The groundskeeper's blue eyes softened, and he took a step closer."Of course you are.I mean, just look at you.I'd let you rule me anytime, even if I just met you five seconds ago."
I sucked in a deep breath, imagining all the ways I'd command him to serve me.The big guy behind megrowled,jealousy rolling off him in waves."Don't get ahead of yourself, dude."
I stepped out from between them, feeling light-headed at the promise of an alpha male display of possessiveness.My little knees were weak, and my molten core trembled like a Jell-O mold in an earthquake.I sat down on the stairs.
Both guys glanced at me and I waved a hand."No, don't stop.Fight over me!"So hot.It really did things for my fantasy of being the center of attention at all times.
They continued posturing.There was flexing muscle and puffed-up chests.Someone growled.The word "mine" was used excessively.I fanned myself.Whew doggies!
Finally, I couldn't take it any longer.I stood, making sure to climb up a few stairs so I could look at them from eye level."As amazing as this is, I think we should really get back to the plot."I waved a hand dismissively."There's enough of me to go around.But not until after we figure out what this letter means—and I repaint my nails.Priorities, guys."
They both turned and prowled toward me.Holy hippos, they were hot!It was a good thing they were different colors, or I'd have a hard time telling them apart, they were so perfectly perfect and…uniform.
Each guy put one big hand on my hip, and the heat rebounded between us as they pressed their big bodies closer.I almostswooned.Maybe the whole house being a pocket whatever and this whole hidden kingdom thing could wait….
A loud bang made me jump, and I turned my attention to the front parlor room.Stepping between the guys, I led them to the doorway.The bang had come from one of the big bay windows.I watched in surprise as some weird nerd wrenched the window open and crawled inside.The window slammed shut behind him with a boom, all on its own, nearly catching his long knobby fingers in the process.
"For fuck's sake!"he muttered in a weird, reedy voice that wasn't attractive and manly at all.He stood and pulled his ugly Hawaiian shirt straight, then shoved his thick glasses up his long nose and raked his boring brown hair out of his face.While my big, hulking hotties looked good with a sheen of sweat from the hot, humid summer day, this guy…he just looked…clammy.He wiped a sheen of sweat from his cheeks with the back of his hand, then settled his glasses.He'd dropped a ratty old duffel bag at his feet, and he bent to pick it up and throw it over his shoulder before looking at us.
"Wow," he said, still breathing hard from his battle with the window."I didn't think I was gonna make it in time, even with your warning!"He narrowed his boring hazel eyes at me."Mare?Thatisyou, isn’t it?"
I arched my perfectly plucked and drawn eyebrows at him and wrinkled my nose cutely."Mare?My name's Mary Sue.I think you broke into the wrong house."
He was clearly a Bad Person—with capital letters.I could tell because while hewastall, he was alsoskinny, and he had that long nose, and a mole on his cheek.I studied him a bit more and gaped in horror."Are you wearingsocks with sandals?"Oh, hecks no!Uglyandpoorly dressed?He had to be a terrible villain.Maybe my arch nemesis.
He heaved a sigh, like he was dealing with an idiot."I was going to wear sneakers, but they blew up.The sandals were all I could grab on my way out the door."He glanced down at his stupid feet.Then he frowned and shook himself."Wait.That's not important here.Cripes."
He glanced at the menacing hulks at my side, both ready to snap him like a twig because they were so protective and amazing, even though they'd only known me for about three minutes.Best three minutes of mylife.
"Uh," the nerdy guy said slowly."Who are you?"
I rolled my eyes."My postman and my gardener.Not that it matters to you, burglar."
He blinked at me."Burglar…."
Postal guy huffed as he looked at me."Never did introduce myself to you, sweet thing.I'm Dray."
Gardener dude reached over to caress my cheek with his big, rough, sexy hand and I forgot everything else."Cass."
Nerdy guy startedlaughing.I watched in confusion as he laughed so hard he ended up bent over, tears streaming down his unattractively narrow burglar face."Oh," he wheezed."Oh, this is worse than I ever imagined."
I crossed my arms over my chest in a way that perfectly highlighted my amazing, somehow-perky-even-though-they-were-huge boobs.Tapping a dainty toe, I glared at him."I'm calling the cops."
He held up a hand, gasping for breath as he straightened and tried to stop laughing."Go ahead.They won't respond.No one can get in here."
"You did," Cass pointed out, his low, growly voice making me pant.
Nerdy guy rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses again.I could barely look at him.His Hawaiian shirt was making my eyes hurt."Well, sure.I used magic, just like we planned when everything went tits up.You…really don't recognize me, do you?"
I huffed."Believe me, I'd remember if I ever met some ugly guy who liked to crawl through windows and commit fashion sins."And did he saymagic?Was he the one who trapped us here?Well, duh.Hewasa Bad Person, after all.Just that nose alone…and I think I saw a crooked tooth when he talked.How grossly imperfect.
Clearly evil.Everyone knew ugly people were evil.
He ground his teeth together."Well, excuse me for not living up to your standards,princess.But I've got better things to worry about than my lacking physical appearance."
I tossed my lush hair."Actually, it'squeen."I narrowed my eyes at him."And I think I need a dungeon.That's where you put villains, right?"I glanced at my two beautiful knights.
Dray and Cass moved forward and grabbed the skinny guy's arms.He yanked back, but he was way too weak to break free of their grip.
