Zero hesitation. Just—no.
My heart pounded. “You answered that quickly.”
He stared at me. “Yes.”
“You didn’t even think about it. What does that mean?”
His knuckles had gone white around the drink.
“Kairos. Why not?”
His lips parted. His eyes held mine, glazing over with some emotion.
Then he lifted his cup and drank.
He couldn’t drop that on me. My thoughts scrambled. Why wouldn’t I be yet another lover?
Kairos refilled his cup. “My turn. What happened between you and him?”
My stomach knotted. The spirits burned as I tipped the glass back instead of answering.
He smiled sadly. “Then tell me this—what do you dream of?”
I glared at my cup. “I don’t know.”
“You must think about the future.”
“I’d like to not worry about food for a while. To have a place where no one can find us. Somewhere Rheya and I can exist without looking over our shoulders.”
“That’s survival, not a dream.”
My cheeks flushed. “You can afford to dream. I hope that I’ll make it through winter and have enough coin for medicine when either of us gets sick.”
“Take a moment and think about it.”
“No. Why torture myself about things that will never happen?”
“What can’t you have?”
Love.
Heat rushed to my face as I traced the rim of my glass with my finger. “I want to stop hurting and not feel like something inside me is broken.”
“You’re not broken.”
“I need to understand what I am. Why I can do what Ido. If there’s a reason I can break runes or if it’s…meaningless.”
He leaned forward. “And?”
“And I want—I want someone to see all of me and still think I’m worth keeping.”
Kairos dragged a hand through his hair, his eyes saying everything he couldn’t. For once, I’d knocked him completely off balance.
He inhaled a deep breath. “Aelie?—”
“My turn,” I blurted. “What happened to your wings?”
He grabbed the cup. Then he tipped it, drinking deep. When he set the glass down, he didn’t look away. He just sat there, breathing hard.
