fuck, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“I’m just a fuck-up in your eyes. A needy, whiny, pathetic charity case.”
“You aren’t a fucking charity case. Get that through your thick fucking head. The rest of it? Right the fuck on target.”
Anger burned in Diesel’s gray eyes. “I’ll never live up to your fucking immaculacy.”
“Why is Jana here, Diesel?”
“I want her here, so she’s here. Didn’t we cover this already?”
“That you want her here, but you don’t want her?”
“Of course you have something to add to that. Why don’t you sit the fuck down and figure out your own fucking life?You have the motherfucking world at your feet and you’restilla whiny bitch.”
That Diesel wasn’t high made his words even more painful.
“You have feelings for Jana, you fucking asshole. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have lost your fucking mind when you saw Kaia with her. But the way you treat her is so fucking low.”
“I missed the date you received your psychology degree, little brother. When did that auspicious occasion happen?”
“No matter how it seems, I’m on your side.”
“Please leave that motherfucker, CJ. It’s too easy for you to stab me in my fucking back.”
“Did I fucking lie? Answer that, fuckhead, and then come at me like a miserable motherfucker if I spoke out of turn.”
“You know how Aunt Meggie feels and you had the fucking gall to tell her Rebel wants to fuck me and would if not for me.”
“Instead of blaming me, give me fucking credit for trying to keep you in the fucking family and protect Rebel.”
