“Preach.” Lanie raises her glass. “I’m thinking of starting a Fans page. If showing strangers my asshole can start to pay down some of the balance before I graduate, then dignity be damned.”
I snort a laugh into my drink and give her a grateful look.
“You really can’t put a price on a good education though,” John says, his attention fixated on Butch and his expression less than friendly. “So, what is it that you do without any kind of college degree? Bouncer?” He eyes Butch’s physique again, and I bristle.
“Fitness trainer. That’s actually how Percy and I met.”
“Fitness trainer?” John echoes dryly.
Butch sits up a little straighter, and my stomach twists itself into knots. I shouldn’t have subjected him to this. I should have known that these guys would be elitist snobs.
“Yeah. But we don’t need to talk about work all night.” Butch looks down at his hand, subtly glancing at his palm, then back to John. “Let’s talk about something more interesting, like, uh, philosophy.”
“Philosophy?” Bruce repeats with a cold laugh.
“What were you thinking,Butch?” Marcus says his name like it’s a punchline. “Moral relativism? Existentialism? Dialectical materialism?”
“Maybe the philosophy of push-ups.” John snorts a laugh into his drink.
“Alright,” I interject, setting my cup down with enough force that beer sloshes over the sides onto the table. “You guys are being complete assholes. Good for all of us, we know big words and memorized a lot of books written by dead guys with suspect morals and beliefs. Thanks for the invite, feel free to shove it up your ass next time.”
I shove my chair back noisily, and Butch looks startled as I stand up, but he follows without argument. I’m almost positive he givestheman apologetic look right before we storm out.
BUTCH
Percy’s footsteps are heavy, and his breathing is harsh, the cold air turning each of his exhales into a puff of fog in quick bursts as I follow him down the block, away from the bar.
My heart is in my throat. I didn’t even make it through one drink without embarrassing him. Hell, I barely opened my mouth before they all clocked me as being out of place. Do smart people not drink beer? I should have asked Ezra when he washelping me shop for clothes and giving me pointers on topics to talk about. I should have asked more follow-up questions too. Although I would have run out of space on my hands for more notes. Who knew philosophy was such a can of worms. Good thing I didn’t ask what books everyone was reading like he suggested. That John guy probably would have known immediately that the last book I read wasThe Great Gatsbyin the ninth grade, and I didn’t even make it past the second chapter before trying to decipher what the hell the author was talking about gave me a headache.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur as we round the corner and Percy finally slows down.
“What?” He turns towards me and frowns.
I shake my head and rub the back of my neck. “I’m sorry,” I say again. “I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of your friends. I should have seen that coming. I’m never going to fit in with them. Guys like that?—”
“Guys like that are insecure assholes.” He takes a step closer. He tilts his head up and slides his hands under my jacket. “Seriously, fuck them. Those aren’t my friends. They’re just people in the same PhD program. I didn’t know they would be such elitist pricks to you, but I should have guessed. And I’m the one who should be apologizing for subjecting you to that.”
“He was right though,” I mutter, glancing back. I’m not exactly expecting John or anyone else to march out here and insult me some more, but I wouldn’t be surprised either.
“He’s not,” Percy says firmly, sliding one of his hands out from under my coat and bringing it up to my face like he wants to make sure he has my full attention. As if he’s had anythinglessthan my full attention since he agreed to arm wrestle me. “You’re smart, Butch.”
I open my mouth to argue, to point out the lifetime of proof I have to back me up on this one, but he covers it with his hand before I can say anything.
“I don’t give a shit that you weren’t great at school. That’s one small part of life, and it doesn’t make you smart or not. Being good at school just means you’regood atschool.” He kisses my chin softly. “You’re smarter than me in a thousand ways. You have emotional intelligence that most people will never match, you learned how to coach people without ever taking any classes, you know all that stuff about nutrition and muscle groups. Youaresmart.”
He lowers his hand and loops both arms around my neck.
“Yeah, I guess.” I hear the logic in everything he’s saying, it’s just hard to shake a lifetime of teachers and other people telling me I’m an idiot. But if Percy believes in me, if he sees something more than just a dumb jock when he looks at me, maybe that’s enough.
“Do you know why I decided to go for my PhD?”
I shake my head.
“Because I was terrified of what the hell I would do when I couldn’t fall back on school anymore. I'm still scared shitless of it. Plus, I think part of me hoped that if I learned everything I could about every aspect of every culture in human history,maybeI’d find some kind of answer about life and about myself.” He chuckles and then tugs his bottom lip between his teeth. “I’m good at school, but I don’t know if I’ll be good at anything else.”
“That’s crazy talk, Rocky. I haven’t seen you fail at a single thing yet.”
“Mm.” He brushes his lips across my chin again. I can feel the shape of his smile against my skin, and it makes my heart beat faster. “Maybe we just need to keep reminding each other that those rude, insecure voices in our heads don’t know shit.Actually, your sexy coach voice is drowning out that other one more and more every day.”
