She doesn't sound ashamed or even humorous. She just sounds concerned. I remind myself I am safe and I am not leading her anywhere. We're going to the meadows together. That's all. This is Sanctuary Station, the safest place in the galaxy. No one is at war here.
“Yes,” I gasp harshly, then try again, “Yes. I am sorry. If I could blush, I would be doing so right now.”
Her laugh tinkles like the wind ornaments we used to string from the eaves of our homes on Dhugar. It wraps around me like a warm breeze. This female is so vibrant, so full of joy and love. I don’t deserve her.
“I am no leader, Destiny. Following me will only get you hurt.”
“Oh Khur. What I said? It’s just a human phrase. Meant to be light and silly. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She puts a palm to my cheek as I push off my knees and stand to my full height.
Her head barely comes up to my chest. Her arm is reaching above her head to cup my cheek. I will never get over how vulnerable, how small and soft and delicate she is. It almost makes me want to start hyperventilating again, because how can I ever keep her safe? How can I ever protect her if I do make her mine?
“It’s okay Khur. Get out of your head and get back here with me.” She pokes my nose with a finger, “You don’t have to take care of me. Isurvived the end of the world. I’m tougher than I look. And as far as leading? I can be bossy enough for the both of us. Just point the way and I’m happy to take charge!”
I chuckle and grab her hand waving in front of my face, daring to poke my nose again. I still have the strong urge to tuck her under my arm and shield her from the world, but she’s right. We’ve all survived the end of the world. She can protect herself. I’ll keep an eye on her back, anyways, of course. Just in case. That decided, I tuck her hand back into my elbow, right where it belongs. I turn towards the doors on our right and we walk together, side by side.
The main halls of the twelfth division are not as crowded as ours. They have a few small vendors selling Silfan wares, but our division has the best market, and I don’t see anything especially unique or interesting. So we make our way through relatively quickly. I try to pace my gait to match Destiny’s much shorter one.
Destiny stays tucked into my side, matching me two quick steps for each one of mine, so even though I am the one with the directions, I don’t feel like I amleadingher anywhere. It’s so stupid, how my brain is equating a walk through the space station with walking into battle, but I can’t stop it, so I am grateful for Destiny’s attentiveness. Even if it does make me feel guilty because I should be attentive to her needs, taking care of her every whim, and all I can manage is putting one foot in front of the other.
“Holy shit, Khur. What is that? Something smells sooo delicious,” she asks when we have passed the market and getting close to the meadows.
Just next to the double doors that will lead us into the Silfan biome a food vendor is pulling frieddersialsfrom a great boiler that could have also served as their bathtub.
“Have you had Silfan food yet? You should try somedersials.” I pull her excitedly towards the cart. I remember my first time tryingdersials. I hadn’t known what they were and I had demolished half a basket before Gunnvall saw fit to tell me. I was already too enamored with the salty, crunchy snack to be disgusted. Destiny said she loved surprises, though. I wonder if this would count as a good one?
“I haven’t tried anything but Dhugaren food yet. Though I’m not sure anything will be as good as Urzu’sfurkurra.”
She is smiling so big the tops of her cheeks are rounded and rosy. I brush one with the pad of my thumb and she shivers beneath my touch. I am no expert on humans, but I think that is probably a very good sign.
“My treat then,” I say before turning to the Silfan in front of us. “Two baskets please. One spicy, one salty. And some of that dip if you don’t mind.”
The Silfan gets to work preparing our baskets. They have set up an ingenious method of hopping between tall barstools from the front counter to the huge back boiler, to the side counter where he quickly assembles our baskets. Thedersialsare coated in batter before they are fried, so one can’t really tell what they are. He drizzles pink sauce across each basket and leaps gracefully back to his barstool at the front counter. I wave my wrist over his datapad to pay and we both thank him before walking over to a bench to eat our snacks.
The frieddersialsare, as always, perfection. Just the right amount of greasy, salty and crunchy, with a slightly sweet, meaty center. Thesauce is a specialty of this particular vendor, and its bright tanginess pairs excellently with the spicy ones.
The best part, though, is watching Destiny eat them. She enjoys them as much as I did my first time. She pops one in her mouth, then closes her eyes and moans suggestively, chewing slowly to savor it. The sounds she makes have me thankful for baggy jumpsuits once more. She eats each one like it is her first and last meal, just like she lives. Unafraid and unapologetic. After half of each basket is gone—we share them both—Destiny sets her basket on the bench between us and sighs contentedly.
“These are so good, but isn’t this station meat-free? There’s no way this isn’t meat.”
“We are livestock-free, yes, but the Silfans are obligate carnivores. They and the Originem have found interesting ways to fulfill their dietary needs.”
“Oh hell, Khur, do I even want to know?” she asks, but her mouth is smiling, her eyes shining, and I know she’ll think this is a funny surprise.
“Would you like me to tell you?” I ask, holding in my laughter as much as possible.
“Part of me says no, but I can’t stand the suspense. The curiosity will kill me!”
“Humans must be very fragile creatures if they can be killed by their own curiosity.”
“You have no idea, big guy. Now tell me. What did I just eat?”
“They are calleddersials. We actually don’t have an equivalent on Dhugar, because the climate is too cold, but I have been told they belong to the insect family.”
Destiny screeches before looking over at the vendor and stifling herself.
“There is so much to unpack here, but first of all, Dhugar didn’t have bugs? Like no insects at all?”
“None. Imagine my surprise when I first saw the live ones. I thought they were some type of smart missiles, so I ran like a child. Gunnvall thought it was hilarious.”
