“Always,” I grin, watching as he makes his way out to talk to the team before the game.
“Is he okay?” Addie asks. “Like did anything happen?”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “The three of them were fine at home, and now he just seems really anxious now that I’m in the stands.”
I try sending my alphas love and reassurance through the bond, unable to think of anything else that might help. I fall into conversation with Addie, not thinking anymore about Miles or how odd his behavior was.
Players are announced half an hour later as they skate onto the ice, and I smile as I watch the visiting team.
“As left forward, we have Luis Meyer,” the announcer says loudly, making the blood drain from my face.
No, no, no.I have paid special attention to his name to ensure that the New Orleans Dragons didn’t play his team at any point, but I didn’t realize that he had been traded. Luis Meyer has been playing on a team up in New York before this.
I sit frozen with dread, despite knowing that the chances that he knows I’m in Nashville are slim. It takes time for me to beable to breathe, and I even have to pull out my stun gun from my boot to keep it in my hand to help.
Ice is all I can feel despite trying to ground myself, and it's hard to draw breath into my lungs. I’m seriously struggling with this new discovery. All I’ve ever wanted is within reach, and my past is on the ice, skating as if he doesn’t have a care in the world.
Miles turns to stare at me as if he can feel me through the bond, and I smile weakly, shaking my head. I can’t tell him or he’ll lose his shit. It’s why I’ve been so adamant about staying quiet about the people who hurt me.
I have to protect him from his instincts to protect me. I’m trying to shut down the bond between myself and my alphas, but have no idea if I’m doing it right or not.
“What’s wrong?” Addie asks, leaning against me.
“Just…hold my hand?” I ask, swallowing hard. “A ghost is walking over my grave.”
Addie takes my hand and squeezes it, her eyes moving over the ice as if she can figure out the culprit. She knows the names of the men who hurt me, and it’s just a matter of time before she realizes it.
The teams get on the ice, and I keep my eyes on Levon to help distract me. His features are fierce, his thigh muscles bunching and releasing as he skates. That’s who I pay attention to as I watch him play, my heart rate settling every time he checks someone. I play a game where I try to guess what he’s saying to the other team as he talks shit to them, forcing them to break their concentration.
“Levon is on his game tonight,” Addie murmurs.
“He looks good,” I say, smiling as I think about how that sounds. I am unapologetically obsessed.
Addie’s thumb rolls over the band of my engagement ring as if to help her ground herself as well as she holds my hand. My anxiety is affecting her too.
“The other team,” I finally tell her, sighing. “Number thirty-eight.”
Sitting up straighter, I wait until she sees the name on the back of his jersey. Then, she pulls out her phone and looks him up, refusing to ask me anything since I’m clearly trying to keep it together. Being off my meds is proving to me how much it was affecting me.
I’m still freaking out, but it’s different. My heart rate is racing, my skin feels clammy, but I can survive this. Plus, Addie is with me.
Alone? This might not be true. I’d probably be a mess. I’m so glad that I have her in my life. He’s out there, I’m safe in the stands.
He can’t hurt me here, right?
“No fucking way,” she whispers.
“I didn’t realize he got traded,” I sigh, disappointed in myself. “I’ve been so happy…”
“Nope, we aren’t going to do that,” she says, shoving her phone in her pocket angrily. “You are happy, and you’re going to fucking stay that way. Is that understood?”
The level of passion in her voice is so fierce, I can’t help but give her a watery nod.
“You deserve really good things, dammit. You’re finally getting them too. So we’re going to watch your man beat the Bolts, and then we’re going to move on with our lives,” she says. “Hedoesn’t get to take anything else from you.”
We both know that she’s refusing to say Luis’ name, and I force myself to take a deep breath.
“Again,” Addie mutters. “No hyperventilating on my watch. You can do this.”
