I turned, intent on running away from this stupid, confusing dream.The weirdly too-pretty man disappeared, and someone caught my upper arms in thick-fingered brown hands.Dray.I’d know those chocolate brown eyes anywhere!But…no.This man was short and thick, burly and a little…paunchy?I was pretty sure that plaid shirtdidn’thide perfect abs.“You have to help him, witch,” he pleaded, an absolutelywretchedlook on his face.“Please.He’ll die.”
I drew myself up to my full height, towering over the guy.Wait…I didn’t tower.I was little and delicate and….“Even after everything he did to you?”I said, my voice full of fury.“After how they treated you, why do you even care?Why do you put up with it?”
He bowed his head.“Because I’m not like them, Mistress Witch.I don’t wish anyone any ill will.I just want to be left alone.”
I crossed my arms over my flat chest and glared down at him.“Fine.I’ll help break the curse.Ononecondition.”
He looked up at me with tears in his eyes.“Anything, ma’am.Anything you want.”
“You’re coming with me when it’s done.No arguments.You don’t belong out here.”
He blinked at me in surprise and I felt myself shifting again, moving, falling through this weird dream.
Thisguy I recognized.The Bad Wizard Burglar stood behind a polished wood counter, surrounded by floor-to-ceiling shelves of thick-spined books bound in leather and embossed with gold and silver lettering.A tall rack of carefully ordered glass bottles filled with a rainbow of colors sat off to one side.“Take me with you this time, Mare?Please,” he pleaded, leaning against the counter and removing his thick glasses so I could see the earnestness in his big hazel eyes.“Please.Think of theadventureswe’d have.I can’t stay here a second longer in this up-tight, moldering ruin of an institution.”
I stared down at the man, completely unsurprised.I’d seen it already in a vision.He was going to be my first acquisition.My first act of theft.“I don’t know,” I said slowly.“Sounds like a lot of trouble to me.”
He hopped over the desk, remarkably agile for a stuffy book nerd who relied on magic to get things done.“Oh come off it, Mare.You already saw, didn’t you.I can come?Really?”
I felt my mouth stretch into a wide grin.“We’re going to annoy the fuck out of everyone.It’ll be glorious.”
He pulled me into a hug, his wiry arms not feeling so gross after all.Maybe even a little nice.Maybe even like home.
Pain lanced through my head and I jerked awake, moaning and griping my temples.Fumbling for the lamp on the nightstand, I clicked it on, only to stare in shock.The pink and gold wallpaper was faded and peeling, hanging down off the gray walls in sad streamers.As I watched, a crack snapped across one wall, cutting through the plaster like a streak of lightning.
I turned in horror, only to get the second shock of the evening.
There were strangers in my bed.And they looked as confused and scared as I did.
“Oh, flamingfuck,” I muttered, closing my eyes.“Son of a three-toed, one-eyed whore!”
Then I sat up, my head throbbing and my long, capable fingers clutching the bedsheets like a mad woman.“I’ll fuckingkillher,” I hissed.
Then I flung myself out of bed and strode toward the door on long legs and veryundelicate feet.“Mel!”I bellowed, my voice carrying throughout the walls of the stupid crumbling mansion.
I needed my sorcerer.Right the fuck now.
Chapter 9
Thedoortohisbedroom banged open, the knob leaving a hole in the plaster.Melvin sat up, wincing when the motion tugged at the blisters that covered most of his right arm and torso.Even jerked out of a restless sleep, he’d recognize that voice anywhere.
Mare.
“Thank fuck,” he muttered, easing himself up to sit over the edge of the bed.If Mare was back, maybe she could heal the damned burns.Great and magnificent sorcerer he may be, but organic healing was more the witch’s area of expertise.His was more along the lines of figuring out magical puzzles and blowing things up.
He lifted his head and almost wept with joy with what he saw.Damn it all, he was so sick of this childish nightmare.Mare stood in the doorway, her hands on her hips, her warm brown eyes flashing with anger.He took in her tall valkyrie-esque frame, with its broad shoulders, small chest, and wide hips.Her big, bare feet ate up the distance between them, and she batted away the halo of fluffy, kinky brown hair that floated about her head.Her wide mouth tilted upward at one corner—somewhere between a wry smile and a grimace.“I thought I told you to stop setting yourself on fire,” she ground out.
Melvin huffed.“Happy to see you too, Mare.”He reached for her and she obligingly bent at the waist, letting him pull her into a lingering kiss that said just how desperate he’d been to get her back.Her soft, demanding lips slid across his and her big hand tangled in the hair at the base of his neck.When she pulled back to rest her forehead against his, he moved to press a quick kiss to her long, upturned nose.
Fuck’s sake, he’d never been happier to be rid of that vacuous twit who’d taken the place of his Mare.Pulling back, he watched her as she examined him.Sometimes when she was thinking her long nose twitched in the cutest way—like a curious rat about to sniff out a morsel of food.“I can fix this, can’t I?”She asked, waving a hand at his burns.
Melvin’s pulse thundered in his head.Crap.“Uh…you don’t remember, do you?”
She sighed and rubbed her temple.“My head feels like it’s been fucking crushed under a ten-ton boulder, Mel.”Her eyes met his, and he saw though her anger to her confusion and fear.“I knowyou,though.I remember that much.”
He nodded.“It might take a bit for all the pieces to come back.But they will.”He sighed.“If we go down to the kitchen there might be enough stuff left for you to piece together a healing spell.I don’t know how you activate them…but I’ve seen you use the ingredients often enough to be able to identify them.”
She licked her lips and nodded, her shoulders losing some of their tension.“Okay.We’ll get you taken care of first.Then you can explain what the hell is going on.All I can remember right now is that I have a very strong urge to set a woman named Belinda Bubblebottom on fire.”
