"For the first time in my life, I wasn't in control of the situation, and it pissed me off." He glanced at her. "I ran. And told myselfthat it was a damn fluke. I spent several months trying to get you out of my head, the taste and texture of your skin." His fingers curled into fists.
"I took women to bed, just to get rid of the taste of you. I thought I had. Sophia..." His mouth twisted bitterly. "I knew she was starting to get too attached, and I was so bloody arrogant. I thought I could handle it and her. It would be like all the times before. When the passion fizzled out, we would go on our separate ways."
"Instead, she tried to kill herself."
The pain and grief came and had him sucking in his breath. "I never wanted anything like that to happen. You have to believe me."
When she remained silent, he turned his head, afraid of what he would see on her face.
She met his gaze, expression unreadable.
"Please say something."
"You hurt me." She told him bluntly. "It was foolish of me, and I was naive and too innocent, but I fell in love with you that night. We danced in the garden..." A smile ghosted her lips. "It was the most magical night of my life.
"I thought you were the most beautiful person I had ever seen and when you took me out of the room and into the garden, I was dazzled." Her expression sobered. "If you'd asked me to go with you, anywhere, I would have done so without hesitation." She plucked at the sheets, fingers restless. "You broke something inside me, Cade."
"Then let me fix it." He gripped her shoulders and hauled her on top of him. His expression was fierce and sincere. "Let me make it right. I cannot go back and change the past, but I can do my best to make it up to you. I love you.
"Goddamn it, Abigail, I've never said that to another woman before. I'm here humbling myself, baring my soul and would like you to listen. I need you in my life." He slid his hands up and down her arms. "I need another chance. Please."
She was conflicted. Being with him, feeling his body against hers, seeing the look in his eyes was weakening her resolve. She had spent years hating him for what he did to her, for tearing her young heart out and just walking away from her.
She had had to suffer through seeing him in the papers with some beautiful woman clinging to his arms and had managed to put it all behind her, until he walked back into her life.
"I need time." She saw the flash of pain on his face before he schooled his expression.
"All right. All right." His fingers gripped her arms and then relaxed. "How much?"
"Cade--"
"A week? Two? A month?"
"I don't know. I cannot just bury the past and what happened between us."
"No." He shook his head, expression bleak. "I suppose not."
Suddenly she realized that she could not bear the idea of pushing him away. "We could go on dates."
His eyes flared as he stared at her.
"You're saying--"
"That I want to, to get to know you."
She gasped when he hauled her up and closed his mouth on hers.
The lovemaking this time had more than a hint of desperation. He kept apologizing for his rough handling of her. When he drove into her, he did so with a fierceness and intensity that sent her soaring.
When it was all over and the climax crashed through their bodies, he held her against him, heart beating unsteadily, skin coated with a thin layer of sweat.
Now he was watching her sleep, curled up against him. Nothing had ever been so potent. She had sliced him open when she lashed at him before and left him bleeding from many cuts. And caused him to spend an inordinate amount of time mulling over his own carelessness with women in the past.
His only stipulation was he never ever slept with a married woman. Quite a few had whispered seductively in his ears, had tried to persuade him to sway from his conviction, but he had held fast.
Oddly, he had believed even then in the sanctity of marriage and never wanted to be the one to destroy that.
Brushing back tendrils of hair clinging to her forehead, he couldn't help kissing her forehead. She was curled up against him, her naked curves pressing into his flesh and it felt right. He wanted to marry her. Make her his wife.
