“Maybe, but loyalties are built quickly in this sport. How was the intern tonight?” he asks, switching subjects as he continues to pace.
“He was fine,” I admit. “Rían looked scared of me, like I was a ticking time bomb. He dropped me off at your office as soon as he could.”
“I may have overdone it when I spoke to him,” Dad mumbles. “I also think he’s gay and probably one of the safest people who could walk you around.”
“Dad!” I exclaim. “Not everyone who looks at me is thinking about hurting me. It’s easier for me to say that now than it would have been a week ago.”
Dad stops pacing, standing in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest. He reminds me of a tree, and I know he’s up early every morning to run and work out. Looking back, he could have killed the players who hurt me six years ago without a hint of remorse.
Killing them would have been selfish, because I don’t think I would have been able to live with the guilt.
“So these meds are hurting you,” he confirms. At the incline of my head, he growls under his breath. Again, he doesn’t scare me, so I continue to finish my tea while I wait for him. “These fucking doctors just loaded you up full of shit that’s not good for you, not thinking about the side effects!”
“Maybe, but I also think they saved my life,” I shrug. “Coming off them may be a pain, but I did need them, Dad.”
“Hmmph,” he grunts, not reacting as I get up from the couch. “Are you hungry?”
Always feeding me… Hiding my smile, I decide I could eat a snack.
“A little,” I admit. “I’m also starting to get sleepy.”
“Grab a protein bar,” he suggests. “You aren’t as bad post panic attack today.”
“I didn’t expect anyone to wander over to your office,” I admit. “He was justthere, and I began to remember the night of the rape. He wasn’t even there, had nothing to do with it, but my body had a reaction to seeing him again. I would have still been freaking out about it if this was just a week ago, but I feel okay. I think each day will get better.”
Dad taught me how to use the stun gun, and that has been helping me with my anxiety. It helps me feel safe. He told me to aim for anywhere there’s bare skin: arms, throat, etc.
“Damn, that’s the most positive thing I think you’ve said since you moved back,” he says, impressed.
Grabbing a bar from the counter before rinsing out my mug, I nod.
“I can’t be doom and gloom all that time,” I say. “I’m also not the kind of person who can always be happy anymore either.”
“I get that,” he says. “You know, they say that endorphins help combat depression and anxiety, do you want to go for a run with me? Early morning?”
I give him a look, and he grins. It’s not a million degrees anymore in New Orleans, but I am not a runner. I could also tell him that I’m not depressed, except I won’t lie to my father.
“Who knows, it could help push the medication out of your system faster since you’re sweating it out,” he cajoles.
“Ugh,” I whine, half laughing as I watch him turn off lights on this floor. “How early is early?”
“Six in the morning,” he grunts, checking the locks on the doors and windows as well. This is why I used to triple check the apartment before I went to bed. It used to make Addie crazy.
“Fine,” I sigh, beginning to climb the stairs, knowing he'll be just behind me. “I’ll go to bed now and work on content after this run you speak of.”
“It’s good for you,” he chuckles. “Good night!”
“Night, Dad,” I say, walking into my room and closing my door.
I survived my first hockey game in years, and I’m going to prove to myself that while this job wasn’t exactly where I planned to be, I can thrive here too.
I’m in my room a couple of days later monitoring the socials for The Dragons, smiling at the comments section. There are men and women alike thirsting over players, proud of our win against the Scorpions, and stating they’re going to attend a game.
I’m not going to lie, someone has been severely lacking when it comes to their socials. Some of the players have their own social media accounts, and do well there. Brand deals are built around images, charity work, and how the player is doing on the ice.
There’s a lot of money on the table for those who play their cards right too.
My phone rings, and I answer without checking to see who it is. There aren’t many people who have this number, and I blocked Jonna and her husband after they fired me unceremoniously on my first day.
