Bailey shook her head. “No. You don’t.”
Glancing between her and Mortician, Axel considered her words, then roared with laughter. “Nice fucking try, Aunt Bailey. You aren’t using upside down psycholology on me.”
“Er, reverse psychology,” Harley corrected.
Axel glared at her.
“You let Mattie correct you,” Harley complained.
“Aunt Kendall is nice to me,” Axel said.
“I thought you said it was because Mattie was a beautiful girl.” Harley rocked on her heels. “Aren’t I?”
“Yeah, Harley, so shut up,” Axel snapped. “Mattie does it sometimes. You want to do it all the fucking time. A man gets tired of being corrected.”
“When I see a man, I’ll tell Harley not to correct him,” Bailey said.
“Little dude—” Mortician started, holding onto his sanity by a thread.
“You want Dad to talk to her, Uncle Mort?” Axel asked. “Or me?”
“This is ridiculous. It would be my word against yours.”
Ryder held up his cell phone. “Actually, Aunt Bailey, even though Axel doesn’t lie, he told us to record because Diesel said there are certain words that should have foolproof evidence.Trespassingis one of them.”
He hit play and allowed them to listen from the moment Axel said what trespassing meant to when Bailey called Meggie a bitch.
“Your choice, Aunt.” Ransom said. “Ax or Dad?”
“Axel,” Bailey said weakly.
“I’m sorry, ‘k, Uncle Mort?” Axel didn’t care about Mortician’s response and turned to Bailey. “If you don’t act like you got fucking sense and lay off my mom and my brother, I’m telling Dad. Nofuckingbody in my house cares about you ‘cause you don’t care about nofuckingbody in my house. We don’t worry about what you’re doing, so stop worrying about what my mom is doing. It won’t end pretty for you. We love Uncle Mort. We love Harley, Lou, and Kaleb. We love Lolly, Grant, and Pop. Weusedto love you too. Then you turned into you. Mean and lemony.”
“Bitter,” Ransom said.
“Aren’t those motherfuckers bitter, Ran?” Axel asked.
“They’re sour,” Ryder told him.
“Fine, Aunt Bailey. Mean and sour. You don’t smell sour. You smell really good, but you act sour. And you don’t got no fucking reason to. Uncle Mort didn’t turn into a stupid motherfucker like Dad.”
“I bet you wouldn’t say that to Outlaw,” Bailey said with hostility.
“I not only said that to that motherfucker but I made him fucking suffer for what he did to Mom,” Axel replied. “I served him dirt and poop stuff. I put chili pepper spray on his toilet paper. I put hair melting stuff in his shampoo and conditioner and Mom’s body wash. I gave that motherfucker chance after chance with each fucking step. If he would’ve just admitted his crimes, all he would’ve seen was the spray paint and had the chili pepper spray on his ass.”
“You really…?” Bailey looked at Mortician.
He nodded and her eyes widened.
“Even if you don’t love Uncle Mort no more, straighten up. Otherwise, we’ll get rid of you and keephimlike we’re planning to do with Uncle Johnnie and Uncle Cash. I might have to get rid of Aunt Fee, too, since she got in Mom’s face over that stupid motherfucker. I’m not too sure yet.”
“I love Lucas,” Bailey said crisply.
“No, you hate that motherfucker,” Axel said crossly. “’Cause, Aunt Bailey, if you loved him, you would stop risking his fucking life by fucking with Mom and CJ. I would really, really miss Uncle Mort if you get him fucking killed.”
“Meggie can’t like him as much as she pretends if she allows her husband to kill him,” Bailey said.
“Herhusband ishispresident.” Axel jabbed a thumb toward Mortician. “Put some fucking respect on that man. All of you are on Mom’s No-Kill List, but you’re either Uncle Johnnie level stupid or Uncle Cash level mean if you think she won’tfucking scrape your names off with a fucking knife if you fuck with CJ. That woman don’t play about her husband and her children. Test her at you own detergent.”
