“Well,” I say as she saunters towards us. “Look what heaven brought me tonight. Must have known I needed an angel to save me from the hell inside my head,” winking at her, I pull her into a hug.
“Hilarious, Rex,” she sasses before she hits me in the shoulder playfully. “Where is Gwen tonight?”
“I was about to ask you the same question,” I respond, bringing the beer to my lips and avoiding the confrontation about a relationship that is getting harder and harder to hide.
I know Eva has been on to our scent for a while now, but there is no way I am letting that secret out of the bag tonight.
Gwen deserves better than me. She shouldn’t be with someone who wants to hide her, but with someone who screams how much they care about her from the highest fucking rooftop. I know she needs me to tell her. I know she deserves to know. But shit, I feel like I show her how I feel about her, do I really need to say it? I have only had eyes for her since I first saw her dropping her books coming up the high school steps two years ago. Hair a mess and late for class. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Swallowing hard, I push back the memory, bring my beer to my lips, and hope the two people standing in front of me don’t notice.
“Mhm,” Eva eyes me. “Well, all I know is she was vague when I called her earlier. That’s not like Gwen at all. Maybe I will drive over there and check in on her and Belle after this. I know Belle has been going in for all those treatments, and the last news they received wasn’t exactly good.”
I look off into the distance, remembering holding Gwen as she cried, watching as she fell apart in my arms for her sister, her twin, a girl I know probably won’t make it. If she dies, that’ll tear Gwen apart. If I am across the country at Ol’ Miss, who would be there to pick up the pieces?
“Well, tell her I say hi when you see her,” I say, trying to act nonchalant.
“Sure,” Eva chuckles. “I’ll do that.”
She walks off towards the crowd inside the house, and I breathe a sigh of relief, knowing I don’t have to put up a guard any longer.
Michael knows the history between Gwen and me. Shit, he has known since day one. I needed someone to talk to about the little vixen rocking my world and the fact that I gave her my virginity. What he doesn’t know is that I also gave her my heart. But shit, Gwen should be the first to ever know that, and I’m not sure I will ever have the guts to tell her. What they both don’t know is that I am secretly thinking about giving up my scholarship so that I can be with her.
We stand in silence for a moment before Michael speaks. “Want to talk about it?” he asks.
“Nope,” I say, taking another drink of beer.
He nods. “Well,” he shrugs, straightening up and taking a few steps towards the door. “I think I saw Summer walk in a few minutes ago. Think I might go see what she’s up to. Sure looked like I needed to take her home later.”
I laugh as he walks off towards the party. Alone on the deck, I look up at the sky and wonder where Gwen is. What she is doing? And why she couldn’t meet me earlier?
That is twice lately that she has canceled on me at the last minute. I know the situation with her sister is serious, but I needed her tonight, too.
I know shit would be so much different if we weren’t hiding. If the way I feel, how we both feel, was out in the damn open. But that means standing up to her parents about my reputation, my mom’s reputation, and letting the world know what she fucking means to me.
That means becoming vulnerable, and possibly even turning into my old man. Fuck, as much as I know I love her, I‘m not sure I’m ready for that.
The breeze blows around me, and the clouds darken. The only light is the one cast over me by the moon in the sky. I take another sip of beer and will the peace only Gwen brings to somehow manifest itself in her absence and settle me tonight.
“I thought I might find you out here,” a sultry voice says. I look up and see Christina Thompson strolling toward me. A mission is written all over her face, and I’m suddenly well aware that I’m her target.
Turning to look at her, I ask, “You were looking for me?”
“I’m always looking for you, Rex,” she says playfully.
I fight the comeback that wishes to break free. The one that screams she is always looking for something to fill a void, and it just happens to be me tonight. Too bad for her, this is one man she’s not getting.
“Not interested,” I say, pushing off the railing and trying to walk towards the house.
“But Rex,” she pouts, blocking the way. “I needed to talk to you. I needed to tell you how much it meant to me that you came here tonight. You know, you were the only one I was looking forward to seeing.”
I roll my eyes. “Really? With lines like that, you get what you want? Seriously, Chris, I thought it was assholes like me that put those one-liners to good use?”
“I’ll let you get what you want, as long as you’re the one giving it to me,” she purrs, making me completely turned off.
“Don’t think so,” I turn to leave, but she grabs me and forces herself against me.
Stumbling back a step, I catch her as she falls into me, then quickly steps up on her toes and crushes her lips against my own.
Startled, and a little thrown by her boldness, I stand still and wait for her to finish. She eventually gets the hint that I’m not kissing her back and stops. Her eyes open, and she stares at me. A hatred fills her gaze before I notice her eye catch something behind us.
