“Hmm.” He smiles sadly. “We need to feel it. The love. The loss. The guilt. We need to live with it. As hard as that is. Anything else would be too easy.”
I look sideways at him. “What if it’s our fault we lost it?”
His face contorts like he’s lost in a painful memory. “Then I think it’s even more important that we remember.”
“Look at you two.” My father’s voice is like a fresh blast of air entering the room and lifting the somber mood. “Getting more wedding ideas?” he asks as he spots the magazine in front of us.
“Yeah, tons.” I force my voice to sound brighter. He deserves to be surrounded by happiness. He and Halliday need to have a magical day, and I’m going to do everything in my power to help them have it.
“It’ll rival any royal wedding with this one helping to plan it.” Uncle Mal chuckles as he gives my hand one final pat and rises from his stool.
“I’ve no doubt,” Dad comments, his blue eyes crinkling. “What are you doing today, Sweetheart?”
He says it so casually, like it’s innocent. But I know they’re all talking about me to one another behind my back. He’s checking I’m actually doing something that doesn’t involve wallowing in my apartment with only Monty for company. It’s out of concern, I get it. But I wish they’d all back off.
“I’m going to a meeting with Julian,” I reply. “We’re going to discuss taking the foundation public.”
My father’s brows shoot up his forehead. After Denver left, I decided to come clean about what I’ve been doing. Having one less secret from my family seemed important. And they’ve allbeen amazingly supportive about it. I should have told them a long time ago.
But that’s another choice I made that I’ll have to live with now.
“That’s fantastic. I’m proud of you, Sweetheart.”
“Thanks.” I shrug away my father’s compliment, a nausea caused by guilt swirling in my gut. He still doesn’t know I’ve been lying to him for weeks.
Denver’s gone. It’s over.
But the deceit that makes it hard to hold my father’s eyes is still there, as strong as ever.
“What changed your mind?” Uncle Mal asks.
“Something someone said to me. About how I could do more good if I did it.”
My father’s gaze narrows as he studies me. “Sounds like someone who gives good advice.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I mumble, flicking the corner of the magazines pages with my fingertip.
My father picks his suit jacket up from where it’s draped over the back of a stool. “I’m going to say goodbye to Hallie, then I need to head off.”
“You want me to come and sit in?” Uncle Mal asks him.
“Please,” my father replies. “We can’t hire just anyone. They have to be…” He shakes his head.
“They can’t be as good as him, so don’t say it,” Uncle Mal says. “But we’ll get the next best.”
“Hmm.” My father grumbles.
I flick my eyes between the two of them. They’re interviewing for Denver’s replacement. Usually my father would have had him replaced immediately. But he’s waited all this time, hoping he’d come back.
He hasn’t.
I hang my head, shame pulling like a weight around my neck. It’s not just me who was affected when he left. I know my father thought of him as a friend,more like family, than an employee.
But like Denver said himself, Lizzie and Dixie are his family. He needs them. We only got to have him for a while.
And the sooner I accept that, the better.
Three weeks later
