I nod. “If I agreed to assist him during the tournament, he would set me free and return me h-home.”
Nervously, I watch the goddess’ features. I search for a pleat of skin around her eyes, a bend of her mouth, anything that might indicate how she receives this revelation.
“I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in this situation, Min from Marles,” she at last replies. “Believe it or not, I do understand what it means to be a captive, though only from what a beloved member of the family has told me.”
My confusion must be plain, for she goes on, “I mentioned my daughter before, but I did not tell you that she was stolen from me. Yes.Stolen by a god of darkness. Trapped in his realm for months, allowed to return to me for only part of the year, to bring an end to winter’s chill. There is nothing I can do.”
“That’s horrible,” I say, appalled. “The Council of Gods will not help?”
“The council does not meddle with individual affairs,” she says with a strange lilt I recognize as irony. “And that is why it is pointless to bring your plight to them, if that is what you were hoping to do.”
That is, in fact, the last thing I intend to do. “I know they would not help a mortal. But I thought, maybe there was something you could do to help m-me?” I lift my eyes in hope. I am not beneath pleading my case.
Demi sighs before setting down her cup of tea untouched. My stomach is too twisted into knots to consider drinking anything. I wonder if Eurus even cares that I have left. It is a subtle rash against my skin, the thought that he does not.
“Historically, the divine keep our orders separate from the mortal realms. It is for everyone’s protection. That you have been brought to the City of Gods is unfortunate, but I fear my hands are tied.”
I nod, feeling entirely too small for this conversation, though I know it is not Demi’s intention. It is not my fault, after all. It was never my choice to make.
“Is there nothing you can do?” I ask.
She shakes her head, mouth pressed into severity. “No. By our laws, you belong to Eurus, and we gods do not take lightly to things being taken from us. We have gone to war over less.”
“I’m not an object,” I challenge. “I’m a person.”
“The divine do not see it that way.”
“Well, the way they see it is despicable,” I hiss out. Then I blink. Too harsh, these words. Too many points. “I’m s-sorry. I don’t know what came over m-m-me.”
“I do.” She chuckles. “You do not feel heard. Don’t ever be sorry for speaking your mind, love. There is no other way to live.” She then picks up her cup, brow knit in contemplation. “Perhaps it’s time you learned the truth.”
I sink lower in the chair, feeling worse than I did upon entering the room. “Not to offend, but I didn’t come here for advice about how to speak up for myself. I came here because I thought you m-might understand where I’m coming from.”
“I hear you, Min.” Demi levels me a gaze filled with so much compassion it eases the tension strangling my muscles. “But I wasn’t referring to you. I meant the truth about Eurus’ past.”
“Oh,” I manage weakly.
Demi sighs. It is a sound of prolonged suffering, yet acceptance, too. “It was around Eurus’ sixteenth year when he and I first became lovers. That was also the year Eurus’ father took a particular interest in him. He was… not kind.” She frowns in a preoccupied manner. “Very few of the divine possess what you would callnurturingtendencies. But Astraeus was something else entirely.”
Steam wafts upward from the pale-yellow tea, which tastes of grass and sunlight, brightest spring rolling across my tongue. It is an uneasy contrast to the darkness of the goddess’ words. “In what way?”
“He was brutal, ruthless, uncompromising. And he saved the worst of his wrath for Eurus. There were many days I saw him slathering salve over fresh bruises or nursing a recent break. As you can imagine, such treatment took its toll over the years.”
I do not need to imagine. I have lived it most of my life.
I hastily set down the cup, fighting for breath. It is too warm, the air stagnant. A bead of cold sweat wends its way down my spine.
I’d suspected that Eurus’ past involved abuse or neglect. But to have it confirmed, to hear of the horrendous treatment he endured at the hands of a person who should make him feel worthy, secure, loved… The East Wind and I are more alike than I realized.
“But that was not the worst of what Eurus faced,” Demi says softly.
My fingers grip the tops of my thighs. “What, exactly, did he face?”
The goddess’ features lie in shadow as she stares into her tea with faraway eyes, her skin having paled.
“A few months into our relationship, Eurus began to change. He grew detached and suffered from seemingly random outbursts of rage. I heard from Notus—one of his elder brothers—that Astraeus had taken Eurus away, far from the city. When Eurus returned, he was gravely wounded.”
I press a hand to my clammy forehead. It feels as if every past wound and break and scar has ignited across my body, rendering me breathless with pain. “In what way?” Only in pushing through the ugliness of the East Wind’s abuse will I truly understand him.
