“There is more,” Rex says nervously.
I stare at him and wonder what he could have to say that’s worse than that. Because heaven help me, if I have to hear much more about the night my sister died and the events that followed, I won’t be able to stand it.
“She told me, Gwen,” Rex says in a whisper. I study him as he stares me deep in the eyes. “She told me,” he says, taking a step closer.
I don’t move. My feet couldn’t even if I screamed for them to. I stare at him and wonder what she could have told him. When he reaches for me, the trance I was in snaps, and I shake out of his grasp and take a few steps back.
“She told you what?” I demand.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he pleads. “What did you do? I would have helped you. I would have done whatever you wanted, whatever you needed, Gwen.”
I stare at him confused. “Helped me what, Rex? Because my head is spinning right now, and I’m not on the same damn page as you.”
“You didn’t have to get rid of it,” he whispers harshly, and it hits me. “Shit, we were young, but I would have found a way.” I grab my stomach and instantly feel sick. “I would have gotten a job, and forgotten about college. I would have begged my parents for money and set us up so you and our baby wouldn’t have to worry about a thing. Why did you not tell me?”
I’m fucking speechless. Not just about the fact he knew I was pregnant, but my sister’s cancer, too. Also, the conviction from him that he thought I got an abortion. It’s all too much to process. Fear gets the best of me. Hatred fills my veins. Suddenly, I need him out. I need him gone. I need him to leave me alone because I can’t process all of this and what I still have yet to tell him myself. I start to cry, and he takes a step closer. I hold up my hand, and he comes to an abrupt stop.
“Please, Gwen,” he begs with unshed tears. “Don’t be mad. She only told me because she cared about you, and she knew how much I did, too. I tried to find you that summer, but your parents wouldn’t tell me where you went. I wanted to talk to you, hold you, keep you close to me, and keep us together. But you disappeared.”
“Please leave,” I demand, but he doesn’t budge.
“Why, Gwen? Why…”
“Leave Rex!”
“You sure that’s what you want?” he snaps. “You have a nasty habit of blocking me out when all this gets too real for you. What are you so afraid of?”
“Afraid,” I yell, taking a few steps forward and pushing him in the center of his chest. He steps back quickly. “Afraid?” I yell. I push. He steps back. “You’re the one afraid, Rex. Afraid of settling down with one woman.” This time, when I push him, he doesn’t budge. I hit him, right over his damned heart. He stands tall and lets me. “Always playing the field. What am I afraid of? I’ll tell you, trusting you again when all you did was leave me. Yeah, I walked away that summer. But not before you always walked away first. Why would I want to keep a baby that was yours when you couldn’t keep it in your pants long enough to only please one woman? When you always run when we get too close?”
His jaw ticks as he stares back at me. Hatred fills his eyes. My breaking heart worries I pushed this too far.
He takes a step back and studies me. The silence stretches. I’ll be damned if I break. I may have been in the wrong, I may still have a heavy secret weighing on my heart that I haven't told him, but he knew about all of this for years and said nothing. Nothing! For that, I can’t force myself to come clean now.
“Well, that’s one way to put a man in his place.” He stalks past me, grabs his keys off the counter, and heads quickly for the door. I turn away, unable to watch him walk out of my life again. “I’m only sorry about one thing. Trusting you. Trusting us. It’s a mistake I won’t make again. Excuse me while I show myself out. Have a nice life, Gwen.”
The door slams behind him, and I startle. I stare at the wall across the room for several minutes after he’s gone. When I can’t hold them in any longer, tears stream down my face. Alone in my living room, I fall to my knees. I let it all out. I cry for my sister, the man I love who just walked away, and the baby inside me that deserves better.
25
Gwen
Aliyah knocks on my office door. I look up as she timidly enters the room. A sad look crosses her face. Trying to hide everything I’m feeling inside, I sit up straight in my chair and put on a smile that we both know is fake. She takes a seat across from me and frowns.
“Don’t tell me you’re not happy all of this is almost over?”
A sad laugh escapes my lips as I stare out the window across the room to a town that now holds so much, the weight of it is almost crushing me.
“It will be nice to go back to my life before this,” I finally respond.
Although, I know that’s impossible. I know that what New Orleans uncovered will never make my life normal ever again.
Not only that, but I’ll return to my life before with a package from my past. A relic to take home with me. Something to always remind me of my time here and my time before with a man I’m not sure will talk to me ever again after the way I last spoke to him.
“Don’t tell me you’re not going to miss me?” Aaliyah jokes. I smile, looking back her way.
“Always,” I grin, offering her probably my first genuine expression in the last few days.
It’s been almost forty-eight hours since my blow-up with Rex. Neither one of us tried calling the other, but if I know Rex, this fight is far from over. We tick to the same tune, and we both needed space to digest all that was said that night. I, on the other hand, still have some explaining to do, and I’m not entirely sure how that will go down.
