“Did you ever tell her that?”
“Of course not. I adore Meggie and it was kind of an abstract thought. Besides, Christopher would’ve went ballistic.” She smiled fondly. “I see why she did it, though.”
“You aren’t her.”
“You were so unhappy, especially around CJ.”
“Yeah, because everybody wanted me to defer to that fuckhead.”
“Like father, like son,” she said sadly. “The adults go to Christopher. I think it was just natural that we set CJ up for the kids to go to him.”
Ryan dragged himself off the floor and plopped next to his mother. “Yeah, well, that wasn’t fair to me or him.”
“It wasn’t. If we hadn’t done it, you wouldn’t have—”
“I probably would’ve,” he interrupted. “My jealousy toward him festered long before I could put into words why I felt that way. That fuckhead is just so fucking perfect, even at being my cousin.”
Mom’s eyes widened, then her face lit up. “You truly like him now,” she crowed.
“Don’t say that shit too loud, Mom,” Ryan scolded. “You’ll ruin my rep.”
When Mom laughed, Ryan counted that as one of the best sounds he’d ever heard.
She kissed his cheek and then stood, twirling her finger to indicate his face. “Go tend to your lips and nose. Wipe away all the dried blood.”
“I will.”
I’m here if you need me,” she said, backing away, but looking as if she hated to leave him. “I have a few calls to make, so I’ll be in my office.”
“Mom?” Ryan called when she reached the doorway.
She half turned.
“I know I haven’t always been the best son, but I want you to know how proud I am that you’re my mom. I love you so much and I’m so grateful for all your love and support toward me, Dev, and Dad. I don’t ever want to disappoint you.”
Mom gave him a teary smile. “You never will, son. I love you so much and I have since the moment I held you in my arms.” She blew him a kiss and walked out.
Ryan pressed his lips together to keep from sobbing. If she ever found out the truth, not only would he disappoint her, but she’d never love him again.
Instead of stopping in at the club with everyone else, CJ walked home, disappointed at how the night had gone. First, Dad forced him to stay at Derby’s club, filled with strippers and naked women.
At his indifference to the girls, he wondered if he was defective.
While he’d been aroused, he’d turned down a lap dance and a blowjob, not wanting anyone there. Uppermost in his mind was Harley and the photos of her bruised body that that stupid fuckhead didn’t think to give a fucking warning before Grant, Rory, and Devon crowded around and saw her.
Motherfucking asshole.
AndCJ knew deep down to his fucking soul that there was more to those photos than what Ryan was showing.
“CJ?”
At the sound of Mom’s worried voice, CJ realized he stood in the mudroom. He swallowed, wanting to talk to her,needingto talk to her. She’d been completely on board with him finding Nardo. For whatever fucking reason, she also hadn’t said anything when Dad told her he planned to allow Uncle Johnnie to ride with them.
“You’re back.” Mom stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the mudroom for the briefest second before running to him. “None of you called me. I was so worried.”
CJ leaned down, so much farther than he remembered, and rested his head on her shoulder. “We didn’t find him, Mom. We searched and searched. We didn’t find Wally, Jr. either. They are still out there.”
“You will find him,” she said gently, stroking the nape of his neck, her mother’s touch soothing him even more than Dad’s gruff advice. “Sometimes, these things take time. The key is patience and vigilance.”
