“We could still be friends,” she says finally.
“No, we can’t.” But I can’t stop myself—I reach for her, my arms around her, the soft smell of her hair in my nose. We can’tbe friends, not when I’ve been inside her. Not when I’ve known what she looks like, sounds like, tastes like. Not when I know that she has a husband who loves her the way she deserves to be loved, even if he’s only sweet when he thinks someone isn’t looking. That he’d crawl over broken glass to be with her. I should know. I’d do the same too. “I knew this would be how things went.”
“That doesn’t make it better.”
I lift my shoulders. If we pretend this was just sex, then it’s easy to shrug off. But it wasn’t just sex, and she knows it, and I know it too. I step back, put my hands on her shoulders. Hope that I can hold that distance, if nothing else. “Goodbye, Savannah.”
And so I leave before I do something I shouldn’t—like drop to my knees and beg her to let me stay.
Chapter Fifty-One
Savannah
When I get backto the house, Brayden’s truck is in the driveway.You’re not supposed to be home.My whole plan—the one I spent the drive home formulating—is contingent on him being somewhere else.Even though it’s an off-day, Brayden usually goes to the ballpark to get in some extra work. If he’s not there, he’s sometimes at his parents’ house—though he’s been doing that less and less. He sometimes goes out—but he’s also been doing that less and less.
Just go in and have a conversation with him.Even the thought of that puts tears at the back of my throat. We knew this would happen. Three people can’t keep a secret. An entire baseball team definitely can’t. Now the team knows about me and him and Asher. How long before that makes it to the press?
We got married to pay my tuition and help his image. Only one of us held up our side of the bargain. There’s no such thing as a one-sided business deal, my dad likes to say. I got an education, migraine medication. From what Asher said, Brayden might get a scandal: his wife sneaking around with his teammate. I can hear the whispers now, people looking fromBrayden to Asher.Don’t they seem awfully…close? Maybe she’s not the only thing they’re sharing…
For once, my path forward is clear. I need to get out of here—and out of Brayden’s life—before the damage gets any worse.
I get inside, trying to figure out what I should say other thanI’m sorry, when I spot Brayden on the couch, a blanket pulled halfway over him. “Are you sick—?” I start to ask, then Brayden lets out a soft snore.
I go over to where he’s asleep, shoes off but otherwise fully clothed. He’s curled up on his side, knees bent so he can fit on the sofa, one hand stuffed under a pillow and the other arm curved outward as if he’s reaching for someone who’s not there.
He’s also not alone. Baby is tucked against him, also asleep. She lets out the occasional kittenish snore. Brayden’s arms are ridged in faint red lines as if he let Baby climb all over him. On the floor, there’s a shopping bag from the local pet store, out of which spill a few catnip mice. Which would explain the various cat toys I’ve found that I didn’t remember buying.
I watch them for a minute. Brayden’s face is soft with sleep; Baby is nestled right against his chest. A feeling overwhelms me. That this place is the place I’m supposed to be. No matter how I got here, this was where I should have ended up.
And yet, I know what I need to do. I tiptoe upstairs, do a brief circuit of my room—the spill of papers on my desk, the photos at my bedside, the jewelry stand on my dresser. I pull my suitcase from the closet, pick through my clothes for the absolute necessities. I can take what I need now and send for the rest.
I add all my schoolbooks to the pile, along with a picture of Baby. She’ll be better off here in a house she knows, with a person who clearly loves her, than wherever I wind up. That doesn’t stop me from crying as I pack or as I call the one person in Atlanta who might know how to help me out of this mess.
Lexi picks up on the first ring. I tuck my phone against my ear, not wanting to risk speakerphone in case that wakes Brayden up. “Hey girl,” she says brightly.
It’s probably best to cut to the chase. “I’m leaving Brayden.”
For a second, Lexi goes silent as if she might have misheard me. “Okay,” she says, slowly, “what do you need?”
“It’s not—” My throat tightens again. “He didn’t do anything. He’s wonderful. I know people won’t believe me, but he is. I’m the one who— It’s me who screwed up.”
Lexi hums. “Was there someone else?” She asks it less like she’s genuinely wondering and more like she’s merely confirming something she already knew.
There is—was—but not the way you think.“It’s—”A mess. “It’s complicated. I’m not sure what I’m gonna do.”
“We have a fund.”
I blink. “What?”
“The WAGs group. When people pay dues at the beginning of the season, I set some aside for situations like this.”
Why would she…?My heart sinks. I know why. The samewhythat made Brayden’s aunt tell me to hide money and keep a razor in my purse. The samewhythat makes Asher’s voice shake slightly when he talks about his father. “You should save that money for someone who needs it. I can figure it out.”
I switch my phone to my other shoulder so I can more easily fold my shirts and stuff them into my bag. My ring catches the light—the heavy yellow diamond that declares me Brayden’s wife. I could sell it or pawn it, though I have no idea how any of that works. Whoever buys it will probably smell theprincesson me and cut me a bad deal.
Lexi remains undeterred. “So it’s a loan, then. You can pay us back when you’re settled.”
A negotiation—at least that puts me on familiar ground. “Only a thousand, and I’ll pay you back next month.”
