CHAPTER NINETEEN
PERCY
I’d loveto say I spent the rest of my Saturday alone in my apartment making amazing progress on my paper. But what actually happened was that Butch and I slept on the couch for two hours, and even after he left, I spent the rest of the day with him on my mind. Very little work happened, and while I am both ashamed of myself and starting to get a little anxious about the creeping deadline, I also can’t stop smiling.
And here I am on Sunday morning now, with my notes spread out on the kitchen table and my laptop open in front of me, checking for any new texts instead of working on this damn research paper.
“Get it together, man,” I mutter to myself, setting my phone face down, as far away as possible so I’ll stop reaching for it. So I hooked up with a hot guy. That doesn’t mean the world stops turning. I have my degree to focus on and… other things… very social and… Ugh, who am I kidding? Getting naked with Butch is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me. Fuck a PhD and a career, I just want to simp for that sweet, muscly gymbo.
I sigh and toss my pen down onto my pile of notes. The distinct sound of the key in the door is all the excuse I need to abandon my work for now. I greet Juno at the front door with a wide, teasing smirk plastered to my face, my arms crossed sternly over my chest.
“And just where have you been all weekend, young they’dy?” I do my best impression of my own father trying to be all parental.
Juno snorts and raises an eyebrow at me.
“I’ve got a better question. Is that a hickey or a bug bite?” They look pointedly at my neck, and I hurry to cover whatever spot they noticed that I must have missed when I looked in the mirror this morning. I was too busy looking at my immutable smile to check for any love bites.
Juno laughs and points at me with playful accusation. “Iknewit. You and Butch totally hooked up.”
I scoff and lower my hand. “Hey, I came in here to tease you about your forty-eight hour fuckfest, not to be interrogated about the fact that Butch and I totally hooked up… twice.”
Juno squeals with excitement and I join them.
“Come on. I need a shower, but I want to hear everything.” They kick off their shoes and then grab my arm and tow me along to the bathroom. I close the toilet lid and sit down while they turn on the shower and start to disrobe, tossing their clothes haphazardly in the general direction of the hamper. “Dude, don’t leave me hanging. What happened? How did it happen? Was he nice? Are you happy? You look really fucking happy.”
My smile gets even wider and all the happy, tingly feelings I’ve had since Butch kissed me at his apartment rush right back to the surface.
“It was amazing, Juno. He’s just so…” I sigh happily and bite my lip. “I hate getting all hung up on gender stereotypes, but he’sjust such aguy, you know? I think part of the reason I’ve been holding back and afraid to really date or even get physical with anyone is because I’ve been afraid that once a cis guy knew I was trans, he would, I don’t know, treat me like ‘the girl’ in bed. You know? But, god, it’s not like that with Butch at all.”
“Perce, that makes me so fucking happy. You deserve all the things. Now do you see why I’ve been such a buttinsky about your love life?” Juno makes another happy noise and hugs me.
“Dude, boobs,” I complain, playfully shoving them away.
They stick their tongue out, then pull the shower curtain back and step inside.
“Okay, so, was it just sex? Did he ask you on a date? Fill me in.”
Annnnnnnd there goes all the air right out of my happy little bubble. My shoulders slump and my smile falls, and I’m kind of glad they’re on the other side of the curtain and can’t see any of it.
“I don’t know. Before we had sex we were talking about some stuff, and he mentioned that he doesn’t really date. He said something about not wanting to sacrifice his time at the gym, and then he offered to be my sex coach.”
Juno groans loudly. “That’s cheesy as fuck.”
“Yeah. Or maybe I’m the one who made the sex coach joke. I can’t remember.” I grimace. “But he definitely said the not dating thing. Except, Ialsomentioned that I never really date, and obviously I’m not anti-dating, so maybe I shouldn’t read too much into it? Junooooooo,” I whine, “this is why I didn’t want to do this. School is easy, boys are hard. I should have stuck to my strengths.”
“No panic spirals. Take a deep breath,” they command. “It sounds like you need to talk to him.”
“God no. That sounds super embarrassing.”
“Percy, don’t make me come out there and fight you.”
I groan. “But what am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, Butch, do youlikeme like me or were you just horny?’”
“I mean, I would make it sound less middle school, but basically, yeah.”
“Do I have to?”
Juno pulls the shower curtain back and gives me a much better stern look than I managed earlier.
