"Apparently." My voice comes out scraped raw. Kairis really did a number on my throat. "Unless this is a very detailed hallucination. In which case, I'd like to request better scenery."
He doesn't laugh. Doesn't smile. Just watches me with those colorless eyes, and the weight of his attention sits on my skin. Presses there. Makes me aware of how thin these sheets are, how much of me they're not covering.
"Where am I." My voice doesn't have the energy for question marks.
"Discord territory. My private chambers."
His private—
A god's private chambers. The Mad God's private chambers. I'm in his bed, which is either very bad or very confusing and I don't have enough information to know which.
Wonderful.
From one powerful man's property to another's. At least this mattress is more honest about being uncomfortable.
"Why."
"Because Coin's medical wing wasn't an option."
I laugh, probably sounded more unhinged than anything.
"That's not what I meant, my lord. Why am I here. Why did you—"
He moves.
His hands are on either side of my head, his face inches from mine, those white eyes filling my vision. The mattress dips under his weight. His body cages me in—arms braced, chest hovering, close enough that I feel the heat radiating off him. My whole body locks up, breath caught somewhere in my chest, and I can't—I can't move, can't think, can't do anything except stare up at him while my heart tries to beat out of my throat.
"Don't." The word comes out low. Rough. Almost a growl. "Don't call me that."
I can't find my voice. He's too close. I can see the silver flecks in his eyes, the tension in his jaw, the way his breath comes uneven. His forearms are rigid where they bracket my head and if he dropped an inch, just one inch—
"You don't call me my lord." His voice drops lower, this dark scrape of sound that I feel in my stomach. Lower. "You don't bow. You don't use titles. You say my name. Koshin. That's it. That's all you will ever call me."
My pulse is pounding so hard I can hear it. His face is right there—close enough that I could count his eyelashes if my brain was working, close enough that his breath hits my lips when he speaks. My back wants to arch. My hips want to shift. My whole body is straining toward him and I have to lock every muscle I have to stay still.
"Do you understand?"
I don't understand anything. I don't understand why he's this close or why his voice sounds like that or why my body is going liquid instead of rigid, why the heat pooling low in my belly has nothing to do with fear.
Traitor. My body is a traitor.
"Yes," I manage. It comes out breathy. Pathetic. Wonderful. Really selling the dignity here.
"Say it."
"Koshin."
His eyes close. Just for a second. A muscle in his jaw jumps and he exhales slow, like the sound of his name in my mouth is something he needed to hear, something he's been waiting for. His whole body shudders, just barely, and I feel it everywhere we're almost touching.
Then he pulls back. Settles into a crouch beside the bed, distance restored, like he didn't just pin me down and demand I use his name while my whole body forgot how to function.
The air where he was goes cold. I want to reach out and drag him back. I want—
No. Fuck. Stop.
"Good." His voice is almost normal again. "That's better."
I stare at him. My heart is still racing. My skin is still flushed. The ache between my thighs has nothing to do with my injuries and everything to do with how badly I want him back on top of me.
